I didn't know where I was going or who I was following, but it didn't matter. I was free, at least until the Balians regrouped and sent someone out to hunt me. After a few attempts to talk to the hooded figure, I gave up. Whenever I started to yell, the figure flew faster, as if avoiding me.
I hadn't flown in so long that it was hard for me to concentrate on the landscape without losing sight of my savior. I wanted to take it all in: the mountains to the South, the Paran river that glistened in Kira's light and the endless shades of green. Some signs of the war were still visible. There were clearings in the forest that had been clearly made by bombs. We also flew over an abandoned city that I did not recognize.
After what seemed like an hour, the figure began to descend. I was relieved. My wings felt rusty, like wheels that haven't turned in a long, long time. The adrenaline that had fueled me during the escape was wearing off, and the effects of my voluntary starvation began to kick in.
As we descended, I kept my eyes on a mountain in the distance. Was that Tabuia? The memory of the night I had spent in there seemed to weigh me down. When we were closer to the ground, I realized where the figure intended to land. Before us lay a ravaged landscape of rocks and dirt. I didn't remember if I had been here during the war, but even if I had, the place was now unrecognizable. A humongous pit lay between two hills, with a path around its edges that headed downwards. At the foot of the hills, a cemetery of rusting excavating machines lay forgotten. I closed my eyes for a moment, taking in the sounds that I hadn't heard in so long. Birds, rustling leaves and eternal summer. The Pagua from my memories.
The figure landed at the edge of the pit and waited for me to land before turning around and removing the hood that covered its face.
It was Astra.
With wings. I had no idea she had survived the war.
My first impulse was to run and hug her, but the coldness with which Astra looked at me drew me to a halt.
"Was that true?" said Astra.
"What?"
"What you said back there. Is it true?"
"Are you joking? Of course it's true. You know I would have never betrayed Solano," I said. This was not the kind of reaction I had been expecting from someone like Astra. She had been Solano's closest general during the war, probably the only one he had respected.
"No. The part about Eu."
"Do you really believe I would side with that monster? He murdered Solano," I said.
"Did he?" said Astra, crossing her arms. "The official Balian version of the events were quite different. They said you delivered Solano's body to them. That the causes of his death were unknown."
"And you believed them?"
"I don't believe you murdered him. You weren't that heartless. But I don't put it past you to use his death to escape Pagua after all was lost," said Astra.
"I dug Solano's grave with my hands," I said, holding my hands up. I felt an urge to punch Astra.
"After pleading for my life. You don't know the shit I've been through these past years. I spent most of the first two years wishing I hadn't said anything, wishing they had killed me too."
"Oh, you've had it hard? Was the cold in Balia not agreeable? Were your accommodations not up to standard? Or did you miss having someone to manipulate?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yelled. "Have you forgotten everything I did during the war?"
"How could I? You're the reason I was not with Solano that day. I was a general, yet he kept listening to you. A whiny, pampered Utanian who shouldn't have been here in the first place."
"So that's your problem with me after all this time? Would you rather be lying in a mass grave? Because I wouldn't have dug your grave," I said, and raised my wings. "Is this why you rescued me? To vent out the same insecurities you've had for a decade?"
"Insecurities? I know what I was worth to President Solano. What I never understood was what worth you had for him. The hold you had on him, I just don't get it. Were you so good in bed?"
I had enough. I shot through the air and threw Astra to the ground. Astra fell on the wings on her back and yelled out in pain. "I was not his whore!" I yelled. As Astra scrambled to get up, I kicked her on the chest and threw her back again. "If it weren't for me he would have executed half of the Paguan army. Why do you think I told him to keep moving? To keep running? Whenever we stopped he retreated into his head and his paranoia returned. He thought everyone plotted to kill him, that we were losing the war because everyone had turned on him. Do you think he would have spared you? You were the only general alive at the time," I said.
Astra sat up on the ground and stared back at me, heaving. She tried to get up but sat back down.
"And how do you have wings?" I said, after we had stared at each other for a while.
"I built them for her," said someone from above. I hadn't heard him hovering above us.
It was Phillas, the geneticist that came with me and Solano to Pagua fourteen years ago. He had remained hidden throughout the war. Towards the end, we had no time or resources to track any of the original crew down. Olys, the architect, had left before the war. Edilia had surrendered to the Balians when they captured Mamay, the city where she was stationed. I didn't remember the names of the rest of them.
He landed beside Astra and pulled her up. Astra removed the hood and cape that covered her and Phillas did something on her back that I couldn't see. The wings detached and he placed them on the ground. He spread his wings and shook them, sprinkling water over Astra and the ground. I hadn't seen an Utanian in so long that I had forgotten how fierce we looked with our wings spread. Phillas' were bronze, and still sharp unlike mine.
"They're like your hand, but removable," said Phillas, as I watched them. Astra thanked Phillas and arched her back, stretching.
"Phillas. What happened to you?" I said.
"A lot has happened to me since we left Utania," said Phillas. "But this is not the place to discuss that."
"I am sorry, Alysia. I got carried away. I see that you're still as volatile as you were before you left," said Astra, as she rubbed her chest in the place where I had kicked her. "It's just that you've been away for so long and the general belief around here is that you helped the Balians. I know what you did for us, and I thank you."
"What I'd like to know," said Phillas, "is how you ended up back here."
"I was scout- eh, near Cazú when I saw a royal Balian ship land. It was Count Eu, taking provisions. She ran out of the ship and I requested some help from the people to grab her," said Astra.
"How did you convince them to help you? They'll have a hard time dealing with the Balians now," said Phillas.
"I told them we would execute her. We didn't have much time. She started blabbering in Garai and-"
"I'm still here, you know?" I said, interrupting Astra.
Did everyone really believe I had sided with the Balians after all the time I spent here? I was so happy to fly that I didn't even question why someone had rescued me.
"We can continue this conversation elsewhere. They'll be looking for you, Alysia. And we have a lot of catching up to do," said Phillas. He picked the wings up from the ground and turned, heading towards the pit. Astra followed him. On her back there were two holes where the wings had just been. When they realized I hadn't moved, they stopped and Phillas turned around. "If you don't come we will have to execute you. I recommend you follow us," he said, and smiled.
Toro.
I had forgotten about him. It was also the first time in years that he wasn't behind me. As I followed Phillas and Astra, I wondered if he had survived the arrows. I knew I should've felt elated to be free of him, but I wasn't. I felt the familiar dread of loneliness creeping up on me. He had been the only constant companion I've had for four years, even if he had been lying about me all that time. Toro would have to face Count Eu's wrath for releasing me, and I pitied him.
But maybe Count Eu had bled to death.
One could only hope.