(PARADISE OF LIGHT AND SHADOW)
"THAT very place is a cradle for demons, the place where no one ever existed as no one dares to go and no one ever come back alive." My mother gasped, uttering the word that she always sticks unto my mind with the horror beyond a warning that gazes her face it was the lesson that I strickly needed to keep.
Holding my hand as she caresses my face, she made me promise, "Promise me one thing, Miyu, do not ever dare to enter that forest."
The words that were pin unto my innocent mind ever since I started wondering and asking about the place no one dared to even talk about, but are cautious as they brand it to be a cursed forest that anyone dares to set a foot will die.
"That place is the lire of demons, the cradle of all evil legends, they all call, My Lady." Our servants would describe, with the exact words I always have each time I ask about it.
I do not know when, why, and how such things and rumors spread. But to my innocence and curiosity, the path not close nor too far from my place is whispering a gentle tone I could not ignore.
Sticking myself to my window sill, sitting as I gaze from afar to that forest they brand that place to be, I wonder as I ask, "Cold, yet not. Quiet, yet full of dreams, just what awaits at the end of that path?"
I often ask myself but did not dare to share with anyone, for if I did, they all will scold me in return, warning the words of how dangerous that path will lead anyone to be. Yet, I could not help it as I marvel at that place, of how peculiar, mysterious, yet, unusual is it, it somehow rings a familiarity unto my life.
"I know nothing, but my heart is knocking something in between, by which I wanted to go and see that place for myself," I ask back, resting my chin on the palm of my hand as I often dream of riding my horse going to that place as I added, "Just what is in that place that something within me is asking for a favor to be lead inside?"
I whisper, taking it all unto myself as each passing day of my guarded life and lonely days, my haven in comfort is to look at my bedrooms window tracing the path unto that place.
"Birds," I utter, asking deep, observing the birds that come and go to that path that somehow isn't bothered or anything at all, by which often comes to me in debate. "If that very place is somewhere a demon hide, should there be animals as beautiful as the canary would dare to enter?" I added, muttering to myself.
Yet, I know that everything from the words that they say, from the tales that made every little child shiver in fear, and the demon they all call is someone nothing alike, nor any noble ones. For probably, no definitely, that someone is far unlike what they brand him to be, but an angel or even a fairy that I can call my friend.
"IF you have doubts, then you have no right to that name I gave you. Now go!" disappointment and anger, that was the face and tone my father scream at my face. The very first argument that we both had.
I know I have faults, but standing up for the commoners, the people he mistreated, is the most satisfying thing I ever did, yet it causes a rift in our family. Hurt and quite rebelling, I run away that night, heartbroken by his words. In the thunderstorm and heavy rain, I rode my horse running aimlessly away as I did not care where.
"I hate you." as I mutter unto myself, leaving the heavy rain to soak my body through and through, added with my tears, it is hard for me to see the dim road ahead. Yet, I did not care as I did not mind as off where will my desperation take me.
Then a bolt of lightning strikes in front, making my horse startled as I lose control, I fall rolling in a dirt path, turning to the side as I felt it was, the ends. I bump my head on a branch, turning everything blank.
"Hmmm." I moan as I gain my consciousness back, yet to the expected raining waters of the storm and the dark ditch I fall into, I found the place.
Slowly opening my eyes and picturing the whole place, magical as they all claim it, to the outside world where the night falls, and the dark clouds pour its upset and anger as it supposes to be before I lose consciousness. Instead, the warmth from the sun took me in a mesmerizing tone. To the vast meadows, crystal streams, and jewel-like flower buds, the warm yet, gentle air provides me with comfort from the cold of being drench, from the storm that in this place is exchanged with a beautiful fantasy I have never been.
"Who are you?" Just then, I hear his voice, deep yet cold, the one I lay an eye on in the time I realize that I am in twine inside the forest they all called to be a curse, I found him. His complexion of white snow, his eyes are as clear as the ocean of sapphire blue, and his hair resembles the pearly silver. His existence, and somewhat cold appearance, not a human nor a devil they claim him to be, but an immortal fairy.
Looking at the epitome of perfection, as my heart flutters and excitement sinks, the words we exchange in between is the first special memory I had.
"I am the King of this forest, protector, and knight, Rafael." as he introduces himself.
Replaying in a courtesy, I smiled genuinely, introducing myself, "Standing before his highness, I am Lady Miyu, at your service." To his gentle, genuine, and warm smile that took my breath away, I found what I am looking for my entire life.
'Rafael.' Whispering his name inside my mind. The name that I will never forget, the name that he ever had, the identity that I let him have, the very name of his existence, and the pledge of our special friendship.
Innocent, yet not, too young, but perhaps not, the days that become months into years, as I found my haven to call in all secrecy. To the forest and gate that opens for me to enter, the sanctuary he guards for a hundred years is the place I forever come back to.
Sitting down at the grassy meadows as his head rested on my lap, I look at him with awe, wondering if I could ask the question, I am somewhat scared to even start, yet.
Slowly opening his eyes as he smiles, he slowly nodded as he says, "I have never been lonely, Miyu." Reading my mind, he assures one thing by answering the question I needed an answer to.
Thinking that it is quite unfair, yet knowing that for a magical being that he is, I could not hide anything, even what my heart desires and beats for.
"Yet." He suddenly said, added by a burden in his tone, slowly reaching for my face, and as his cold hand touches, a dash of sadness is what I read in his eyes. "I will be," he confesses as he looks past me and into the vast blue sky, raising his hand gently unto the rainbow that went near and places to the tip of his finger. For a second, he closes his eyes as he whispers, "I will feel that emotion, and for the first time, I will cry if I will lose you, Miyu."
Sitting down as he faces and look at me in the eyes, placing the butterfly in my ear, creating an illusion of the most precious pin no equal amount of money in this world could exchange. For eighteen years old me that knows what it means, I close my eyes as his cold hand touches my face once more, and slowly overtaken by the loud beat of my heart and the butterflies that escape from within, his soft lips touch mine.
Knowing that everything is a lie about him, about this very forest and his existence, my life as of his painted the beauty I never knew, but I wish to have. Somewhat sealing a promise from a taboo that we both should not take, his days, his life, and the silence that he has been all these years are shaken and struck because of me.
"Then I promise you that I will never leave you, Rafael. "
The day that I met him, the time that took the cog placing it perfectly completing my ever-lonely life turning it to the warm I ever wished for years. A taboo, a threat, or a fault, I did not care, for I found my smiles with him, as my heart has long been fallen for him.
The day I run away, the accident that I brand it and use to threaten everyone as they all had it scared and enough for me to have the freedom I wanted. I rejected every proposal, every suitor, and every gentleman who came in my way and wanted my hand, for neither that they all know, I long have given my heart to the devil they brand him be.
Raising my pinky finger, I wish. "Then promise me," whispering as our eyes meet each other, and with a smile, we promise the words. "No matter what, you will stay by my side." The promise that I selfishly made and wanted in that time.
Marking a smile on his face as he took the same pinky knotted unto mine, he gladly replied. "I promise." Holding the promise with his words, his smile, and the truth that it brings, I did not know then that my happiness is his suffering as his freedom is my curse and vice versa.
Maybe if I am aware of the inevitable future ahead of us, I should not have been selfish, teach him how to smile, be sad, be grateful, and cry. I should not say yes, opened the gates, and see him all to my grandest desire. As I should have run away as I came quick and should be gone, now everything was left open, to the taboo that I cause for the second time without knowing.
Holding the current melody of our gleeful symphony, I took his hand, wanting once more. "Will you sing for me?"
With a smile, he gave me everything. To a promise, I tied him down. To the song that never fails to make my heart at ease, I never knew that it could be the last time before everything turns to ashes.
"STOP!" As I cried and nothing else but beg, to the screams that no one ever heard. To my begging knees and held captive hands on the side and forced to stay in horror, watch the cursed that I choose. Everything is slowly breaking, burning, turning into ashes as they tend to leave me with nothing of him.
'I will never leave your side, Miyu.'
Holding the promise with his words, his smile, and the truth that it brings, my happiness, is slowly burning in my sight. To his peaceful life, the sanctuary that he forever protected, his immortality, his forever living young, the crown he owns in that place, and the days that will come is now burning into ashes, by which I could not do anything but uselessly cry.
'Then promise me, no matter what, you will stay by my side.'
Hearing the words from that day, I then realize one thing. I am the stupid one for wanting that promise out of him. I should not have asked that promise and made him promise, for if I did not, then maybe, his smile and voice are still here with me.
'I will forever stay by your side, Miyu.'
To his voice that is echoing back to my memories somewhat fading away in my sight, I fall weakly, staring blankly at the bright burn of the flame that is rapidly engulfing everything in its path.
To the people that hail for the achievement they claim, laughing with glee for the sight of their brand Demon's sanctuary that they are burning and fueling to be in ashes. Their selfishness burden more to my bleeding heart.
"Miyu, please were begging you." As my mother cries, holding my face forcing me to look at her, yet I could not.
To my tears that continue to fall, she holds my hand with her own words, she pleads. "Stop this, Miyu, I am begging you, snap out of this delusion." she cries, holding the thoughts and the hidden words that are screaming that I should wake up from the nightmare I dwell myself into, that I should break away from the possession the 'devil' pin me down. If only she knew the whole truth.
Shaking my head of a no, I ignore her as I scream, "Stop it, stop it, no, no please, STOP!" I beg, reaching my hand by which they all took down, pulling me back and away. To my crying breath, I wish that everything is a lie, that it was all a dream, that everything from the plan that they all set up was just a nightmare, yet, it was all true. "Please." I weakly call hating myself for taking the bait and leading them all in this place.
If I were just careful enough, think twice, and did not take their bet, their scheming plan to put everything down into a ritual of their claim cleansing demons will not be happening right now. "This is all my fault." I blame myself, pounding my chest to the pain that my heart is bearing. Looking at my mother, whose desperation is drawn all over her face, she screams.
"Miyu, Miyu!" slapping me in my very existence as I woke up, but still dead inside.
Gazing at her face and her pitiful eyes, my entire world only sank much more and deeper for the truth that I wanted to be a lie. The nightmare that I wanted to end tells it to be the fact.
'This love may be taboo, as everything of what we have now is a lie, but then I promise you I will do everything to become someone who will die by your side as we grow old. I will give up everything, even this immortal life, this sanctuary, and everything that is me now. I will become the fall just for you. I will be a mortal, so please wait for me. Do not count the days, as I will be the one to come for you, I promise.'
With the fading whisper of his voice, the last scene that pictures in my mind. His promise, that promise, and his very smile. The day that he should be back, the end of the hundredth day that he will be with me, the time I waited for long, is all gone. Where will I wait for him? Where will he find me? As to where will I be waiting for him now? If the only place visible and feasible for us both is gone.
"Burn everything of what you could see, end this cursed forest, end the path to that place."
As they cheer with glee, burning everything off the path into his arms. They all celebrate, thinking of an end to the cursed that they all claims but never understand. The loss from the ones who went near the forest was not because of him. Not because he cursed them, not because he killed or played with any of their lives, it was all made up. He only scared them away and never inflicted any harm. Not a drop of blood to be shed, yet they took it differently, invented stories and gruesome ones that made the mass into a hysteria of horror and accusation that did not have any grounds to prove, as all that they know, this place, and he is an enemy they needed to banish and kill.
"I am sorry, I am so sorry." I end up whispering as my eyes pave to the burning sight of the gate, I always entered to be with him. I close my eyes as the ashes are blown by the wind, whispering the words of my saddest goodbye.
'No matter what, even if the world will separate us apart, I will look after you. I will find you, Miyu.'
Crying from the nightmare of the reality that I woke up into and looking at the forest as it all turns into ashes, the gate that he kept open for me. The paradise that I found to be my home.
I slowly nodded, easing my mother's begging words as they slowly took me by the side. Asking for something in return gesturing for water, and two, my lies piles as I stand up. With their attention shifted, leaving me temporarily alone, I took the steps. To the vast colors, I knew and above, gazing at the sunrise with the people who cheered and did not care, I cry in pain, regret, and agony as I move slowly, closer to where I believe everything will end on the right path. I gaze up at the vast sky as the wind blew its pain away, and to the twilight that is slowly painting the sky with the same hue of the flame, I turn around as my feet reaching the end of the cliff.
Slowly, as I close my eyes and without thinking twice, I, whisper, "Sorry." Holding the grief tight to my heart as they all rush trying to save me in time, I took the last step, hoping to see him, wishing that in death maybe we can be as I will be free. Letting myself fall into a comparable abyss below, my body slams to the coldest waters swallowing everything of me, as I wish that the thing that I wanted now is to be in the place where I can be forever with him.
'I promise, no matter what, I will come back for you.'
"WHERE?"
Yet, everything of a happy ever after was all just a lie after all. Slowly gaining consciousness as I woke up in an unfamiliar face surrounded by the people, I did not recognize who. I scan the place with my eyes as I looked at my hands, by which then I realize I did not concede.
"Miyu, my daughter, thank the heavens."
In a worry crying, as they all somewhat been waiting for long. The woman beside me who calls me by the name I could not remember. Her hug, those worried eyes, and their sign of relief, but crying faces around me are keeping me in wonder. My mind is in chaos, swarming with too many questions by which I can only wonder one thing. Confuse and did not know what is true, what is what, and what to do. The pieces that were left intact and solid turn into the tiny bits of a questionable chunk, from the memories that somewhat got stuck and sealed that I forget.
"Just, who are you?"
'A promise is a promise as I promise you, I will never forget you,'
RAFAEL