Love in a place where fingers mean world [BL]

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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - Utmost bottom

Do you know the feeling when you hit the utmost bottom? When you feel like the only choice you have is to kill yourself? He didn't know when he got the resolution to do it. But his fate was sealed. He was fed up with this disgusting life. He had nothing to live for. The only thing, that would help him, was to be freed from this miserable life.

He was standing at the edge of the rooftop, looking down at the ground. It looked like paradise. Full of trees, lawns, kids playing happily outside. He looked at them with jealousy. Why can't he be like them? Why did he have to suffer so much?

"I would jump somewhere else. The trees could slow down your fall or even save you. Then you would be crippled to the end of your life, being even more miserable." A deep voice sounded behind him and got him startled so much he slid down the edge back to the roof. He turned around and saw a guy with wild black hair, deep black eyes. His skin was white and his nicely built body was rising above his by more than head. But he was right. The trees could slow him down. He looked around at other buildings. But they were not as accessible as this one. And some hadn't had flat roofs.

"Mmm." He nodded and started walking away, past him, when the other guy grabbed his hand and forced him to turn. He flinched a bit when the guy touched his newly bruised wrist.

"Are you sure it will help you? You never know what's on the other side…" The guy said calmly, still holding his hand.

"I don't know. But it will surely be better than this hell I'm living now." The guy squinted his eyes when he said this and flinched a bit.

"Is this what all the people leaving think?" Suddenly the guy looked sad. Lost. He shook the hand the guy was holding but he still had a firm grip on it.

"I don't know, but this is what I think. Look at me! Do I look happy?" He shouted tearing his shirt and pointing at himself. He was dirty from the food, he tripped into, his hair messy, dark circles under his amber eyes, ripped lip, and bruised all over. The strange guy tilted his head looking at his. The guy blinked slowly. Once. Twice. Saying nothing. Then finally let his hand go.

"Just, please… Don't do it before me. I beg you. I had enough already. I don't want to see it ever again." The guy said and he stopped his steps. Looked like this guy had his own demons. His own problems. His curious nature beat the momentary depression he had. He turned around back to face the guy.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone would be here." He said and the guy nodded, walked away, and laid back down where he probably came from before. He couldn't help but follow. He sat next to the guy and looked up at the sky. Maybe the guy would be a good friend.

"I don't know how to deal with it anymore," he said, he stopped caring that the guy is a complete stranger. He just wanted to tell somebody. They both faced each other. Both having their own demons. It's just, the guy was stronger. Holding it better than him.

"Your family can't help you?" The guy asked and he snorted.

"My family is the cause of this. She is my mom I can't hurt her back. I can't do anything to stop her. She was the one feeding me and clothing me. She just…" His voice broke in the middle and tears swelled in his eyes. The guy did not say anything and still listened. Waiting for him to finish it. He took a deep breath. "She just wants me to be the best. But I can't be always the best. I'm not happy living her dream. And every time I come home; she starts to beat me up. I can't even defend myself because I think I would hurt her." That guy still quietly listened and just nodded. He had no strength to go on. He just laid down beside the guy looking up at the skies. No wonder he had no friends. He was telling his life story to this random guy he met.

"It's better to have a mom who beats you than no mom. At least you know that she still wants the best for you." The guy slowly sat up and looked at him. That guy's face was cold, impenetrable. And he finally got it. This guy had no mom.

"I'm sorry. Want to share what happened?" He asked the guy quietly. Maybe if the guy shared what happened they could become friends. How else it would happen? His brain sent him dangerous thoughts. 'You are so useless that you don't even know how to make friends. You are good-for-nothing, just like your mom always tells you. You don't deserve friends. You don't deserve to live. You should jump from the roof. And everything would be better. Your suffering would end.'

He became unusually quiet. Both of them were. They just sat there. When the bell rang, he got up and without a word, he walked away. He wasn't good enough to have friends. He wasn't good enough to have someone to talk to. He was only good at one thing. Studying. He passed the results board which they had put up when he was up on the roof.

1# Jin Chao – fourth grade one

2# Wang Yitian – fourth grade three