Andy was just dozing off when he heard his mobile ringing. Damn it's in the kitchen. He dragged himself up and got to the phone just as it rung off. He saw Jans number. Then it immediately rang again.
The phone call was a blur he could hear someone shouting 'NO! NO! NO! Not Emma!' and then realised that he was the one shouting. Maggie had gotten up wondering what the hell was going on. All the colour had drained out of Andy's face. She could tell it was something to do with Emma as he had shouted out her name. She grabbed the phone from Andy, her mother's instinct taking over.
Jan was on the other end in a terrible state. Victoria suddenly came on the phone and in a calm yet very shaky voice she told Maggie the terrible news. Emma had been taken to Hillingdon Hospital A&E because she had taken an overdose.
After the call Maggie took control of the situation and got Andy to sit down. She put the kettle on to make some tea. She could see the shock had taken over and Andy was just sitting unable to utter a word his head in his hands. He had gone as white as a ghost and was shaking all over.
She fussed around the kitchen all the time reassuring him that Emma was going to be alright, she's in the hospital and they will deal with it. Andy had begun to mutter over and over 'Not my Emma not my Emma.' At one point he said 'My little baby spice,' as he sat and wept.
Andy suddenly got up knocking over Maggie's Super Gran mug, the tea spilling all over the table and the mug smashing into pieces on the floor.
We have to get to the hospital he said rushing into his bedroom to get changed. Maggie followed after her son.
'You can't they won't let you in. They wouldn't let anyone go with her not even Jan. Due to Covid restrictions.' said Maggie.
Andy sat down on the edge of his old childhood bed not knowing what to do with himself. Feeling inadequate as a father unable to go to his child that needed him. Maggie was unable to move him and the next hour passed with Andy inconsolable. Maggie broke down too but kept her emotions in check.
Her need to take care of her son was her number one priority. At one point she suggested they pray and although Andy, like his Dad Bill, was not religious he agreed.
Maggie went to her bedroom and came back with the crucifix in her hands and knelt down by the bed. Andy joined her in desperation and they both closed their eyes and prayed.
Then Maggie insisted they went back in the kitchen saying: 'I'll make some more tea, you've had a terrible shock.'
Maggie put the kettle on and cleared up the broken Super Gran mug. It was the mug Emma had given her one Christmas. Somehow Maggie feared that Emma was not going to make it and as she picked up the pieces she put them on the side unable to put them in the bin. Come on now drink your tea and we'll phone Jan again and then the hospital.
Jan answered the Andy's phonecall on the first ring. She was sitting with Darren and Victoria in the kitchen waiting for news from the hospital. She spoke and cried with both Maggie and Andy and passed the phone around the room.
She had Emma's Mr.Ted and somehow got some comfort from holding him. They had given it to her for Christmas when she was two. He was sixteen years old now and quite worn from all the love he had received. Emma never went anywhere without him. Even when she had gone on a school tour to France when she was thirteen she had hidden Mr.Ted in her bag taking him out at night wrapped up in her Pyjamas so no one saw him.
Spice who wasn't too pleased about been locked in the bathroom was in Emma's room lying on her bed. Darren had finally heard her barking amid the confusion and had let her out. She had promptly gone to Emma's room and looked at him with the saddest spaniel face he had ever seen.
Darren sat on Emma's bed and cried painful tears. He felt ill with the sickness of sadness. He went over in his mind..why had he not noticed? He knew something was wrong. Why hadn't he checked on her? It was all his fault!
Spice tried to console him and had lent her body into his. He buried his face in her fur and thought his heart would break. He left Spice curled up on the pink fleece blanket and took Mr Ted downstairs. Somehow he felt the little bear needed to be with them downstairs. As soon as Jan had seen Mr Ted she had gently taken him from Darren and hugged him to her chest and to her face. He smelled of Emma.They had all hugged and cried somehow Mr Ted helped them. It will be ok Mum Victoria had said they will pump her stomach and she will be ok.
The waiting was unbearable so many cups of tea were made, some were drunk some were not. They went over and over the same thing like they were all caught in a loop. The whys and the what ifs. Darren repeating himself saying: 'I saw Spice at her door why didn't I look in on her?'
All of them dealing with their own guilt and 'what if's?'. Jan was beside herself and in dreadful shock. They were all still full of grief for Bill and unable to fully process what was happening. It knocked them sideways.
The sadness seemed to shift from person to person. One minute they would all be consoling Jan, the next minute Darren or Victoria. Like they took turns to breakdown because they couldn't all do it at once or they wouldn't be able to recover. Waves of doubt and regret washing over them they all struggled to stay a float.
So somehow, minute by minute, they got thru the hours with their whole world falling apart. None of them could sleep as they all waited to get news from the hospital.
During the night and early morning Jan had spoken several times with the hospital. Emma was in intensive care they were doing everything they could for her and that was all they knew.
The next 24 hours would be critical. Jan had begged to be able to go to the hospital and had pleaded with them.
'Let me come I'm her mother she needs me,' she said to the operator.
They spoke with Andy and with Maggie all of them inconsolable and all of them wanting to believe that she was going to be alright. The pain of being a parent and not been able to go to your child that needs you broke both Jan and Andy.
Andy had thought about making his way to Hayes but didn't want to leave his Mam alone and Jan had insisted that he stay.
'Let's not cause any trouble,' she said. 'We've broken enough rules already.'
Victoria had gone upstairs and sat in Emma's room . It had been years since she had actually gone into her room. She wished they had been closer. Guilt and remorse overcame her as she sat on Emma's bed. The room was a mess but Emma had always been messy. Still very much a teenagers room. there was a few of her childhood toys and books scattered around the place.
They had looked for a note…some sort of suicide letter but hadn't found anything. As Victoria sat crying for her baby sister her own baby kicked for the first time. She hadn't even told Emma.
'Come on Emma please don't die,' she thought.
At the hospital Emma had been rushed into intensive care. They had pumped her stomach and she lay there alone on life support with very little hope of survival. As the critical hours passed and Emma's condition deteriorated she suddenly took a turn for the worse and her heart stopped beating.
The doctors did everything they could and tried to resuscitate her but she flatlined and they eventually had to give up. She was declared dead at 4.30 am and the hospital made the call to tell the family.
The nurses in intensive care that day had stood by the young girls bed and had shed a tear. It always moved them to see someone so young die
Emma lay in the bed like a porcelain doll her auburn hair framing her white face and her tiny childlike body making her look no older than fifteen.
It was tragic beyond belief.
When the phone call finally came everything fell apart. They were all exhausted and emotionally spent and each person in the family was beyond devastated. The grief and the shock overwhelmed all of them. To lose the eldest of the family and now the youngest within weeks was just too awful to comprehend.
Nobody would remember the next few days or weeks as the pain swallowed them up and the last thing they needed was a low life journalist sniffing around trying to get a story.