I had never met Khirad before, so this was all too new to me. First; she came to live with us when her mother got sick, then all of a sudden I had my father begging me to marry her as soon as we had buried her mother? My father may as well have ordered me a Yale graduate to marry any random street woman at this point, that was how little I knew about my own cousin. It wasn't my finest moment I had to admit but even I couldn't stop ranting to my mother and cousin Sara how unfair this situation was! To wed a common girl who looked as illiterate as they came? I had always dreamed of marrying someone I had a lot in common with, who I could share my thoughts and ideas with; who could walk with me as my equal in life. But this girl looked so…backwards I couldn't even decipher her true nature. I truly felt like was being punished for her mother's illness, so I had to take care of her now? Was he being serious?
As if that wasn't enough, my best friend and cousin…started confessing her feelings for me? Feelings I had no idea existed between us at all. It was true that nobody understood me like she did and probably nobody would, especially this common girl I had to marry but…but something in me changed when it came to Sara, I began to witness a side to her I had never seen before….and I didn't like it at all. From her random angry outburst to trying to kill herself over me, the constant crying one minute then the best friend act the next minute, the girl I had spent my whole life with was honestly…starting to disgust me. And she kept saying the same lines over and over again "I had the right to fight for you, I still can't live without you…" Well, what did she expect me to do with this? I had told her I hadn't felt the same way…and just because I had married a stranger it didn't mean that I was going to automatically fall for her? I felt like my whole world had turned upside down and I had nobody to rely on, to talk to or who would even understand me; everybody around me seemed to have their own motives regarding this so-called marriage of mine.
But Sara was still all I had so I pretty much had no choice other than to coax her with our friendship that I wasn't really sure of anymore. And although I still wasn't thrilled over my new wife who hadn't left her room a month after her mother passed away I really didn't like the faces Sara pulled each time she asked me about her, which was almost every damned day. I confided in her a few times but I tried to be as cautious as I could…then again the situation wasn't ideal so maybe I talked a bit too much? Who knows. And there she was by my side, coaxing me all along…if only I had known what was going to happen in the future I probably would have made a lot of changes to the person that I chose to confide in, despite the multiple red flags she had shown me in the space of weeks after my marriage papers had been signed.
The situation was indeed depressing for a while; we could barely communicate with each other, I had Sara asking me about her like she wanted to gossip about Khirad and I had my father pressuring me to become the perfect husband. But all she did was act like a damned statue no matter how much I tried to converse with her, be around her…there was no connection at all. We had nothing to say to each other as well, and who wanted an…emotionless wife. She had a complexity about her, a servile attitude that I despised so much I had started going home later and later just to avoid talking to her at all. But…as time went by…I did indeed feel that I wasn't the only one having these thoughts…and it turns out that I wasn't wrong either.