"Beil," she said and he looked up at the strange tone in her voice. He watched her expression as it shifted from annoyed to confused, to realization, and finally a look of determination settled on her face. Had he lips they would have twitched up involuntarily into a grin.
"Yes?"
"You once said that you become more powerful and dangerous if you have something precious to protect, but still, why do you choose to allow them to treat you that way? Is that not counterproductive? How can you protect anything you care for if you don't protect yourself first?"
Beil's eyes went wide for a moment before he walked closer. There was a very troubling lack of expression on his face now as he approached her and she actually found herself taking a step back. He was not human anymore after all, and hadn't been, and her old self was demanding retreat in the back of her mind, but her new self held strong. It was Beil, he wouldn't do anything to hurt her.
After a second he was practically up against her. She could smell the turkey on his breath, see the stitching in his tie, and she realized right then that he was almost a foot taller than her human self, a characteristic she had somehow missed while she was a snake because he was always taller.
As they stood there Beil reached up and lifted her chin with his tallon. He had done this once before, back when her spirit core was unstable and her energy pathways had yet to merge, to get her to focus on herself. This time felt different, and her focus was entirely on him.
"I have only known you for a month, but every day, every moment, has been precious, and that is plenty enough for me to protect," he said so softly that only she could hear, with an intense focus in his eyes that were such a rich shade of jade it was like two perfectly spherical gemstones smoothed after many years in a river, and she couldn't quite breathe.
Their faces were only inches apart and Nova was gripping her new shirt so tightly her knuckles turned as white as the cloth. Just when she felt like she was reaching a breaking point and she squeezed her eyes shut, he released her and stepped back. When she opened her eyes there was a look of shock on his face before he cleared his throat and continued walking down the street with quicker than normal movements of an almost mechanical nature.
Nova didn't move at all, other than panting as quietly as she could. Her heart was pounding, her cheeks were flushed, and she had such a stupefied look on her face that Yokai and Ayakashi who passed by gave her a glance or two before moving on.
What the heck was that? Did he like her? Wait a minute, of course he did, he wouldn't have done so much for her if he wasn't fond of her... but to what extent?
And what the hell was she supposed to do if she ever learned that information?
Well for starters, he was getting further away as she was rooted to the spot. Following after him, she watched as his hair was being picked up by the air flow from his quick movement, the black color flowing with browns as the twilight caught it.
Well then what was it that he like about her? Her weird ass color changing eyes? They weren't even genuinely hers, they too were a gift from... no, stop it, not opening that can of worms right now...
Was he attracted to her phisically? Her body was nice and all but she wasn't really above average, it wasn't voluptuous, or really all that feminine. Did he like androgynous? Was it her face, then?
Sighing and holding her hand over her eyes in disappointment with herself for thinking with such close minded vanity, Nova shifted gears. If not her body, was he emotionally into her? She held a bit of panic that rose down in her stomach and kept walking absent-mindedly. This might not work anyway.
Sure, she liked him for what she had learned about him so far, and his easy going personality, but if he liked her to a greater extent for who she was in return it was going to get complicated. She didn't feel ready to fully invest in anything with him yet, if at all. They hadn't known each other for very long, each only having learned fragments of the others' past, and if she was being honest with herself, her immediate protective instincts of him both confused and surprised her.
Then again, it didn't take him long to try and help her out once he realized she needed her memories back, or when she was in pain and brand new to this world, and he was extremely generous with his funds even though it had taken him the equivalent of her old lifetime to aquire so much, and he simply spent it on her without question just to get her a few outfits? Granted they were amazing, but she still felt pretty guilty about just how much they costed him and vowed to spoil him in the future.
On that note, what else had she done for him? Almost started a fight with his Nana, made him worry if she was casually dying in front of him, and he had been carrying her around because she was not used to the wings she had grown in a manner that had been extremely painful to bare and probably painful to watch in turn. This wasn't some Florence Nightingale effect because he had taken care of her, was it? But then... what about how she felt? And if she stopped needing his help and developed her own independence, would he just... leave her behind?
The people she had seen watching them interact had looked at her like 'what does she see in him', but she felt like it was the complete other way around. It's not like she was a particularly good person, she just felt the need to fight injustices and keep the innocent out of unnecessary stress, mostly because she wanted to wash the injustice from her past by helping others. It was selfish kindness, and she felt like everything she did that was nice was all an act to make up for reciprocating being bullied.
She felt very young at the moment, ignorant and unprepared for any real confrontation about herself. Sure she could defend someone she cared about, but if that Lion Yokai had only targeted her with his bad attitude she would have just ignored him and moved on... But she liked Beil.
Any time anything went wrong for him, if someone decided to gatekeep him, target him, ignore his existence, belittle hum, make him feel even a little bit lesser of a person, a knot of anger and strangly bitter sadness would catch in her throat and it would only ease up if she felt the she had done enough for him to feel worthy of basic needs. But what if her "help" was unintentionally causing him harm instead?
She made him think she didn't like him, but the truth was she just wasn't ready to let anyone in yet. It scared her, the possibility of someone genuinely liking her, who enjoyed her company without some sort of ultimatum.
High school was cruel. The one time she tried dating someone he had posted all over social media that he had slept with her immediately after he had paid for their Mexican food, which was not only a lie because she had stopped him from going any further than getting a little too handsy, but also she had been the one to pay for that meal on their one and only date with the money she made selling personal pottery.
Beil... was far too important to her now for her to just jump right in. She didn't know how to treat him when they weren't being casual together, how to act around any romantic instances, what to do if he decided to back out, or even how much of herself she should be comfortable with letting him have. She felt like... if she got her hopes up, the other shoe would drop.
What if she went too fast and he got what he wanted and moved on? Wait no, Beil was too considerate about her boundaries for that kind of move. Nova sighed. She really wasn't ready for the possibility of ruining the dynamic they had already established, overwhelming him with her personal issues.
Slamming face first into a furry wall snapped her out of her mind so fast she cried out in surprise and she cupped her now throbbing face as she backed up.
A giant disembodied head swiveled on its axis to look at her and she bowed in apology. He didn't look all that bothered, but seeing as he couldn't bow back he just grunted in acceptance and bounced away, shaking the ground every time he landed as he went.
After a couple of seconds to gather her barings and rub the ache out of her nose, Nova looked around at entirely unfamiliar surroundings and a feeling of 'oh crap' settled into her. Beil was nowhere to be seen, or smelled, and these streets were unkempt and barely lit. Wait, when had it become night?
She really needed to stop thinking as deeply as she did to the point where time went by without her noticing, seeing as it's gotten her into a rather risky predicament. Or at least she could go into meditation and save time.
Yet again she was slapped in the face with shame, understanding anew just how much she had been relying on him. On top of everything else, he'd also been her guide in this world, and now that he wasn't by her side she was completely lost.
Trying to ignore the gut feeling that years of humanity had instilled in her about being alone in a strange neighborhood at night, Nova held her head up and tried to eninate a 'don't duck with me' energy to ward off idiots from attempting to harass her or something. What she didn't know was that yes, the energy worked for the lesser Yokai, but she was now attractive to more powerful creatures now. She was actually pretty damn lucky that this part of the city was full of what you could call 'average citizens'.
Looking up for a decent vantage point, Nova got the idea to used some of her spirit energy in order to strengthen her body before attempting a jump for the branch of a tree almost six feet above her. Thinking she would fall short and need to adjust, she did not expect to zip right to the top of the damn thing, almost twenty feet up. Spooked by her own capabilities she yelped and scrambled in mid air to latch on to the tip of the highest branch which honestly should have bent dramatically under her weight if not slip through her fingers. Again with the confusing new stuff.
She delicately clung there like a dragonfly, not really even holding onto much, and for reasons untold her feet were easily held by only the leaves. She was beginning to wonder if even clouds could carry her, which was absurd if you think about how they just appear as really thick fog when they touch the ground.
It was a very mixed feeling, both troubling and comfortable, feeling like a balloon that had just enough helium to float in place, but not enough to fly any higher. It kind of felt like a dream she had once.
Just as she was about to get over processing this new development and look around at her surroundings from the tippy top of the tree, her spirit energy dropped below what was needed for standing there and she started to rapidly become heavier, crashing through the canopy as if an elephant had tried to climb a tree.
Before she could really respond she crashed into several branches on the way down, bruising her a bit, and slapped hard onto the ground as a snake, scaring multiple Yokai into screaming and running.
"Ow, dammit. Sorry!"
Many stopped to look at her, realizing she wasn't just a big snake, and a few walked up close.
"Are you okay, miss?"
"Yes, I just feel a little stupid for falling like that," she said and rubbed her now aching head with her tail. She might be getting a pretty sizable goose egg from this, it hurt.
"Oh I'm sorry, dear," the voice said again and Nova finally looked up at the source.
A Yokai with incredibly sharp teeth underneath long hanging lips and a monkey-like body was watching her as she sat up on her coils. That gentle feminine voice did not really suit her appearance, but Nova was beginning to ignore her old doubts and preferences in this world. At least she didn't have much in terms of culture shock. She wondered why.
"I'll be fine, thank you for your concern," she said and looked around. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to have seen an Itsumade with a dark orange bow tie around here, have you?"
"No, darlin', I'm afraid not. Why, did they steal something from you?" It was odd how happy she sounded about the possible misfortune, and the lips on her face actually lifted about halfway up her head. If they'd kept going it would have covered her eyes.
"No, that's not it, he's my friend," Nova said with astonishment, feeling a little uneasy. The lips on the weird creature's face lowered back down and her eyes held a new shadow over them.
"A word of advice, I'd be a little more careful about who you choose to associate yourself with in the future. Itsumade are social pariahs more often than not," she said deeply, and before Nova could register her words and say any sort of grievance, the Yokai walked away from her, as did the rest of them.
Stunned, Nova just made a 'tch' sound which was weird without teeth and thought to herself 'easy for you to say, you smell like blood. I don't want to associate anyone who reaks of death.'