After that, I found myself at Ryu’s doorstep. I don't know why but instead of going back home, I went the opposite way. Besides, no one was at home. Mum left two days after the case was over. She said they'll be back soon. They just need to wrap up some work.
The small house was quiet and it looked peaceful. I went up and rang the doorbell then waited. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I just longed to see him. I want to show him that me and Greg are not the same. I want him to know that I'm not a coward.
I don't give a shit about other people. I'm definitely not a nice person. I want revenge for Aera but I ended up showing mercy. It made me somewhat disoriented. And then the trip down memory lane. I can't be alone. No way. I'm afraid I'll do something I shouldn't.
The door swung open to reveal Ryu in nothing but shorts and a towel draped around his neck. My breath hitched and I felt my mouth go dry. Oh shit.
Why was I shocked? I have seen countless naked guys. Naked as the day they were born. I never took second glances. It never felt weird but... why can't I take my eyes away?
Ryu was wearing a pair of shorts, revealing strong toned hairless legs. The shorts were kinda tight so they even accentuated his thick thighs. His rock hard abs were on display. Hair, dark as coal was set loose, long wet silky locks clung to his smooth skin, water trailing down and getting soaked by the towel. His eyes, though black, had some sort of shine and I felt like I couldn't breathe at all. Why is he so handsome?
What the fuck was this?
My eyes widened even further. Wasn't this...
Wasn't this...
GAY!!!
"What are you doing here?" Ryu asked, breaking my thoughts.
I tried desperately to calm my racing heart. On the surface, my face was blank, like a sheet of paper but inside, my emotions twirled like a raging whirlpool.
"I only came to say something to you. I'll leave soon" I said, surprised that his voice came out cool. There's no way I can stay. I'll end up doing something irreversible. But... isn't that what I came for?
He frowned but nodded. "Okay. I'm listening"
"I did what you asked" I said. "I helped Dai"
A look of surprise flashed on his face. "Y-You what?"
I felt more confident. "I said I helped Dai. I made sure they deleted the video. He's safe"
He let out a relieved sigh then smiled at me. I felt something bubble it's way into my heart and I felt a bit calm. I returned his smile. Damn. If this is what it takes to get him to smile at me like that, I'll be torn. I won't be able to fulfill my promise.
"I only came to tell you so you wouldn't worry. So uh...see you at school tomorrow" I said. I turned to leave but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I tensed. I could feel the warmth of his palm seeping through my shirt. I turned to look at him.
"Thank you Aito" he said, giving me an even wider smile.
Thank you. The words 'thank you'. I've only heard them being used on other people. It has been so long since someone said those words to me. I really didn't know how to react.
'Don't thank me Ryu. I'm still going to punish him. I'm still going to ruin many lives'
"D-Did you know that I would help?" I stuttered, inwardly cursing my flustered state.
Ryu shook his head. "But I was hoping you would. I wanted to help him but that would involve me beating the hell out of your friends. Especially Toshiro and getting banned from the restaurant so I resorted to you"
I thought it made sense. I just didn't get one thing. "Why me? I'm not a good person Ryu. I didn't do it because I wanted to. I did it because you asked and I owe you a favour for helping me that time. If you weren't there, Dai’s video would be trending by now. You shouldn't thank me. It's like you said. There's no goodness in my heart. It's black"
"I was wrong" he said. His eyes softened and he stepped out, once again invading my personal space. "What I see is now is different. I see a person wearing a mask. I see a person that's suffering inside. Hiding his pain and acting as if everything is alright. I realized that I've never seen you genuinely happy. I don't know what happened that made you this way but I hope you'll one day trust me enough to tell me. Today you helped him because I asked you to. Maybe tomorrow, you'll help because you want to"
I couldn't believe my ears. I couldn't believe someone actually saw through my facade. Tears pooled in my eyes and I found myself leaning into Ryu who welcomed me with open arms and engulfed me in a warm hug. How can his body be so warm even though he's outside?
I didn't want to cry in front of him but my eyes betrayed me and the tears dropped down my cheeks one after the other. The arms I'd been longing to feel held me close. The chest I've always wanted to touch was pressing against mine and I buried my face in the crook of his neck, letting his scent surround me.
I wasn't crying because of Miss Park. I was crying because I was frustrated. Because he made me feel things I didn't want to feel. Because I don't want to be like Dai but I find myself wanting more with Ryu. I was crying because life is not fair at all. I was crying because my heart hurt.
I clung to him, bawling my eyes out. My body was trembling but he held me tight and stroked my back until my sobs turned to hiccups and then I calmed down.
"I'm sorry" he whispered to me. "I'm sorry for all the things I said. I didn't realize you were suffering too. You just put up so many walls that it's hard to see the real you. You act like some fuck boy with no emotions and I guess that's what made me believe all the things I was told about you. I'm sorry"
Oh they're true Ryu. They're all true. I'm not a good person. But they're not good either. They killed Aera. It's only fair that they get punished too.