"Look we can talk tomorrow Aito. You really should go" Ryu said to me, ignoring her completely.
I folded my arms above my chest and stood my ground. "I told you, I'm not leaving"
"Fuck" he cursed.
I knew standing there wouldn't work. He wouldn't listen to me like that so I yanked the girl's arm from his shoulder and dragged her towards my car.
"Aito, what the hell are you doing?" he asked, confused.
"Making sure we can talk" I replied. I unlocked my car, opened the passenger door, and shoved her inside. She squealed then burst into a fit of giggles. "Are we having sex in your car?" She asked, giggling hysterically.
I scoffed. "You wish". I closed the door, locked the car then made my way back to a stunned Ryu. "Now can we talk?" I asked.
He looked at me then the car. I shoved the car key into my pocket and folded my arms again, waiting for his answer.
When he saw that I wasn't backing down, he gave up and opened the front door. "Make it quick," he said but I snickered to myself.
Once I entered, I had no intention of leaving.
He switched on the lights as we walked inside.
They gave the place a warm glow. His home is so cozy and beautiful. I didn't care that it was small. In fact, it being small made it a lot better. He stood in the living room, looking at me expectantly. I raised a brow in question.
"Speak," he ordered.
I didn't think I could with the way he made the whole atmosphere awkward. He wasn't making things easy for me.
"Can I have some water first? My throat is dry" I said, hoping he would loosen up a little bit.
He sighed then walked to the kitchen. I followed and sat my butt on a stool by the counter. He took out a bottle of water from the fridge and slid it to me over the counter. I took my sweet time opening the bottle then I took sip after sip, savoring the cool liquid on my tongue and down my parched throat. I watched as he took a seat across from me. It made me happy that he was starting to relax. I finished the entire bottle of water and let out a contented sigh.
"How long?" he asked me.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"How long?" he repeated.
I frowned. "I don't understand"
"How long have you been sitting out there?"
Oh. That. I scratched the back of my neck, letting out a nervous smile. If I told him, I'd sound like a creep. "Does that really matter?"
He pinned me a glare and my heart skipped a beat. Fuck. Must everything he does be so attractive?
"You either tell me or get out"
I sighed. "I left the party around 11 I guess so maybe 5 or 6 hours..." I cringed as I spoke. If someone waited outside my house for 5 or 6 hours, I'd definitely call that person an obsessed creep. Am I an obsessed creep?
He suddenly stood up and walked over to my side. He stretched his hand and his long fingers touched my right cheek. I winced for the area was still sore. "You're such an ass you know," he said, fingers brushing my skin softly. "If you wanted to break up with her, you should have done it in private. Why at the party?"
"I couldn't wait any longer" I replied. I had also promised myself that whatever comes out of my mouth to him tonight, would be the truth.
"Wait for what?" he asked.
I looked into his eyes then held his outstretched hand, rubbing my cheek against his rough palm. "I miss you" I whispered. He tensed but didn't pull away. So I continued. "I miss you so much Ryu. I miss you so much that it scares me"
"What are you saying?" he whispered back. We didn't break eye contact. I didn't want to. They say the eyes reflect what's in one's heart. I wanted him to see the raw emotions in my eyes. I wanted him to see the truth.
"I'm sorry," I said. "For everything. I didn't mean those things I said to you. I didn't mean any of it. I was just so angry and I let it take over my rationality. I can't even remember half the things I said but I'm really sorry. Please forgive me, Ryu"
I felt tears pool in my eyes. I was truly apologizing from the depths of my heart. I'm not the kind of person that does that but I'm doing it for him. For he means a lot to me.
"You have no idea what I've been going through these past weeks" I continued. "I can't bear the pain any longer Ryu. It hurts worse than any physical pain. I feel like I'm suffocating, constantly drowning and I'm sick and tired of seeing you with other people. Especially girls and... Dai". I whispered the last word. Seeing Dai with him makes me insanely jealous.
"Don't" He said, retracting his hand and I inwardly mourned the loss of his touch. "Don't even start. Don't say another word"
I was confused. "Why? Did I say something wrong?"
He shook his head. "No. But you're about to"
What?
"I can't be your experiment Aito" he continued. "I can't. You say you miss me but what you actually miss is how I make you feel. Sexually"
"What?..."
"Yes, Aito. That's exactly what you miss. You don't miss me. You miss my touch. I agree that if you hadn't kissed Sara that day, maybe we would have been something more by now but you did and you know what, I'm glad you did because I had time to go over everything. You kissed her so easily even after being with me. It was a clear sign that you have no feelings for me. You only like how I make you feel"
I shook my head. "No...no Ryu that's not true. I-"
"That's the truth" he insisted. "Tell me, if I hadn't touched you for the very first time that night, would you have ever thought of us together? Would you have even given me your time?"
I couldn't answer. I felt like a bucket of cold water was dumped on me, chilling me to the bone. If Ryu hadn't been intimate with me, would I want to be with him right now?
No.
In fact, I loathed him that time because of the things he said to me.