(A DREAM FROM THE PAST WITH YOU)
"I will not say goodbye, for I will never leave her alone, I promise her that."
Somewhat like taking a dare, yet an oath I hold and determine to stand, take in front, and never let go. As I look at the Seraphim who temporarily hide her wings to warn and remind me of the sin that I will take and worst for the 2nd time. I look at her with my conviction, not just being the former angel nor the guardian of this forest, but someone who remembers and falls in love with the same mortal of my past that she is.
"Tsk!" smirking as her expression changes into the light of both disagreement and support, Luna added, "What can I say? Shall I do my part now?" somehow giving a promise with her words that's hiding a secret in between.
I smiled, turning my back as I walk away waving my hands asking for a favor. "Take care of her for me, Luna." asking for a promise out of her, I only vaguely hear her reply as the wind blew it gently, whispering to my ears with the words.
"I surely will, for the both of you."
With a smile marking my face, I took the steps inside the den of the devil, where I am the prey it wanted but the hunter I will be. Taking the steps near and the last as the bright full moon shines the path for those who desire for something impossible. I stand face to face with the devil I very much knew who.
"Welcome back to my palace, ex-Guardian Angel, Rafael."
Staring back menacingly towards him, the past that is sealed close in my mind knock back together with the pain that sentence me for hundreds of years inside the garden of my imprisonment. To my mind and heart that is screaming with hate and anger, all that I could do is ease it all in by crumpling my fist, knowing that I will dwell once more to the same sin that brought the same tragedy and a fulfilled wish for both of us.
"Tsk!" smirking, I let myself in and sitting in front of him as the door slowly closes behind.
"Life, power, richness or love, what shall it be or else everything of those, isn't it, Rafael."
Taunting like the expert hunter in the game of tag that we are playing. I second close my eyes firmly as I took a breath in looking back at him with a smile and conviction.
"Everything."
Drawing out the card and the sin of greed, he giggles menacingly as he whispers, "Everything it is. Now let us have the promise."
'Promise.' Someone told me that promises are not to be broken by anyone, but it is to fulfill. For promises are not just words but a person's heart, and feelings that are a gift like confessing.
With the thoughts in mind, Luna's words flooded my mind as my pure conscience is begging for me to stop, look away and even run, for taking such sin for the 2nd time is more than a sinful tragedy I am asking for.
'Loving is the greatest sin any guardian could ever commit. Breaking the law that was set only to guard is the taboo you committed. Now that you sacrifice everything for that lust, you will pay the greatest price. A curse for eternity and your reincarnated loved one for both endlessly, you will suffer forever.'
Yet, picturing her face, her smile and the entirety of her being makes me want to fall deeper and more. For this wish and the heart that beats endlessly, but hopelessly dead alive if she is not with me, is the sin I will gladly have and commit for the 2nd time if, in the end, I will be with her. For, everything that I am, anything in this world that I could ever have, I can and would exchange everything for her, for she is the one I choose to fall in love with.
"Then," somewhat whispering but taunting a cheap warning as a plaything, he asks, "Taking this deal would mean that regret does not exist."
Reminding me of the inevitable, I nodded knowing more than that as I grasp the left choice I can run in this time.
"I have long forgotten about that."
Somehow lying, I can only take every risk now, for in the period of every 365 days a year, 12 months a year, 30 days a month, 24 hours a day, 60 minutes an hour, and 60 seconds per minute, I would still and be forever in-depth hopelessly in love for someone I should only protect. Yet from the road that I took, that day that she was born and the time to where I guard her, is the time that I will never regret, for no matter what happens I will always take the road where I fall in love with,
"MIYU."
Pounding my chest as the pain in my heart is eating me alive, standing in this very place where one of our promises is stored and holding the bottled diary where our times are written, I cannot help but whisper.
'MIYU. FROM NOW ON, YOU ARE MIYU!'
Hearing my voice that echoed from the past, my heart sank in pain as I wanted to jump back in time and hold her close and never let go. But knowing the written words of the deal I took, the inevitable will surely come, as I can do now is cry with the pain from destiny's punishment of letting me forget about her. To our first life and the deal that turns into this spin of chances, our long fifteen years that passed in this life is the paid consequence of the taboo I committed as I could not regret. Now holding her diary's entry in my hand, the words echoed back with pain in each word she wrote.
MARCH 2008
SPRING! THE FIRST DAY THAT THE FLOWERS BLOOM, MY MOST FAVORITE PART OF THE YEAR NOT JUST BECAUSE WINTER COLD HAD ENDED, BUT IT'S THE SAME DAY TO WHERE IN THAT PLACE, I WAS SAVED BY A PRINCE AND THE VERY TIME WHEN I MET, RAFAEL.
Leaning back on the wall as I close my eyes reminiscing that day, I drown myself looking back into the day and the very word and a promise to myself that begun the spin of my life that brought me into hers and entwining our destiny once more.
'YOU WILL SEE, I WILL BE SOMEONE'S HERO, A PRINCESS'S KNIGHT AND HER VERY KING.'
Looking back nostalgia hits me halfway that though I had no one in my life as I woke up in this cruel world, knowing that I am alone and I had nothing nor anyone in my life I can still smile and believe. Just by hiding the tears and sadness deep inside my heart through my smiles and cheerful laugh. I pretend to be happy back then and be someone else just to ease the pain of the truth that I am alone and always end up like that with the lingering feeling attached to it. That I still unknowingly knew from the curse that made me forget.
"Don't worry, I promise to be brave."
I kept on repeating unto myself and to that young me, every time I was not chosen to be adopted and ended up plastering a fake smile to my face cheering those younger ones than me back then, protecting them as I became the orphanage big brother. But in truth, I am an empty vessel with nothing but pretenses. I smile, cry, I long and even had my fair share of greed and wants until I met her.
"Don't worry, just trust me."
Ringing the promise that I took in that young days, I never expected to find and hold the hand of that one fragile girl I met and save in that forest.
To the years and passing days, I am slowly drowning and away from hopelessness as I accept that I will be alone in this world as I will not have the family, I ever dream of having. But then on that one ordinary and busy day in the simple orphanage where I woke up, I saw and meet the most special girl and the girl I found lost and orphaned on that day of the first day of spring.
"Stay away!" I scream, protecting that one fragile little girl I happened to see, and I happened to pass by. To that day that like any other day, I met her, where somewhat being drawn to something I should not, my entire life asks to protect and guard her.
"Stay away, you ugly fat man!"
On that same day that I went for my very first errand, the time and the innocent wanting errand became the very first chance of our destiny. To the vast grass field surrounded by the virgin and thick rain forest where I always run into sneaking in and out from the orphanage, the shortcut I call my secret route, and a kilometer away from the nearest town and the most remote place I found her.
"You stay away from this, you little brat."
As a giant and a dark bearded man yelled, trying to scare the heck out of me. Yet I know from that very moment and the second as I saw her and heard her scream for help, I need to be the hero as what I claim then for a princess, I found in her. For in that very moment, to this small and fragile heart I own, I know that I needed to save her no matter what.
"Stay away!" as I defended, hiding her at my back holding with my left hand a thin branch of a fallen tree I found nearby, holding it like a sword as I am facing a demon in a human disguise.
"You little brat." it pissed him off, looking at me with the death glare that's screaming that he will grill me for good and chop me into mincemeat. "Stay away from this or else."
"Or else what?!" as I stopped him, screaming an ended declaration to my determined heart who only wants is to save her no matter what. "Don't worry, I will save you, no matter what. All you have to do is trust me," I assured her, reaching my right hand out from the back and holding her hand tight. "Mister!" I called out taking his attention directed at me. With a little trick that I'm in doubt to even work, I count to three out loud, and seeing his pissed-off reaction, I threw the twig in his face grabbing my dirty friends inside my small white sack shouting, "Frog!!!"
Hearing him scream from shock, shoving the tiny frogs out from his chest and confirming that he is one big giant of a coward and idiotic baby, I got the chance, telling, "Run!" I screamed without counting and run away, dragging her with me as tight as I could, letting her know that she is safe and will be.
To her shivering and icy hand, the fear that lingers within her somehow sends down to mine. Hearing her faint call, seeing her exhausted breath, and feeling her weak stance, I took the path to where I can directly assure her the word and the promise that came for the word protection. Running away as my sight looked ahead to a familiar tree, I immediately pulled her close, locking her tiny body in an embrace as we hide under a cave-like form of the oak tree roots.
"You, come back here!" as he demands, yet too late to catch us up as we completely lost their track unto us.
"Shh..." I signed in silence, with her nodding, as I held her close, listening to the steps and the voice of the men running in circles looking for us.
"Where is she?"
As I heard an unfamiliar voice approaching with the heavy steps and a low voice near the one who I found a while ago and we run away from.
"I lost her." The other reply as I slowly crawl near and peak with my eyes hiding pretty closely from them below their feet. Staring at the two weird-looking men looking back and forth and side by side looking for us.
"They should be here somewhere, let's split up and look for them again." As the one with the thinner body, white complex, and a business-like dress suggested. Coming into a quick agreement, they both walk fast and away from the opposite direction.
"Yosh!" I whisper, revealing my head peeping around by making sure that they are completely gone. I look back as I slowly reach my hand towards her. "Trust me."
Drawing a simple and innocent smile from her, she slowly took my hand, reaching out. Now running as she almost in many times strips and stumbles down, I took a deep breath-stopping, as I crouch signing her to climb in my back for a piggyback.
"You're tired right?" Smiling as I put out my bravest face I added, "Don't worry, I'll make sure that you wouldn't fall."
Nodding as a reply as her timid and weak self-assured, she slowly climbs in my back as I lock both of my arms in her legs, carrying her as we slowly approach the visible lights of the orphanage.
"Thank you."
Hearing her gentle and cold voice from behind somehow gave me a familiar melody and warmth that I knew and heard way back, but I could not remember when. Though I did not see her face as she tells me those words, her gentle voice and tone gave me so many weird but calming, fleeting waves in exchange by which put a smile on my entire being.
"No problem." Proud to myself as my smile reaches from to my gleeful turn-out heart, I felt her head slowly placing quietly to my nape as her breath calms and finally dozing off to sleep.
The dawn arrives with the moon that completely shows itself with its bright light that guides us out and back to safety in that silent night.
'If time and destiny's chance will not permit us to be together, just remember that the heavens will find a way as the moon will guide us back to each other until that time comes, please let me hear you say as you call out, the name that you and only you gave me.'