He f*cking kissed me in front of everyone! He f*cking did and I didn't even do anything about it!!!
My eyes may be closed right now but I can feel a cold stare from afar.
I only opened my eyes when he let go of my lips. I had to catch my breath as he looks at the crowd without releasing my waist.
"I'm not USING her," he said emphatically, "I'm not that kind of person." It made the crowd unable to look at him. I saw Lu Ho walk away, "I've answered that question so please, excuse us."
After saying those, he walked towards the backstage. He was still holding in so I had no choice but to follow him.
I couldn't look at him when we were finally there and when he had let go of me. I know that my cheeks were still red. My heart was still beating so fast.
"So where are you going to stay after this?" He asked without looking at me.
"As if I have anywhere else to go," I don't know why I had to say it that way. My annoyance seemed to show.
"AH, right, I'm sorry," he said that made me look at him
"Sorry for what?" I asked. "For not thinking or for kissing me out there?"
"Why do you sound like that?" his forehead creased.
I just sighed to calm myself.
"Its... It's nothing." I said.
"Here's the key to my house," he handed me a key, "just tell the driver to drive you there. I still have something to do here."
"Okay," I said then he walked away.
I felt something I shouldn't feel as I walk. I felt like something was broken inside me. I don't even know why I'm feeling this way. It's not like we're in any kind of relationship. We barely even know each other. We just met yesterday but why do we fight like a couple. And why do I feel this way?
I hate myself for feeling this way. Why? Because I'm feeling for someone who doesn't even know my worth. For someone who's willing to use an innocent woman just to make a play. Just to upgrade his fame. Just to show everyone that he had finally moved on. He's knowing that without even thinking how I would feel.
He's so obvious but he keeps denying it. Denying it won't change anything. Denying it would only cause greater pain for him and for the people around him.
I told the driver to bring me to Kris's place. Maybe he saw my puffy eyes that's why he didn't say anything. Even after we arrived. I just sat down on his sofa upon arriving. I didn't want to roam around his house without his permission. After all, it's still his house.
After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, I felt drowsy and sleepy. I layed down on the sofa and drove myself to sleep by closing my eyes for a long time. But I shouldn't sleep for a long time. I should wake up before Kris arrive.
AFTER A FEW HOURS.....
I was stunned when I felt myself floating. Well, not totally floating. I can feel that my head is leaning on something. I slowly opened my eyes. It was blurry at first but it slowly became more clear. There I saw the side view of Kris's face. After looking at his face, I looked down. He's currently walking towards a place I don't know.
"You're awake?" I returned my gaze to him.
"Mmmm," I moaned and nodded.
He smiled while still walking.
"Where are we...?"
"To your room," he cut me off.
"My room?" I asked with a confused look.
"Uhmhmm," he nodded and brought his smile back again.
My right hand was currently hanging onto the back of his neck while he is carrying me . So, It's normal that my face is near his. But what's not normal is what I'm feeling. I could hear the sound of my racing heart beat.
'Why am I like this when you're near?'
He's the only person who can make me feel this way. I feel shy and nervous at the same time when he's near me. I can't stand his stares. I can't even look at his eyes for a long time specially when our eyes meet. When he smile, I always think of it as a sweet and genuine smile even though I'm not sure if it really is genuine.
When I'm with other people, I feel nervous cause no one knows me. Just like earlier at the conference, I felt unsafe. No one knows what they would do to me but when he's here. When he's near me, I feel safe. I feel like no one can hurt me because he's here. He's here to protect me and give shelter when my heart is soaking wet under the rain.
'Is it love?'
The heat I feel in my cheeks. My response to his kiss earlier. I closed my eyes before he kissed me, it's as if I'm waiting for it. The fast beat of my heart. The loud sound coming from it. The weakness I feel when it happens.
If those are the signs of falling in love. Then am I really in that stage right now? This early? With this man? The man I barely know? The man who's obviously using me? The man I met yesterday?
I looked at his face. His long lashes, his sharp nose, his pitch black eyes, his triangular shaped brows, his visible jaw line, his heart shaped rosy lips.
Why does everything about him looks so perfect to me? Why do I feel contented that he's around me? Am I really in love with him? If it really is, then he, Kris Chen of the other world is my first love.
If he really is, can I handle it? Can I sacrifice my world and life, in exchange of my love for him.