(THE STAR IN MY PAST)
'I will be back as I will find you.'
The fading words keep me wondering, for the many questions that flood nonstop inside my mind. The words that I somehow knew, but failed to recognize, of WHERE did I heard that promise, WHEN did I receive such words, and to WHO does that promise belong?
Walking alone in someplace deserted, but not, as I utter the name. "Miyu," asking myself as I look at the vast dark sky, thinking about the things that should not exist in this time and this reality but then, I am hunted by the scene and the words from someone rather in the past my heart is screaming its misses, where my mind could not remember, with the words.
'Rafael, which means the fairy king of the sun, the king's sun, Rafael.'
The dreams that continue to hunt me ever since I learn to walk, think and speak, the words that replayed to my conscious mind out of my unconscious heart, and the person who I call,
"Rafael," I whisper, reaching for the sky as I let the cold breeze of October hit my warm flesh, and the drops of the sad heavens cry as it flows gently from above. Taking an umbrella with me as I survey the place where I grew up too, the emptiness from the corner of my mind that brought me to this place and the very reason to live, where I started the past that I forgot.
'I promise your biological father to his deathbed that I will find and protect you, now that you are here, and though that accident causes something so great, I am thankful that it paves the way for me to find you. From now on you are my daughter and the heir to my richness. The one who we did not lose on that day. From now on, you are Michaella del Lionore, my daughter, Mika.'
Ringing the moment and the words that I woke up into where everything that I know within my past vanishes after I wake up in quite a time of slumber. Holding the piece of a broken star-shaped golden necklace that bares everything, but could not unravel anything, is the only thing I own as a clue to my unknown past five years ago.
'Five years ago, a mix-up of car accidents happened on that unfortunate night of June 6.'
The words hit me back then, as I realize a thing and two that I lost my memories from the moment that I open my eyes with the unfortunate words that follow.
''It involved five vehicles where two were private cars by which ownership is by the same number of four families. Not far away from now burned down Angel's orphanage, where you've been rescued together with a boy as you both were the only left survivor of that tragic event.'
From the truth that slowly opens the doors to my lost past, the orphanage where I came from, the place where maybe, just maybe, I grew up into now was gone. To the hope and wish I kept on searching, the questions that left me again back to square one, the life that I once knew, but forgot, will something out from anything from the burned down past of my life will ever ring the truth of my life? With the luxury and gold that I have now. What can it do if the clues are slowly vanishing in front of my sight as it did not give me the chance to even hold onto it? To the dream that always left me with a lingering thought, hunting me ever since then, and from the questions, I am seeking the answers and hoping that it will stop the pain deep inside my heart.
'From the orphanage that burned down, the only thing that was left is this storage house. With its location and a few feet away from the main building, this old storage house was the only thing that survived.'
Looking back to the day where I set foot for the first time after years and back to that place, and the moment I set my eyes like the first, but in reality, I deeply knew from the back of my mind. A familiar scent blew, yet I could not remember.
"Was it really an accident back then?" I whisper, asking the heavens as the doubts and the word 'no' keep on knocking at the center of my subconsciousness.
Asking for the consequences from the maybe and if, that might be and the truth that exists that it should and should not be, I wanted to believe that it was not all the real thing.
'It was as the investigation ended to be that way, with the lack of pieces of evidence and witnesses an accident might and have to be the cause of what happened, Miss. I don't know if it will help you somehow in searching for what you are looking for, but for now, this is the only thing that I can do for you.'
Recalling his words and the information that I receive from the pieces of paper he laid in front of me. Knowing the left truth that remained, my entire being is screaming my regret as I will forever cry for the loss that I could not remember. The people that once became my family, the orphanage that used to call home and should lead me back, yet from everything that happened, how could I retrieve the only key for my lost past?
"How could I?" asking, as I lay my hand in front, letting the raindrops touch and give me the chill of this night. I remember the day that I came back to that place where I am searching for the ghost of my past, yet I failed to hold.
'My name's Rafael, just like the king's sun, and you are?'
Taking a deep breath as the coldness is sinking into the blowing wind I whisper, "Rafael." The name I could not recognize yet lingers the pain, longing, and agony from my entire life. The one, my heart, and mind are protesting and blaming me, screaming the fact that I took a taboo of forgetting. Yet, I could not remember, as the only thing I could do is wish. "Just who are you, Rafael?" asking as the sky cries hard and the rain pours violently. I hold the thing that was with me the day that I woke up from a deep sleep and started my living nightmare. The half-star necklace somehow contains the life and the person I often dream about, as it tells me that its significance is far greater than anything that I can own in this world. Like it is the only clue and key for me to have what I desire the most in this life.
'My name's Rafael, which means the fairy king of the sun, the king's sun.'
What did I forget? Just what do I need to remember to find myself? To the luxury that I have and the influence I can use to gather and secure everything that I could wish for, everything seems useless, as I am hit with the truth that money could not pave me the answer that I wanted. For somehow no matter what I do, take, and decide to do, I could only end up with nothing.
Looking not far, I lay my sight to a silhouette that hit the red alarm into my mind as I scream, "Wait!" I run, rushing from where I stand, and as the heavy rain pierces its coldness from all over my body, I took the bravest front trying to catch someone's hand, yet to my very disappointment, I miss an inch. Just then, I heard the words.
'I'm Miyu, nice to meet you, King, of the Forest.'
To my heart that was beating a while then stops with my breath that comes slowly like it was my last, a familiar but vivid vision flashes unto my sight. To the sound of the plunging water from way below, my world turns slow. Pounding my heart from sudden pain that rushes deep within, another whisper blow unto my ears.
'My name's Rafael and you are?'
"Ahh!"
I woke up back to my reality as my hand is still reaching down to the person I failed in time to hold. The people who witness the scene scream from the horrific scene that they witness. In the same seconds as my eyes are on that scene and the rain still pours heavily in, someone unlikely, a person I knew but not, jumps deep into that cold waters as my heart wanted to burst with regret and pain of losing the most important thing.
"Someone, somebody please help him!"
The crowd gathers near and at the back of me, screaming with both worry and horror for the scene that unfolds, as I was somewhat left stranded and frozen in place like I have seen the scariest thing I could ever have in my entire life.
"Call an ambulance!"
Someone screams in a hurry snapping me out of my daze, with some of the crowd is busy looking down from now nothing, but only left bubbles from the waters where he landed a swear death from, I call.
"That." Whispering as my entire consciousness is brought back into reality, I took an immediate step. Taking off my coat and climbing onto the bridge railing, neglecting the coldness that my subconsciousness is protesting about, with the crowds bewildered and warns, I took a deep breath shivering. Taking my courage, I jump as I did not mind the icy waters that slam my fragile body. I swim deep and enough to the waters below. To my mind, I wanted to ask how I could find someone in that dark waters my heart somehow knew. Like I entwine to the stranger where I should not even bother saving, I finally hold his hand. Taking my fair strength enough and far, I drag him up as I finally grasp a deep breath out from the waters. To the stranger I did not know, to the one who seems in deep agony, I held out my hand as I grab his, cold and nearly out of sight, I pulled him in my arms, locking the image of the one I held to be true.
'Then I will call you, no, we will call you, Miyu, which means a girl found in the forest.'
Hearing the familiar sound and taking in the sight of the red and blue light, some of the crowd rushes for a helping hand as they drag us on land. Paramedics aided, taking both of us as I breathe in shivering from the cold. Wrapping my body with a blanket as the crowd claps and proud for what I've done, my eyes are fixed to the one the medical team is taking in a stretcher.
"Rafael." Whisper the name unconsciously out loud I ask the question, "Who are you?" wondering as I realize that I just save someone out of the brink of time even without knowing why, as my heart only pushes me to do. It made me wonder why? for someone that is a stranger like him and myself that never played the heroic one, why did I jump and was desperate to keep him alive?
As the siren of emergency wails and the red and blue lights of the emergency team's vehicle shows that perfect pattern from, to the persons who immediately wrap his entire body with warmth and blanket and took him in and inside the ambulance to safety, I was left sitting down not far ahead, looking straight and to his unconscious self, I watched as the door slowly closed from behind with the agony of pain and longing together as the car road away wailing an emergency, I somewhat knew, yet not, that the person to whom I saved was,
"Leon Rafael Aims,"
The name that immediately stole my attention rings the terrible pain inside and the same that took my sight away. To the medical personnel who asks and is holding 'his identification card as he made his words out in front of an officer in charge, I jump down from the ambulance taking the steps near them.
"Ex...Excuse me." I interrupted, stuttering from cold, yet before I could ask a question and have them look at me, someone taps my back as I glance back to see another officer in uniform saying.
"Miss." As the officer greeted with a quick bow and held out a book of blank pages of papers and a pen. "I'm officer Yun from District 7 headquarter, I am the one assigned for this case." Handing out his business card, he signed with thanks towards the medic, to whom then hurriedly went his way out.
"May I have a few questions for you?" he asks politely, as I wanted to decline and ask him to wait for a while, my mind protested.
Nodding a confirmation, he sat down in front of me as I walk back sitting inside the ambulance and looked way back and forth to my eyes and into the piece of paper in his hand.
"Do you somewhat notice any suspicious person from anyone in this place during and after the incident, maybe?"
Confusion and hitting a slight hint from a simple suicide act that might be a crime, I only showed disapproval of none as a confirmation.
"Then," standing immediately and paying his thanks to a bow, he showed his way out, asking for just that. "I'll head on my way. Thank you for your cooperation."
Weird enough, but who do I to confirm what's the things that they ought to follow and do and not. Just then, with a realization that strike, the face that was not visible in my eyes though everything was so bright and clear when the rain finally stops. I look back to the business card that he gave, only to notice it turns into a piece of blank paper.
"Wait!" calling out as I stand immediately, a hand grabs me from behind, and from out of the blue pictured out a familiar gaze of a girl in my same age, but with a bright tone to her voice.
"I think this is yours, perhaps?"
Owning a gentle smile, I somehow knew, but not, she held her hand a few centimeters above, and as I held out my hand catching it from below, she let out a half golden star necklace letting it fall slowly in my sight and to the palm of my hand. Holding my chest with my other hand as a painful pain beats inside my heart, my tears fall unknowingly from my eyes. As she smiles, closing my hand with her she whispers the words, "Next time make sure that you wouldn't lose it again, Miyu."
Taken back suddenly by her words and the name that she calls, my fixed sight of the necklace was alarmed, gazing back in front of me as the question pops inside my mind, I found no one. Like there wasn't even a person in there as I was like dreaming, but not.
"Who?" Looking back and forth from side to side then left and right. I was left transfix by the series of events searching in that same time and tick of every passing moment to the two persons who come and go as quickly as they arrive. A second pass and left with only a blank card and a half golden star necklace, my mind and heart are whispering and beating the warning I should heed upon.
"Next time make sure that you wouldn't lose it again, Miyu."
"Miyu." As time flew fast, yet unknowingly to my still transfix world from the moment that seems to be impossible to occur, I have left again with more puzzling things as I never had before.
Looking back from now vast starry sky as the cries ended, and the cold subsides, I took a breath in, but fast and from the name that echoed again and again in my mind, the warning that she gave, the officer that I could not picture out of who and his name that's breathing an echo to my ears, unwillingly my tears falls and unknowingly to my cheeks, tears that I did not know where it came from, tears that was meant for something and someone, someone that was,
"From now on you will never be alone, I promise you that,"