*
"... Why did you come here. Surely you wouldn't out of your way in a busy schedule..."
"... You could say the moment you killed Ray, there were many eyes on you.
My work is worthless anyway if my country vanishes. All the dumb petitions and issues flooding my desk... It'd be better to send a petition myself to the central government for an administrative department. "(Kanou)
"... So, what exactly is a 'Stick' ? "
"A Stick is a unique magical item. Unlike those mass produced from public knowledge of magic, Sticks are items that cannot be reproduced. "(Kanou)
"Cannot be reproduced..." (Myuu)
As if having realised something important, her eyelids had widened, causing her to stare blankly at Kanou. Her thoughts seemed to be racing to somewhere, likely knowing something that I don't.
"Sorry, but what does that mean?"
Myuu turns her head to face towards me. Still looking worried, she takes a glance at Kanou before proceeding to tell me. Turning my body to face her, she began her explanation with a deep breath.
" Most probably, it means they are powerful. Incomprehensibly powerful, if we are unable to replicate it, it either meant that the technique was too advance hence having a powerful effect, or that it was packed with so much magical particles it would cost a country to recreate. "
" Correct. Some people even confuse them with bombs. Unlike bombs, Sticks serve certain purposes like a [skill] would. Sticks are just their common name, it would be more accurate to call them 'Artifacts'. But that's another story. "(Kanou)
"So, you're saying we can find one somewhere and become stronger than we are now?"
"... What? No! Why would I know of something so convenient? If anything I would take it for myself. I already said it didn't I? It's a warning. Just because you became a fully fledged magical girl, didn't mean that you needed to throw your life away. See you. "(Kanou)
" So at least one of our enemies have a 'Stick', I guess we need to sit this out. "
"... Kaorin, have you forgotten? We're magical girls... Eventually when they overpower our own army, what do you think will happen to us?" (Myuu)
Her worry was visible, her raised eyebrows and slight pout pulling all my attention. Her leg causing a soft pitter patter sound to arise from the ground, she takes a half step forward as if trying to pressure an answer out of me. I stare right back, my back gradually straightening as I process her words. They were multiple ways to this, it wasn't such a clear way forward. But one thing was for sure, my approach was dependant on my goal.
In the end, for whose sake am I fighting for? I've already declared way back when highschool had started, that I would move on from my past and forge a future I don't regret. Is it really so simple to consider people's feelings like this? Of course not, no matter how I went about it my answer would lean towards one of our preferences. In the end, one of us has to sacrifice our opinion. Between running away or fighting.
It was clear that she wanted to fight. For what reason, I couldn't think of anything. Oh wait, there was one... Correction, she had to fight. She was still taking care of her mother after all, she would naturally want to protect her. Then our only option left was to fight and hope the damage doesn't reach so deep into the labyrinth. Naturally, it wouldn't be so easy.
A day later, a devastating tremor brought down impact on the labyrinth, forcing everything to tremble in its wake. A soothing quiet permeated the place just moments before, as most magical girls were away from their homes when it happened. Whether it was because of a situation that arose, or if the war itself forced them to change locations at work, the residential sector breathed its last under the violent disaster.
Without any screams nor any cries, their lives had been snuffed out under the cover of the moon. Where the light could not reach, the stench of blood permeates potently like a deadly poison no one could avoid. Myuu was strong, so naturally she would be okay even if the ceiling of the labyrinth decided to collapse on her. That didn't apply on non-magical girls, her mother...
It had been a few hours since, my nap relieved what little fatigue I had gained from my shift, my vision still groggy and uncomfortable. But even through my unsteady and unclarified vision, her expression was most visible amongst everything else in the light. Myuu was always incredibly expressive, she could walk through any amount of pressure and come out with a smile. That was why when I first met her, her title was 'Playful Myuu'. It was due to her ability to express her emotions freely, something many of us took for granted.
Even now, she was putting her feelings on full display. It was just that this time, they weren't happiness. Rather... They were grief... Madness, frustration, melancholy, regret, shame, pain. Multitudes of emotions flashed past her face, but one emotion will always come out on top as the one with the deepest impression on the person. It was a sense of loss... There was no more filling back up that hole. There was nothing left to fill up that hole. Kaorin was undoubtedly a secondary stop measure, a coping mechanism to deal with the unfairness.
Even if everyone was making friends with each other to run from something, that doesn't make them any less of great friends. But what then? So what if they were friends? Her mother was irreplaceable, always kind to her and always so...
Kaorin herself can understand really well just by seeing Myuu's face under the light. No matter how much Myuu faces down and hides her face, no... Because Myuu is hiding her face in the first place, it was all the more clear. Even as Kaorin stands in front of the griefing Myuu, Myuu could not bare to turn her head to even look at her. Kaorin could do nothing to fill the wide void that opened up in Myuu's heart. She was not even sure now if an apology would be good or not for the situation. If Myuu would snap at her or start breaking down. One could say Myuu already broke.
There was magic in place that prevented such disasters, even more so after the attack by the Rising Knight order almost a year ago. The only way this could happen was an attack by another magical girl. A traitor was either in their midst, or the enemy forces have already arrived near. But then they should have been intercepted, and a warning system would sound out. The enemies were far more cunning, already locating the labyrinth before we even found them. We started tracking their movements a month ago, but found nothing since then. We've been manipulated.
It was dangerous now more than ever, I decided to stay with Myuu as she sat next to the rubble that was her house. As magical girls, our sense had been enhanced and that included our sense of smell, it was clear that there were corpses rotting around. Even so, she didn't seem to notice as she was only focused on her lost. I can't blame her. I also cried myself to sleep in the first few weeks after The Great Disaster. I took in the change for an entire month before adjusting fully.
A sudden moment later, she picked her body back up. Her energetic voice was nowhere to be found. It was more like the tone of a defeated little girl. She faced the ceiling, as if looking at something else. Her voice was mustered with all her effort and no effort at the same time, causing it to become husky and shaking.
"... Hey, do you remember when you asked what my dream was?" (Myuu)
"Yeah. You let it all out that time, so I felt bad if we didn't become friends then."
"... Huh, so you were kind back then as well... I've lost that dream. I c-couldn't protect what was most important t-to me. Tell me, what should I do now that everything is... is..... gone? "(Myuu)
"... That is something only you can decide.
Nowadays even if people wonder about looking for a so called 'grand' meaning of life, they don't find anything. They are looking for something that's not there at all.
If what you are looking for is a reason to live... In other words the meaning of your life, I have the answer in my head. I had to deal with something similar after all, and I was forced to discover it. "
She finally turned to peer at my face, and for the first time in my life, I thought she was ugly. Her facial muscles had contorted in the most hideous way possible, forming new wrinkles and lines that were other wise not there, and stretching muscles not meant to be stretched. Her bottom eyelids had leaked plenty of tears, snot flowing out of her nose periodically. It looked like she had form an extra pair of eyelids as her eager face stared right back at me.
"... You will be disappointed with the answer."
"Just hurry up and tell me!" (Myuu)
"... It's not that beautiful you know? I'd say that you would just be right where you are right now. Your position won't change a bit until your mind has recovered."
"!??! JUST HURRY UP AND TELL ME!!! " (Myuu)
Her breathing had become erratic and her gait trembling under her own fervour. She was so quiet earlier, where did she get all this energy from? It must be because her feelings were especially strong. Perhaps I've dulled myself a little, even I can't understand this sense of calmness I have...
"Listen carefully. The meaning of life... Is anything you want it to be."
"Huh?!?" (Myuu)
"I told you, your position won't change a bit now that you're hurt. You'll understand when you calm down."
"HUH?!?!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" (Myuu)
Under the pressure of her fury, even her own emotions began to break down. More tears began to flow as her face became more normal again. She was desperate for a solution to the problem. Did she seriously have that much faith in me? I can't bring back the dead you know.... In the end, what she made of that knowledge I gave is up to her. I've come to terms with my own lost, there was no other way to move forward. In a tiny way, Myuu had it better as she has no urgent need to survive. Her needs are provided in the labyrinth. But even so, it does not make her feelings any less real.
Why I had come to such a conclusion was simple. Man came up with words, man came up with logical reason. To fall back onto emotions and irrationality is the hallmark if a beast, not a man. In that case, we can narrow it down to this, 'what is the meaning of a human's life?'. It was whatever you wanted it to be, often times people would say that it was following their dream, or living their dreams. That would be the most common answer a person can give, but not everyone has the same dream. So why is 'the meaning of life' so volatile and vulnerable to change? Why is it different for everyone?
It was because it was made up. It was subjective, thus it was subjective to change between people. In the end, everyone forms their own meaning, everyone gives their own lives a different meaning. Meaning is given by man and lived by man. Everyone decides their own reason to live. So it could be whatever one wants it to be. It was a light hearted take, maybe one that only a child could form. Maybe the fact that I avoided school for a year stunted the growth of my maturity. But thanks the Myuu and everyone, I arrived at where I was now.
"... If that is so, maybe I should just bring her back to life. [Vigour of damned na-" (Myuu)
*PAH! *
She held her red swollen cheek, visibly shakened by it. I was not the pain or the redness of her cheek that alarmed her, it was the person doing the slap. Kaorin.
" I'm sorry... No, I'm not sorry. You simply don't substitute your will to live with a cheap copy.
She's dead Myuu... , if you revive your mother it would be a completely different personality. She may even regress into a baby in an old dying body...
I know your skill doesn't turn back time, it just gives life. She's not coming back ever again... "
" Ah... Ahhh. Ahhhh. AhHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! "(Myuu)
I gave her a tight hug as she let her feelings loose. I didn't know what else to do but to rush in and hug her face to my chest. Perhaps she had been fighting it this whole time and trying to hold it in. Even if she had a small lapse in judgement, I believed in her as a person. She was always hardworking and trying to support me, perhaps this was my turn.