(FIREFLIES)
"LET'S do this again. I'm Rafael nice to meet you, and you are?"
"Miyu, my name's Miyu, nice to meet you too, Rafael."
Gazing with the assurance that pictured within her eyes, her innocent and young heart finally smiled as she took my hand, breaking the ice inside and trust someone who was,
"RAFAEL."
Whispering the name that I finally remember now, the identity that I own and the same one she gave brings back everything, of the happiness and sadness, love and pain from all the longing it gave and hope that it faded. Holding the entries of our hidden time capsule diaries, I read the ones she wrote. Flipping the papers backdates the time like a picture-perfect show into my head as everything somewhat flips back from those times.
"Can I still hold on if everything of what I believe for is just a fantasy, to begin with? Will, I'll be able to smile if everything is just a mere lie? Should I continue pretending for something that wasn't true and end up losing everything? To the cursed and sentence guardian that is me, can my loving heart be able to let go of the only person I deeply hold for so long, even if it means forgetting everything that she is, that is me, and at the end is an equivalent for dying?"
'I will be back, I promise you that, Miyu.'
Remembering the promise, I gave her then and the time that I need to leave her. My heart is sinking in grief as I wanted to regret not taking her along with me, take custody as I should have said to let her stay with us. To the day that I finally met my real family after the long years of their search. My mind and heart in the time are torn into a mix of happiness but greater in the sadness of leaving her behind. From the innocent child back then who had no idea that it was the last day that I could see her and all because of the accident that turns our lives apart.
"Tsk!" I smirk taking out the next entry of her written diary as I whisper unto myself. "Too much for claiming that you will never regret, right, Rafael?" I ask myself that question that I should have asked myself then, for now, that I am in this time and position my entire consciousness is asking for me to regret.
Holding the entry unto my hand, it read.
APRIL 2008
I WANTED TO TELL RAFAEL THE TRUTH, THE TRUTH ABOUT EVERYTHING OF MY LIFE, WHO I AM, AND THE SECRET THAT I HAVE BEEN HIDING FOR LONG NOW, FOR IF THERE IS ANYONE IN THE ORPHANAGE, I TRUSTED THE MOST, IT WAS HIM, YET CAN I DO IT? WHAT IF TELLING HIM THE TRUTH WILL KEEP HIM APART FROM ME? CAN SOMEONE WITH A PURE HEART ACCEPT THE DARK PAST OF MY CURSED WEALTHY LIFE?
"I definitely will, Miyu."
Whispering as my tear falls, realizing now that the reason behind her untrusting heart, the wall that she builds inside her heart, and the cold nature that she builds to be a protective wall is all because of the deal I took. The selfishness of loving her too much and the game that spins to the familiar play of Romeo's tragic love for Juliet.
The lies, chances, tragic past, blood sacrifices, and the cruel fate she's been through, even the day to where I first met her, all come and around to the fate that I created. From our in-twine lives from the very beginning, the deal that I took with the Demon, our reincarnated past that played to tick and start as a tragic genre, is all due to my heart's wants.
'The thing that you have lost is someone you cannot let go of, but you have to everything that happened from the very beginning is the choice you curse yourself in-twining it to the greed of wanting the only thing you cannot have. To the cycle of life and death, no matter how hard you try to avoid it, everything will fall to the same path as it used to.'
Hearing Luna's voice as those words came rushing its deep meaning inside my heart that's crushing me in return and now. I did not realize it then, the times where my memories are lost and suppressed, the words that Luna warn me about, the truth that lies from every tragic fate we both run to and even until now, is the consequence of the happiness I wished for. If only I realize everything from the first day that we met again, maybe everything spins differently, no, if only I am not that greedy and want the only thing, I could not have everything is not the way it is. Yet, what is me without her?
'Would you not regret it? Can you stand firm from everything until the very end, Rafael?'
"I will," I answered back, yet from the back of my mind and the torn lingering burden in my heart, the truth does not just relay in that will anymore, but my wants to regret.
Torn into the crazy cycle of not wanting to regret my decision as y entire being wanted her by my side, I still wanted to regret that if I did not take the trump card, he set for me, she is not suffering right now as she did back then. From the consequences and the truth from this life that we both hold on to. The tragic past of our previous life, the day that everything shattered in that accident, the life we never choose but leads us to each other once again, the circle of deaths we both saw and run into from the very beginning is the in-twine fate we share.
'The deal that she took then is the start of this mess, remember that, Rafael.'
Hunted by Luna's words as the truth is the heaviest pain anyone could inflict. I look up at the ceiling as the very beginning picture out in front of me.
"Can I wish? Will my wish come true? Will gave me the only thing I ever wanted?"
Her desire and those wishes, the things that lead her into falling to the sin that the trickster spins in his palm, that if I am not her guardian and someone who fall in love with her that I should not, everything of this did not happen.
Even before everything started, even before I first took the taboo at hand, shed blood for her wish and save her as her guardian, to the full bright moon in that time, the wish that she took became the wish I hold dear. So regretting from everything is never a choice, for the fact that I fell in love with a mortal is my own accord, the genuine and most precious thing I will never let go of, even if everything will turn again repeating our history, but this time I'll make sure that I will win the war.
'Let the game of the theatrical play of 'Romeo and Juliet', begin.'
Snapping out from those thoughts and glimpses of the past, I put her entries back in the bottle as I stash it once more and perfectly as it uses to before. Looking at the bottle diary that I made, I can only sigh as I walk out the door without Elder Peter's insight. Probably went back to the village knowing that I wanted to be alone. The place that once was our playground is slowly shifting back into my eyes. Walking at the pavement and the stone road that serves as our guided back, I found myself in the orphanage doors. Stopping at the ruined all burned down and claim by the forest weeds and green, the building of once the beloved haven of our orphaned days shifted back unto my sight. As the younger me runs stopping to where I am standing now, I smiled weakly, looking at the place as everything flashes back as my gaze picture to the second story floor at the east balcony to where she used to say,
"GOOD MORNING!"
Seeing her smile for another day in this simple orphanage I grew up in was painted with colors since the day she came. Running back and down the stairs, greeting me with her warmest smile as she took a basket of fruits that we harvested earlier that day. I rush on her side, helping her out as I carry it with my hands, as we both head to the storage room where I excitedly replied, nodding and greeting her.
"Good morning, Miyu."
Smiling back at me in the most genuine way that I treasure and adore of her, I am glad that she is not like the timid girl she was then as she finally opens up to everyone and now is comfortable with us. Though the pain and the trauma of her past still linger as she still hides it all from us, my heart is in assurance as I am not thinking of the things that will only bring us sadness, but instead, I am savoring the times that I am with her where she is smiling. And though the truth of her past remains, the tiny wall that still stood was still unbreakable, but I will not be defeated, for I promise myself though it might take longer, I will break that wall.
"Let's go." Reaching her hand to mine as we walk hand in hand with the red pouch bag full of candies at the other.
I smile, writing and picturing every detail like a recorder inside my mind and into my heart, so that I will not forget and no matter what, I will not lose that moment, not now, tomorrow, or the near and far future, and never.
"Hmmm!" I nodded.
As the gentle wind blew and the ray of the sun slowly and beautifully pierce through the small spaces of the rain forest leaves from above to us, I cunningly smile taking a detour as I pull her close, now running deep within the forest and taking her into that place.
"Wait, where are we going?"
Asking as I drag her deep into the tall roots of the oak trees and into the grassy meadows ahead. We pass through the flower fields into the tall cotton flower fields and finally to the near stream of the flowing river from afar, assuring her as I always do with the words.
"Don't worry, just trust me."
Smiling in return as she gave me a nod, we venture further than anyone before. But for me, everything in this forest is like a small house compared to the biggest city. As I already survey and venture every inch and cracks of this land I grew up to, getting lost is far from the truth. Running with her as I drag her even deeper than the places we were in the past, I excitedly smile, knowing that she is the first and only one I will take there. To the seemingly endless field of a forest maze. Her face draws a mesmerize smile as her eyes picture the perfect shot of wonder as we go through like a page out of a fairytale setting.
Running through the flock of birds that flew in a certain pattern as we pass between it. The rosy milk-colored trees from afar, and the painted image of the rainbow from above, we finally stop as we finally arrive at the place, I just discovered a few days ago where the only person I wanted to bring and let alone to know is her. Stopping in front of the two huge trees across each other, which with their branches and leaves forms a gateway of an arc, I pulled her inside as I proudly say.
"Here we are. Welcome to my heavenly garden!"
Taking a breath in for running too long, I smile, pointing to the magical sanctuary I just recently discovered.
The hidden world inside an illusion-like gate created by the two tall trees forming an arch as its branches and leaves pattern perfectly in an ideal palace door overlooking the stream and meadows. The gentle breeze sways the rainbow pattern of the flower fields, crystal clear river that flows calmly, and finally, in the center stands the tallest cherry blossom tree swaying its branches as its flowers are falling for the two of us.
"Beautiful."
Taken in awe as she looks around in amazement, I lay down at the soft grass where she followed, laying next to me. Sheltered under the Sakura tree's shade, taking the sweet fragrance of the surrounding flower. We look up at the vast blue sky
"Surprised?"
Earning a nod as she looks around, she stands up, running in a circular direction around the tree, asking,
"How did you find this place?"
Somehow eager to know, I laugh as I honestly told her a vague answer to were even to myself, I still could not find how.
"Let's just say, my previous life told me."
Pouting as she could not possibly buy that. I nod with a convincing expression that it was all that is in it to her question of how.
"Okay," I gave in, thinking of a convincing answer. "Let's just say my dream told me so."
Taking it still a vague as the first reason, she shoves it off as she nods, taking that 2nd reason.
Though it may seem vague and unclear, the past three days were to my mischievous adventure I found myself deeper than I had ever been before. I found myself lost in this forest, and as I am searching my way out, I stumble upon this place. Somewhat the wind whispers the path for me to take and immediately taken by plain sight, my heart somehow recognizes the place. The place that was somehow taken in a perfect picture strip out from a fairytale book, is somehow the place I once been, I knew, and once treasure.
"What do you think, should we make this place our 2nd sanctuary, but this time will surely be a secret one since only the both of us knew where it is?" proposing as I suggest something out, praying that she would agree. I close my eyes, hearing her steps coming close and near stopping beside me.
To the calm forest, gentle breeze, and perfect sunshine, I slowly open my eyes just to be left in quite a shock as her face draws near mine, placing her lips gently for a long second to my forehead. Taken aback as I immediately stand turning back as I hide my tomato turn face, I quickly fake a cough calming my raised fast beat of a heart only to be stuck again in an utter defeat as I turn back now looking at her smiling, while she closed her eyes sitting quietly down.
"My mom used to tell me that the best way to show someone what you feel is by giving him a peck on the forehead as it means that you are serious in every way and any way that you can."
Taken in silence as this was the first time, she ever shared something about her past. My heart that seconds ago is beating fast now is slowly subsiding as it is replaced with glee and assurance that finally my hard work paid off. For now, she finally let someone in and deeper in her somehow impenetrable wall, as the same wall that I've been trying to break for a long time now is slowly tainted with crack.
"We should."
She agrees, looking back at me with a cheerful smile.
"Let's make this our 2nd sanctuary, our hidden sanctuary that the two of us only and will know, and sealing by it is through a pinky promise, would you, Rafael?"
Reaching her pinky finger high to mine, I nod, cheering from deep within as I held her a promise in a pinky one chanting together.
"No one should break what the other promises, for promises are not meant to be broken, as it is meant to be fulfilled and so to the one who will forget will get a lightning strike as a price to pay." Smiling as we both nods, ending the chant. She immediately stands up, taking a deep breath in as she confesses.
"Though I cannot tell you everything, though I am someone who is hiding a thousand secrets and maybe a lie. I want you to know that you are someone I deeply trust, Rafael. To the one who gave me a name, I want you to call me by my real name."
Held back in silence, taking her request, and the second as I was about to call her out, she stops my lips with a finger as she genuinely smiles back, telling.
"Mikaella del Lionore, that's my real name as you can call me, Mika."
Finally, down in every way and defeated, these ten years old me who should not feel this way as everyone warns me to be too early for everything. My heart, my mind, and every corner of me are screaming the only thing, I am bewitched by the girl that I call from the glimpse of a vivid memory of the past, where I am the king of the land and she was the girl I long, saved in that time and been waiting for.
Riding in a horse with silver hair and she as the maiden that capture my heart, I somehow heard her words at that time.
'Who are you?'
Taken a tool as everything flows and the wind warns the gentle tone, everything changes as I was now in a complete sinking stance to where I could not escape, to the tree that sways back and forth as my eyes lay in hers everything turns to that day.
'Reincarnation, death and rebirth, three chances, three lives spin, three events in time, three hopes and three wishes, that's the script. Take it or leave it. You will be my actors as I am the playwright, from those chances you can choose, but remember I already warn you. In a hundred years, fifty, twenty or best be lucky for, after ten years from now, one of you will remember everything when your destiny once again meets and you realize it. Only if you realize it, but the other will not when that time met, I will only give you twenty, you heard it right twenty years to live. To that time your consequences and named price will tick and will never cease to exist. As the time will start your first chance will begin, to a mortal body in exchange equal by you in appearance and every bit of your existence now, our play will begin. After a hundred days, you both will suffer each other's loss, for months you will meet again as I can finally say, let the game begin.'
The thing that I should have realized early, the only thing that I should have known better, the promises, and the deal, had finally rushed back to mine.
'Tell me, are you a Prince of a royal blood, or perhaps I was just too naïve as you are greater than that, but a King, a ruler, and a true one?'
Flashing everything from the corner of our past life and my cursed identity, the happiness I just felt became the longing for pain for a decade and now.
'I am someone to whom anyone should not be seen, but they gaze upon, a precious thing, but only worth a penny, for someone who trespasses, for a mortal to ask a cruel thing, without thinking, you are now bound between life and death, now, aren't you afraid of me, human girl?'
'As the roster will die, the rabbit will be born. As the night ends, its rays will give its warm, am I wrong, King of the forest, your highness,'
'I'm the King of this forest, protector, and knight, this kingdom's royalty, King Rafael.'
'Standing before his highness, I am Lady Miyu, at your service.'
Someone told me that everything existed by the will and plan of the heavens. That everything from the day that you are born, your heart is entwined for someone that will care, long, and will be your everything, but what if, the pair that the heavens meant is an accident and a tragic fate brought by the Devil with the deal to make and break everything? Will you still forgive the heart that forgot because of the curse?