Li Na shook her head to suppress those thoughts and gently persuaded Li Jun to lie down. She covered him with the sheet and the silk duvet, tucking the edges under his arms, across his chest. She sat down on the bed next to him, watching him as he looked at her.
"I was listening to a song in my head," he whispered as if he was continuing a conversation.
She frowned in confusion. "What kind of song?"
"Tears In Heaven". Over and over."
"Why do you listen to that?"
"To remember."
"Oh, Li Jun. Why?" Li Na inquired, because the song was about the death of loved ones, and she couldn't listen to it without crying.
He didn't answer.
She leaned over him. "Li Jun? tián xīn, don't listen to that kind of music anymore, okay? No more of those depressing songs. Make your way out of the shadows and into the light." Li Na realized she was beginning to sound like her doctor when she said, "See and embrace the beauty around you."
"Where's the light? Where is the beauty? " he mumbled.
Li Na exhaled deeply. "Why do you drink so much?"
"To forget," he said, closing his eyes and resting back on the pillow.
With his eyes closed, she was able to admire him. She surmised that he would have been sweet-looking as a teenager—all big brown eyes and kissable lips and sexy-looking ruffled hair. He might have been shy instead of angry or sad. He has the potential to be admirable and good. He may have kissed Li Na on her parents' porch, brought her to the prom, and made love to her for the first time on a pallet under the stars in the old orchard behind her parents' house if they had been closer in age. In a more perfect scenario, she might have been his first.
Li Na pondered how much suffering a human soul, her heart, could take before fully wilting and dying, and she turned to leave. She was caught by a warm hand that darted out to grab her.
"Don't leave me," he breathed. His eyes were only half-open, and they pleaded with her. "Please, Li Na."
He knew who she was, but somehow he still wanted her to stay. And the way his eyes and his voice grew desperate…she could not deny him when he looked like that.
She wrapped her hand in his and sat beside him again. "I'm not going to leave you. Just sleep now. There's light all around you. So much light and beauty." she said calmly.
His lips curved into a smile, and she heard him sigh; his grip on her fingers eased. She inhaled deeply, held her breath, and brushed her finger across his brows. She gently massaged his eyes one by one when he didn't flinch or open them. When Li Na was a child and couldn't sleep, her mother did this. But that was a long time ago when her mother neglected her to pursue other, more important pursuits.
Li Jun was still smiling, and so Li Na bravely moved her hand to his hair. She was reminded of the time she'd spent on a farming community in Changhua during her farm practical year as she felt the wild strands sliding between her fingers. She'd been led out to a field by a field attendant, and the two of them had walked together, her hand floating over the tops of the grasses. Li Jun's hair, like the whispering Changhua grass, was feather-light and smooth against her touch.
She began to stroke his hair, the way Mrs. Chen must have done at one time. He allowed her fingertips to trail down the side of his face, tracing his angular jaw and rubbing gently against his stubble. She touched the merest hint of a dimple in his chin and began to move the back of her hand against his high and noble cheekbones. She wondered if he would let her be near to him; if he were awake, she knows she would be reluctant to take such liberties.
With his relatively normal breathing, his magnificent chest rose and fell. He appeared to have fallen asleep.
She stared at his neck, the muscles in his shoulders and the tops of his arms, his collarbone, and the tops of his pectorals. If he had been pale, he would have looked like a Roman statue carved in cold, white marble. But the merest hint of a tan left over from the summer made his skin glow almost gold in the lamplight.
Li Na smoothed his covering sheet and laid a kiss against his brow.
Just then, Li Jun's phone rang.
She jumped in surprise. The phone was ringing very loudly. Li Jun was beginning to move, the horrible noise piercing his rest. So Li Na answered it.
"Hello?"
"Who the hell is this?" a woman's voice, shocked and shrill, demanded.
"This is Li Jun's residence. Who is this?"
"This is Daiyu. Put Li Jun on the phone! Now!" she shrieked.
What the...
Li Na halted her actions of dropping the call and her heart skipped a beat when the name of the woman registered in her consciousness. She stood up, taking the phone with her, and walked into the bathroom, closing the door.
"He can't come to the phone right now. Is it an emergency?"
"What do you mean he can't? Tell him it's Daiyu and I want to speak to him."
"Well, he's kind of sick."
"sick? Listen, you little slut, roll Li Jun over and put the phone in his hand. I'm calling from the—"
"Little what? You listen to me! He can't talk to you right now. Call back tomorrow." Li Na pressed the end button, interrupting Daiyu's torrent of furious words, feeling thoroughly angered and disgusted.
She's more demanding than a casual lover. Maybe she is his side chick—and Li Na was pissed that she answered the phone. She was equally angry at Li Jun for keeping a supposed side chick who lack manners.
Li Na cringed at her continued misfortune and removed the towel from her hair, hanging it up to dry. She returned to the bedroom and placed the phone on the table. She intended to leave Li Jun to his dreams and sleep in the guest room because she'd promised that she wouldn't abandon him.
Suddenly, two brown eyes opened wide and began to stare right through her.
"Li Na," he whispered, reaching out his hand.
Li Na shuddered fiercely.
"Li Na," he whispered again, gazing into her eyes with unblinking recognition.
"Are you okay? Li Jun?" She asked, walking towards him.