Nova was gripping herself so tightly the muscles under her scales were starting to pinch, but at the moment she couldn't feel it. All she could feel was the smooth, slightly fuzzy beak of her companion and best friend pressing up under her head.
When he didn't say anything in response she tried to nudge him, but that motion made him pull back completely and look her in the eyes with a calculated expression.
"I am happy you are safe, but you scared me. If anything were to happen to you I fear that I would do something drastic to try and keep you safe. I already have," he said with an exasperated and yet slightly playful tone.
Nova swallowed nervously, watching his every motion and expression as if they were the only thing in the world that she needed to focus on. Now that she was this close to him she noticed something new: that it wasn't just his eyes that lifted when he was happy, it was the little corners of his beak where the edge met the rest of the human face. They lifted up just a little bit so that even a foot away from him it wasn't noticeable. That's when she came to realize just how close he was, but she refused to close her eyes this time, not after what it caused before.
Staring at the corners of his beak because she couldn't meet his eyes, Nova fought the intense urge to reach over the small distance between them and press her lips to it.
"But why," was all she could ask, her mind an empty pool of hope, infatuation, and anxiety.
Beil softly huffed through his nostrils and those little creases went up just a bit more, and not only that, his tail snaked around and laid over her as he sat against her. Her body was as tight as a spring.
"I should think you have come to understand the reason by now," he said and her stomach did a flip, "but I wish to hear it from you first before I explain it myself."
Nova met his gaze as her heart pounded. Dreading making a fool of herself but willing to risk what could happen if she were wrong, she bent just an inch closer, and his eyes tracked her as she did so. Not having the confidence that her voice wouldn't shake, she sent him the words with her mind.
'You like me?' Beil's beak fell open for a moment before he closed it. Part of him was jumping for joy in celebration inside, another part was unsure what to do now, especially when she had sent it to sound like a question. He just barely nodded and was surprised when the very tip of her tail jerked with surprise while the rest of her sat so still, as if she had no notice that it had done so. He thought of something then.
"What does this mean for you, if you are willing to share your thoughts, or are you not" he asked a little teasingly, his head tilting to the side like a curious puppy.
Nova's eyes went a little wider at the gesture, and she was having a bit of trouble holding the reigns of her increasing excitement and trying to keep her heartbeat steady, but still she found herself easing against him a bit and chuckled with both mirth and nervous energy.
'I, uh,' she began with her mind, but as she looked at him, her eyes drifting over his grey feathers silvered with the rain, his dark brown beak, his fur tipped snake tail swaying to-and-fro, and his dark green eyes that looked even darker than normal in this weather, like the deep shadows of a thick forest, she mentally shook herself and decided to go back to speaking aloud.
"I... I really like you, too," she began carefully and his eyes lit up. She somehow felt much warmer even with the chilly rain and cold rock under her scales. "I don't know when it started, or what to do about it, but I just--" she trailed off for a second and wished that she could hold something with her human hands, but she was still too low on Spirit Energy to turn into a human at the moment.
Wait that's it.
"Please," she said urgently making him blink, "meet me inside," she said and closed her eyes. After a second the confusion and surprise wore off and it clicked that she had meant her subconscious self, so Beil too did his best to calm down enough and sink into a meditative state.
It took longer than he thought it would, and her easy time going about it meant that she was going to be waiting for a lot longer if he could not hurry himself, so he used the only tactic that had been working lately and allowed himself to fully feel the link between his mind and body, fighting through the natural resistance his core and soul usually had in order to center himself and relax.
Thankfully, only a few more seconds passed and he was able to feel that familiar fall into his mind.
Opening his eyes to his core that was still a little empty, and scoffing at his own hypocrisy, Beil whipped around to leave for Nova's mindscape before she thought about trying to come here first, especially since he still had the walls erected to keep her out.
They are going to stay up if she even thought about using her Spirit Energy to heal what was left of his wounds, she was still too low herself to be giving away that much energy.
Wait, hold on... no. Being stubborn was a mistake he thought he had considered unnecessary anymore. What he needed was for her to realize just how serious the situation had been, and this would be the perfect opportunity to set things straight before they could think about... matters of the heart.
Besides, if he wasn't willing to share with her his vulnerability, why would she ever be willing to share her own with him? How could she trust him if he hid anything, and how could she understand just how powerful she was becoming or what that meant for her future if he refused to show her his weaknesses?
Reaching up and brushing the red hair from his eyes, Beil, or should he call himself Marcos at the moment, took a deep breath and lowered the walls.
Instantly he sensed a familiar energy signature breach the darkness of his subconscious. She must have already been sitting there waiting for him to be able to enter this quickly. Amusement bubbled inside him as he walked to meet her halfway.
When he looked up and saw the mixture of Nova and Emilia he was taken aback for a moment before a smile bloomed on his face. It was a really good look for her, she looked more like herself somehow.
Similarly, after the initial relief that he had let her in, Nova watched Beil move forward with his human legs and her mind drifted off for a moment before she recollected herself. Those red clouds of hair, that sturdy figure in tight black pants with a billowing white button up collared shirt tucked into them, those black leather shoes that squeaked with every step. He had seriously been an attractive man when he was human, especially that sense of fashion pairing so well with those eyes. When they stopped their approach at about ten feet, she was mildly petrified for a moment before she managed to break the tension in the only thing that she could come up with on such short notice.
"Hey," she said with her hand awkwardly raised in the air to wave at him from the elbow before she could stop herself. She wished that it was easier to maintain her composure, but this felt like being reunited with a crush after summer break.
"Well," he said with a cocked eyebrow, jumping right to it without giving her much of a chance to reel in her thoughts. She felt rather lucky that sharing a mindscape didn't automatically mean broadcasting her thoughts to him, because now she was flip-flopping between feeling exasperated by his cocky behavior and getting excited about what she was wanting to say.
The only thing was, she forgot that she wasn't a snake. Those emotions were written all over her face, and when Beil noticed and took a step closer to her to test the waters, a bit of panic rose to the surface of her mind just like before.
This time, though, she wasn't going anywhere. She steeled herself and took her own rickety step closer to him.
Happy and oddly calm, Beil was patient enough to hold himself back and he let her take the lead.
"Well," she started, looking off to the side to avoid staring at him too long, and that's when she saw his core.
Beil's shoulders fell in disappointment. He had been hoping that she would be too preoccupied with her feelings to notice, but she was a very perceptive person when she wanted to be, it was one of the things that he both enjoyed about and was almost annoyed about her. Almost. Only under these circumstances did it truly bother him.
"Beil," she said, her tone dropping from the airy, flirty sound back into business mode, "why is your core cracked?"
"It, well, uh," he tried coming up with a reasonable explanation without diving too deep into the true struggles he had faced, but it was a fruitless effort. He conceded, knowing he would have to face her justified fretting sooner or later. "It became damaged when I was fighting off our assailants."
"You mentioned them before, but you neglected to let me know just how much they had hurt you, why didn't you," she asked unevenly, tears forming on the corners of her eyes.
Beil's heart hurt worse seeing her cry than any of the phisical pain he had experienced and he swiftly closed the gap between them in two large steps, enclosing her in a tight hug.
Nova hiccuped at the unexpected contact. This was the first time their inner selves had been so close and it drove the negativity aside for a moment of warmth and bashful yearning before reality settled back into place.
"I did not tell you for the same reason I was upset that you had done the same."
"What?"
Beil pulled away and held her shoulders gently in his fingers, looking her carefully in the eyes.
"When you used up the last of your energy, your core was running on fumes for so long that the strain in the recently newly formed fusion of your soul and core nearly snapped it into pieces, which would have resulted in your death."
"You mean you weren't just saying that to scare me? I really almost died again?"
"Yes, my--" Beil swallowed, cutting himself off. He had almost said 'my love' but had caught himself at the last second. Everything had yet to be decided, and now was not the time. Not anymore.
"My core," he started up again, feigning that he had meant to start up a new sentence, and tried ignoring the look on her face, "is not nearly as damaged as yours was before the doctors were able to reconstruct it."
"Well I'm safe now, " she said and reached her hand up. She had seen his eyes, had read between the lines when he had almost uttered a word of possession towards her. Wherever it was that she got the courage to move forward, she prayed that it wouldn't falter this time. If it really was true that she had almost died again, had almost lost the chance to let him know what was distracting her so much lately, well dammit she was going to bring it into the light now.
"And so are you," she said and placed her hand gently on his cheek. He flinched and the fight he'd been attempting to control himself drained from him. He melted against her touch and his hands slid from the carefully restrained shoulder rest to down her arms, one hand going to the one on his cheek, the other holding her wrist.
Instinct is a powerful shit.
Beil breathed out in defeat when she reclosed the gap and pressed her body up against his.
"I like you, Beil, and well... that means I can become a little irrational when something comes around to give you grief," she said and watched his face shift into one of both strain and desire. He was holding back. She liked that.
At least in here it was easier to read him, what with the lips and all... lips. She wanted to kiss him, but he looked like he wanted to say something.
"Yes, we are safe, but both of us are still unwell, and what is there to stop us from making the same mistakes?"
Though it was a valid point, Nova grew mildly irritated, with the events so far, with herself, and with just how easily he sacrificed himself for her. You know what?
"Don't worry," she said in a soft, sweet voice and leaned in close, "I'll protect you."
He hummed in amusement, and something deeper, and Nova's eyelashes fluttered as he bent closer, tentatively pecking her cheek.
When she didn't retreat he tried again, and she got an idea that she instantly put into effect. Right at the moment when he was about to make contact, she turned her face just enough for him to instead land it on her lips. He panicked for a second when he saw the result, but when he also saw the look of clever success on her face, the blush coating her cheeks, and the desire in her eyes, his restraint, which had already been pulling thinner and thinner like a rubber band, snapped.
Taking in a gasp of air on reflex when she sensed the change, they were suddenly completely wrapped up in a passionate kiss. Nova recovered from the surprise and greedily reciprocated, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he held the small of her back.
They both lost track of time, simply experiencing one another, realizing they needed to breathe and breaking apart for a few seconds only to pull back together like magnets. Finally, one particularly long kiss later, they released eachother and panted for breath, and Nova ended up giggling in euphoria about it all, especially when he continued to give her little kisses on the jaw and neck before she pulled away, signaling that she wanted to look at his face.
Beil, respectful as always, moved his head back so that she could do so, and saw her smile. She was no longer upset, overly alert, or even nervous anymore, and for some reason he held a bit of pride in that fact. He had a lot of hope that this encounter was the reason, and before any of his usual self-doubt could settle back in, Nova very carefully grabbed his face and bent his head over before she kissed his forehead.