I always believed in respect before anything else. It was no secret that I did indeed go through some hard times in recent years when I had barely graduated to look after my mother who was starting to get unwell in her old age. Well she had been a single mother for years in a society where such things were easily over-looked, so I wasn't surprised in the least that she got ill. But for her to get diagnosed so quickly and then passing away as soon as we landed in a new city that I was completely clueless about; it was just too overwhelming to me, to the point where I locked myself in my room for month after I signed the marriage papers with a cousin of mine I barely knew and to be honest I didn't want to get to know him. We came from different worlds so what was the point of getting know anyone apart from my uncle who was the only person to make me feel welcome into his mansion that could have well taken over the whole apartment floor back home.
I will never forget how the 'marriage' between us happened and how quickly it had came about; I practically had ripped into my mother about how unfair this marriage was for both of us! I had never even stepped foot into a home where I was not welcomed, and now I was thrusted onto this stranger who was supposed to be my cousin a s his wife? We had barely exchanged and words between up apart from my accepting his condolences on my mother's condition. Then when we got the news that my mother wouldn't make it we had to sign the papers on her deathbed! My mother had lived her life with pride and had taught me to do the same, yet when I was completely orphaned I was left humiliated as to live on my cousin's mercy? I didn't want to be forced into a stranger's life! But what could any of us do? It was her dying wish and I had nowhere else to go! And I heard his little rant to the women inches life who looked like they were close to wanting to throw me out a window which just tore my pride apart even more. My self-esteem had been ripped to shreds and I had no face to show anyone. I was always told that relationships could only form between equals but this rich family was well beyond my league and everyone seemed to know it apart from my mother and my uncle. I kept telling mother this was a bad idea before she had passed, and I continuously tired to tell her how small I felt to someone who wasn't my equal of education and status but the was just too worried about me I guess. But I valued self-respect and independence from her more than anything and she knew it. So how else could I act other than stoic? What could I say to the man I was forced to live with?