Chapter 30 - PLANNING!

DATE?!

Now that's not a word I was expecting to hear in this lifetime. In the best-case scenario, I was expecting my life to be a 90's pop music video, where it'd be a one-night stand at the max, and then remain strangers the next day kind. I mean why would a girl even like me? Well, probably the actual question should be, why am I even dating? Not that I hate it or anything. It's weird, but with Miku around, I feel a lot more composed and calm. It's weird and I can't put this into words. But I'm certain, I want this to go on, even if it's a beautiful lie. Even if it's a hallucination, just for a while. That's truly wrong of me. And yet, I want this. Well, I'm not expecting any cliche happy ending. It's just, even if it's just for a moment, I would like to just be free.

I hate myself. Because of my condition, I can't fully understand this stuff, and always end up being a burden upon others. Up until now, whether it's socializing or anything that involves emotions, I would put the knowledge gained from my past experiences and implement it in those situations, that it almost became second nature to me. But lately, things are not the same. Yuki-nee, Sakura, Rinko-san. I've tried to keep my contact as minimal as I can. Worse of all, I started worrying about them! For a moment, that's it! And even it's for a moment...Why?! When did I become so kind and caring that I could think of other people? These were just some questions that remained in my head. It's not bad to worry about others. That's what makes you human. But, it's just ironic, isn't it? After all, I've put them through...Am I starting to have regrets?

Nope, not at all! If anything, I wish I was a little harsher than acting like a shonen protagonist. Not a little, a lot. Anyway, with that out of the line, now it's time to focus on Miku. She's been waiting patiently for my answer... Well, what do I even do?

"So, a date? As in the one we ate or the one we do as a couple?"

She started pouting with an annoyed look.

"Alright, it's the first one then! Noted!"

She pouted even more. How cute can she get? The cuteness factor is a lie. There's no limit at all! Wait, she's my girlfriend. So, it's okay for me to...

I moved close to Miku, she started to get flustered. I started pulling her cheeks with both my hands. They were soft. Oof! This sensation...

"What are you doing?"

She mumbled something of that sort, and tried to kind of push me away? Hey, make up your mind, though I'd prefer if you just give me the consent to play around with them. Meanwhile, in her struggle, she lost her footing, also pulling me down with her in the process. While she was lost her footing and pulled me, I switched places with her and landed on my back, while she landed on my chest.

"Are you alright?"

"Are you alright!"

While we both were concerned, there's a clear difference in the intensity. And they were close, our lips, faces were very close. There was an odd tension in the atmosphere around us. No one at home, the silence, and just us. But unlike other times, I was hesitating. It was weird. Guess there's a first time for everything.

"Umm..."

I tried to break the silence but Miku didn't respond. A moment later, she just hugged me tight and just planted her face on my chest...

"The second one!"

"Huh?"

Her voice was a tad faint, so I couldn't hear her. Actually, I did. But I wanted to make sure my ears weren't ringing.

"I mean...The one as a couple."

She tightened the grip on my shirt. How shy can you get? I just slowly put my arms on her back and gently caressed her, and patted her back.

"Hmm...If that's what you want, then I guess it wouldn't hurt. Yep, I'm in!"

"Really?!"

The excitement on her face...I chuckled at that sight. It was really amusing. And I...I wanted more. I wanted more of it. Alright, let's not get too greedy. Focus...focus...focus...Like hell, I can!

"Hey, you wanted it so bad huh?"

"Yes! After all..."

She was fidgeting her fingers.

"It's my first date!"

She hid her face. She was totally embarrassed. This side of her, was indeed a truly rare sight, compared to her usual demeanor at school or at places she visits with her colleagues. I guess I'm the only exception. Part of me wanted to be the only exception. But I was soon to reject that thought!

I pulled her hands away from her face, she had her eyes closed. I raised my body and pressed my forehead against hers.

"It's mutual!"

"Huh?!"

This time it was me who had his eyes closed.

"Suprised? Did you want me to be experienced? Or is it..."

"Stop!"

Cough!

"I mean, you're hanging out with girls all the time. So, wasn't it obvious?"

Hooh! She had a good point. And I certainly can't deny that. Hmm...Welp!

"Yeah...Could we not talk about that?"

"Uhm..."

"So, where do you want to go?"

"Where?"

"Yeah! I guess you would have had an idea right?"

"I actually didn't think about it."

That's not how it works, right? I guess I'm reading too much in between the lines.

"Is that right? Then let's go to the..."

"Beach!"

"Beach!"

We were in full sync yet again. I'm starting to cherish this relationship. It's interesting and fun.

We went on with discussing the plan while having lunch, and later some snacks. We were on it till late in the evening before Miku had to go back to her place. That was a bummer, but everything was set. We decided on the details and there was only the logistics that were left to be taken care of. Everything was going well and I was looking forward to that date, to end my week on a high. But I was a fool to even think that. I mean, how could I ever outrun my past?

...

"I will put an end to your suffering. It's the least I can do right, Naofumi?"

Panting.

"Finish him off!"

"Huff Huff..."

Cough!

Heavy breathing...

Blurry vision.

I can't hear anything clearly...

I can see her... Miku!...

So that's how it is. No wonder. I can't blame you...

HEY MIKU,

DO YOU HATE ME?!