Chereads / Magia fidelis / Chapter 59 - 59 - test 4

Chapter 59 - 59 - test 4

*(Garion)

For my entire life, I've pretty much avoided everyone. Did it stem from a trauma? When did it start? I suppose it was the first year of middle school. It was the typical humiliation set up that I thought would only show up in fiction. I suppose the most shocking part was that they were my closest friend. For more than 6 years, we've been together and gone through elementary school together. She easily threw it all away.

Tanemura Hikari, her given name meant light, and I believed she was my light for a bit. Maybe I had believed too much, jumped to conclusions and thought something was there when there wasn't. There were many times when I had confided my feelings in her, trusted her, had fun being with her. I truly thought she was the one friend I would stay with forever. These were exactly the thoughts of a child, now that I think about it, it looks very ridiculous.

When I tell her about my secrets she seemed uncomfortable, when I bother her with my homework she seemed averse to helping me out. Have I perhaps been disturbing her this whole time? Was one of many thoughts appearing in my head when I reflected. I went through my memories, trying to dig up some reason that she would so boldly humiliate me for. Did I do something to make her mad? What did I do wrong? I always thought that she would come around one day to apologise. Nothing happened, it went on for 2 years and we lost contact in highschool. More like I willingly cut it off.

In any case, it was stupid right? I wasn't about to reenact some loser protagonist from some manga. No, I would obviously fight back. From stealing and vandalising to stripping and dousing. From destroying property to physical fighting. We had been friends for so long, I knew as much of her secrets as she did of mine, why the hell should I just let her do whatever she wanted?

She would spit her venomous words and I would spit back. This conflict gain us some supporters and more people joined in before long. But I've learned my lesson not to get close to anyone, I kept everyone at a convenient distance. Certain relationships didn't need words, certain people need different things. No matter what, I figured that I would be able to find those things and get people on my side. Then I also managed to use it to my advantage and also take things away from people.

There was also the pity tactic. To pretend to be weak and fragile, it easily gets the crowd on one's side. Even if no one says it, they would resent the winning faction. Then when they least expect it, we could also do shockingly bold actions. When one has enough "friends" helping them out, one could unexpectedly gather a large amount of chemicals. It would be too obvious to douse a person in chemicals, but their property don't share the same immunity their human rights do. We could also get people to scout out their houses for cameras and vandalise their front yard.

I almost felt bad when a couple of classmates had decided to move away. Then when I remember Hikari's face, all the guilt washes away into unadulterated resentment. There was no going back from here on out, I certainly adopted a nasty personality and became a yankee of sorts. Though my influence only extended over my own classroom, rumours easily spread across the level. It was odd to see some people make way when walking to my classroom. It was weird, but it was honestly good for my sanity that some people didn't believe or hadn't heard of the rumours.

I ultimately gave up on making friends, my relations had devolved into something chaotic and meaningless. So I'd rather live a quiet and normal school life, the way I intended on living before Hikari became an unpleasant person. It was halfway through the second year when her so called allies moved away. Her group slowly crumbled from the inside and split off to live normal lives. When one person was seen to have been left alone by my group, more of them quickly left their little group. Until it was down to 3 of them.

As the group with larger numbers, I toned down all our plans that actively harmed their student life. There was the occasional vandalising of their front door, but that was it. We had won as they seemed to have given up. I had walked by her a few times in the hallway, and she seemed to look away everytime. Her 2 friends stuck to her like a glue, and they would always be together.

It was the end of the second year, and even vandalism was getting boring. Perhaps it was finally time to put all of that violence behind. Despite being amateurs at it, my group had won. I used whatever tactics and methods at my disposal to hurt her feelings as much as possible. Though I had to actively get the others to calm down, most of them saw the point and went back to their usual lives.

With both groups having stopped all conflict, Hikari did what I most didn't want her to do. I had given up on our friendship and placed everything behind. That was how I got over my own stump so quickly, threw away my sadness so quickly to retaliate. It was how I could focus so much of my life on damaging hers. So why... Why did she bother to do it now of all times... After 2 years... To apologise...

I was jealous. I was so deeply envious of her friends. Perhaps she learned how valuable her relationships were through the conflict, that she could comfortably be together with her new friends all she wanted. That she treasured and paid attention to them. If only I met her a little later, perhaps I could have such a good time with her too. But I know, just from her gaze alone. No.., from how her gaze avoided mine as if to not look at an ugly monster. It could never be the same.

Was it a mistake? Could I have gone too far? I just didn't want to suffer anymore. In the end, I was the one that escalated and turned a lot of people against her, was I not? I told whoever that was still following me that their job was done. There was no more reason to continue this. It was sweet I suppose, that a couple regarded me as a great leader or a good friend. When I technically dragged them into the conflict, it was my duty to make sure they were safe, but they regarded it as good will. Maybe there was some good will left, it was not like I was originally a malicious person. But the change was done.

I couldn't believe it, but I had to. That while Hikari could so easily make new friends and move on, I was stuck in the past. My distrust was evidence of that. So for the third year, I adopted the loner identity. My eyes went a little bad from all the hard studying and my wild look had completely transformed into a plain looking girl. I was still too lazy to braid my black hair, so I left it in a neat little pony tail. I slowly returned to a relax student life, even if the rumours continue to circulate. There was one guy that was foolish enough to challenge me, but a simple slap did the trick. He started calling me Onee-sama and the rumours got weirder, so I was glad that I was rid of him in highschool.

The illusion was incomplete. Even though it wiped my memories, some remnants of the present still seeped through. It seemed my worst memory was when Hikari decided to betray me. Unlike the me of back then, I am much less meek. My will is more resolute and my head is clearer. I punched her lights out and the illusion ended. Then I rained down the icicles on the pack of demon panthers. Let's just say that there was more ice than there were monster flesh on the surroundings afterwards.

***(Kenzi)

The sky was filled with black. The Great Disaster that took my best friend and my home. The stench of blood filled the air, it was much thicker than any humid day filled with water. I have a vague sense that I was forgetting something, but it was nothing of importance before the sight before my eyes. Large tendrils the size of buildings had flooded the streets and wrecked countless homes. Small bits and large bits of debris fall from the sky equally, raining down from the flailing tendrils. An absurd amount of destruction rained down over the city.

To anyone there, it was obviously the end of the world. Would it stop? Who knows when it would ever stop? If it did, would there be anyone left behind by then? I ran and ran from the cracks spreading through the ground, watched as passerbys get swept from their feet to be crushed beyond recognition or flung with no hope of coming back. The sound of concrete crumbling and car frames getting crushed was eerily close. It was as if I was chases by a large monster. There was pretty much nowhere to run to, but if I wanted to live I needed to be moving. So I ran and ran, no matter how despairing the path in front of me was, no matter how unstable or dangerous.

As if by a miracle, I met up with my friend who ran from another direction. I've almost been hit by a vehicle around 20 times, so it seemed like my luck had finally turned around in life. I managed to meet my best friend Mika in this horrible disaster. After a minute of running, the ground began to rise under us. From my peripheral vision, I could see her dig something out of her pockets before handing it to me forcefully. From a third direction, a third person had suddenly showed up as if by magic.

Mika saw that too and pushed whatever she took out into my palms, then with that same momentum she pushed my body off the block of road we were standing on. The magical girl caught me as I was falling, we were both facing Mika as she got crushed. A tendril had rushed out from the ground we were standing on, blocking our view and causing Mika to fall towards her back at the same time. The magical girl tried to punch through the tendril, but it had already landed on the falling Mika in an instant. Her punch made a small dent on the tendril, which otherwise was still moving, as if to say we couldn't have done anything even if we had time.

I could feel my tears streaming down my cheeks, they were warm. It made me miss Mika's warmth. The illusion ended, purple fog rushed over my field of view before dissipating again. Large purple felines walked around, their claws large and wide with a circular base and a pointed protrusion in the front. Their purple fur looked surreal as they didn't blend into the golden yellow desert in any way. I could feel some parts of my body that hurt a little and what seemed to be a bite mark around my neck.

Even if I could not stop the tears in my eyes, I need to live on. For both Mika and myself. So I fought with everything I had. My vision is blurred, but I could still see patches of purple moving around. Some of them dodge my punches, some made contact. I carved out holes in their flesh with my fist. A quick swing from the right, a left kick to decapitate. Swift footwork to balance for my right kick. The final demon panther stared blankly, as if accepting its death. For a second it looked like these monsters were intelligent. There was a small pang of guilt, but I had to finish what I started. I wiped out the whole pack, for bringing up such nasty memories. Even if they evolved to use such a terrible skill for survival, I couldn't care less. I couldn't afford to.

It was drilled into my instincts over and over. Training in administration territory and education in sanctuarian territory. They emphasised over and over, self preservation over everything else. It was why the movements we practiced were more for offensive stances than for self defense. We were prepared to kill. Not emotionally but physically.

I guess this was the end of my test. I wonder how the others did. After something as mentally taxing as this, I'm curious about their reactions.