Count Eu was waiting for us inside the ship.
He frowned when he saw me. "You kept that hideous outfit for all these years?" he said, and without waiting for an answer, turned around and left us. The ship's ramp closed.
"I was not able to thank you for saving me, Madame," said Toro, without looking at me.
"I wish I hadn't," I said, and I walked towards a circular window. The ship took off a few minutes afterwards, and I stared at the receding Balian skyline as we ascended, thinking: I hope I never see you again.
Unlike my first journey on a Balian ship, this time I had a bedroom with a bed. It was a lush circular room with a private bathroom. A screen showed our position in the star system and the time in Balian hours. Toro showed up after I had taken the bath I longed for and he apologized because there were no aves for me to eat.
Suicide by fasting had proved harder than I thought. Part of me wanted to eat whatever they served. But I wasn't going to make this journey easy for the Balians. At least I wouldn't die on Balia, and I would gladly die in the vast openness of space, which didn't belong to them or anyone.
After seventy seven hours without eating, two servants tried to sedate me and give me an IV. With the last remnants of my strength, I attacked them with my wings. Their blades were no longer sharp but they were still solid. I knocked them down and they scrambled up and left me alone. The Count walked into the bedroom several times throughout the day and threatened to kill me in so many painful ways that I lost count.
By the fourth Balian day of fasting, I couldn't leave the bed. I didn't even want to drink water because I'd have to go the bathroom. Standing up was too much effort.
By the seventh Balian day, I was sure I would die.
On the eighth day, I woke up to find myself tied to the bed and with an IV tube coming out of my arm. They had also removed the bandage on my head.
Toro was sitting on the foot of the bed and stood up when he realized I was awake.
"Madame, the Count decided to make a stop to get you aves," he said. "Will you eat them if we get some?"
"Yes," I replied, and fell back to sleep.
The next day I woke up to find the warm light of a star shining on my face. I assumed it was still Kira, since we couldn't have left the star system on the same ship. To my surprise, my arms and legs responded when I tried to sit up. The restraints that held me to the bed weren't too tight, and I was able to turn my head around. I squinted out the window and couldn't believe what I saw.
Trees.
Paguan trees. A massive, spiky potbellied Samu'u stood outside the window.
"Help! Please, someone, help me!" I yelled, and tried to bite the restraints. This could be the last time I ever saw Pagua.
The door to the bedroom slid open and Toro ran in. "What happened?" he said, holding on to the wall. He seemed sick.
The air! The sweet, sweet Paguan oxygenized air. I remembered that the Balian soldiers had struggled with the extra oxygen during the war.
"Please, Toro. Take these things off me. Let me see Pagua one more time. I will eat, I'll marry Count Eu and give him children too. Please!" I pleaded.
Toro hesitated, but then walked towards me.
"Madame, there will be consequences for me if Count Eu finds out I did this," he said, and pressed his finger to the cuff around my wrist. He kneeled on the bed and pressed the button on the other cuff and both of them snapped open.
I pushed Toro back and he fell off the bed. I stood up and started to run to the door when I saw the IV was still hooked to my arm. I pulled it off and a trickle of blood fell down my skin as I ran out.
The hatch was open and the ramp extended down. Only then did I realize that I was barefoot and wearing nothing but a chemise. But if this was the last time I'd be in Pagua, I'd see it naked if I had to.
On the foot of the ramp, three Balian soldiers were stacking some crates on top of each other. I ran down the ramp and fell on the soft, red Paguan soil. I grabbed a handful of it and started to laugh and cry at the same time. The Balian soldiers jumped at me and grabbed my arms, pulling me back up the ramp. I kicked at them and tried to hit them with my wings but they were too strong.
"Let her come!" yelled Count Eu from afar, and the soldiers stopped. They released me and I ran back down the ramp.
Taking deep breaths, I walked past the stacked crates. The air was hot and sticky and I loved it. We had landed in Cazú, one of the first districts the Balians had occupied during the war. I recognized the temple that towered over the trees. On its triangular tip, a Balian flag waved in the wind.
Count Eu was talking to a Paguan man in ragged clothes. More Balian soldiers showed up, carrying crates towards the ship. The Count gestured for me to go to him and I joined them, as the Paguan man looked at me agape.
Kira shone down on me like it hadn't in years, warming my skin and heart. How I had missed its warmth! My feet sunk into the soil, but with every step I took I felt lighter and stronger.
"We will get your food and some supplies, darling, and then we'll be off again," said the Count, a little too loudly. Then I noticed why. There were Paguans watching us from the trees. Females and children, who whispered to each other. The Count was sweating profusely and tried to loosen his collar while he spoke with the Paguan man. I smiled at the man and he looked back at the Count, who was going over a list.
"Ce naikai oiko el Count," I said, hoping the Paguan understood Garai. I hadn't spoken the ancient Paguan language in ages.
The Count stopped reading his list and scowled at me, and the Paguan looked at us back and forth.
"Please escort my bride to be back to the ship. It seems like she's still sick," the Count said, and two Balian soldiers towards me.
"There's no need, I'll show her back," said Toro. He showed up behind me, and put a sweaty shaking hand on my shoulder. He had my bag in his other hand.
"Ce peit karauka ne el Count. Ndai omanu Solano!" I screamed, as Toro tried to drag me back to the ship by the arm. I twisted my arm and Toro let go.
"Toro, please just let me speak to them. They have to know I had nothing to do with Solano's death, and that I'm not with the Balians willingly," I said, as Toro tried to pull me back. He grabbed my right wing, when I heard shouts from behind.
The Balian soldiers surrounded Count Eu and started to fire towards the trees. The females and children disappeared into the canopies, screaming. A Balian solider covered the Count with a holoshield and they moved towards the ship. More Balian soldiers ran into the clearing from the temple's direction and kept firing at the trees.
Toro pulled me back and we fell on the ground. A shadow appeared overhead, and I looked up. A black hooded figure flew down and landed on a tree. The Balian soldiers fired in its direction.
Someone from Utania?
It couldn't be.
"Fire bomb!" yelled a Balian soldier and their formation around the Count broke. The bomb landed on the holoshield and exploded, sending flames in all directions. Count Eu and a Balian soldier fell on the ground, but the other soldiers had caught fire. Some rolled on the ground and tried to put their clothes and skin out, and others lay dead and disfigured on the ground.
"Madame, get back to the ship!" yelled Toro.
The other Balian soldiers tried to help the ones on fire by throwing dirt on them. Some kept shooting towards the trees. Count Eu got up and ran towards me and Toro.
An arrow struck Count Eu on the shoulder and he fell forward, landing near my feet. He yelled out in pain as a Balian soldier covered him with a holoshield. More arrows descended from the trees, falling on the Balian soldiers. One landed near my leg and I got up.
The hooded figure appeared from the trees and landed roughly by my side. Someone shot at the figure but the figure's black wings absorbed the blow. A bluish hand grabbed my metallic hand, and pulled me towards the sky. I was off the ground and I flapped my wings.
Once, twice and I was steady, flying free after four years.