Yitian was going back home with exam papers in his hands and temporary expulsion. He was so afraid. He knew it was his own fault, but still. That tall guy ratted him out. And then tried to be his friend.
No way in hell. Yitian knew it was his only chance to have a friend, but to have someone who betrays you at the first moment available? Never!
His way home wasn't short; it took him half-hour normally, but now. He was slow, did not want to go home at all. Only darkness will welcome him because his mom is at work till night.
And when the light comes, it would bring more pain. When she would learn, he was expelled. Yitian shivered with fear, only thinking about it.
The last time when she came home, and he left a second-place diploma from the math contest, she got an angry attack and broke his ribs. She punched and kicked him many times. He just laid there, beside his bed, unable to move.
But his mom was not done. Her rage grew so much that she threw a glass of water that was on the table. The broken shards injured Yitian so badly, he bled.
As if she felt remorse, she helped him bandage the worse of his wounds, saying how sorry she was and how she does this only for his own good.
But Yitian knew the truth. She did not care about him at all. But he cared about her. She was the one feeding him. He can take some beating if she could take the pain when giving birth.
But he couldn't imagine what she would do right now. When he was temporarily suspended.
He was standing right in front of his house, debating whether to go inside or run away. When a neighbor came. He scanned him head-to-toes and made a hissing sound while passing by him.
Sure, he was standing in front of the doors, but does he have to be this hateful?
"Will you get another lecture today? Just to know if I have to play music loud to not hear your mother shouting again. When do you learn and stop making it hard for everyone? No one wants to hear you whine afterward." Yitian was so shocked about the neighbor's monologue. They knew she was hurting him, but they did not care.
Did no one care? Was he so useless that nobody was worried about him? Did nobody care if he was here or not? And this neighbor would prefer him dead.
Maybe it would be for the best. Maybe he should die. Everyone would be happier.
Yitian lifelessly climbed the stairs. Not wanting to take the same elevator as the neighbor. He came home, but nobody was there.
As usually. He prepared dinner for his mother. Not even eating himself. Put the expulsion paper on the table with a sticky note.
"I'm really sorry…" he wrote.
'Please don't beat me up again,' he thought for himself the rest. But he knew it was only wishful thinking.
He would be beaten up again. For his own good. He went to his room, sat by the table, and studied, needing to read a few more books.
Yitian was into his second book when the doors closed with a loud boom. He got immediately scared, hearing utensils clicking. Mom was getting dinner.
He started shaking with the silence that came. Oh god, please be merciful. He prayed, eyes watery, not even able to turn around. He was so scared; he was still when the door to his room opened.
"You useless shit!" He heard the scream and was hit with something hard. His head spun. Yitian touched his temple and felt a sticky substance. He looked at his hand, the fingers were smeared with blood and rice.
"Why? Why are you so useless? Can't you do at least something right? Second place? Expulsion? Get the fuck away from my house, you good-for-nothing!" She grabbed his collar, slapped his face twice.
But his mom did not stop there. She picked him up from the chair and forcefully dragged him towards the door. Yitian knew that resistance was futile. His mom opened the door out from the apartment and threw him out, tripping his legs so he fell down.
His head was hurting, pulsating, the same as his hand. He laid down there for a few minutes in shock when the door opened again. Yitian thought she had her calm mood now, but when he was hit to the head by the corner of a hardback book, he knew she was still raging.
"Get the hell out and come back only when you are in the first place!" she shouted and slammed the door. No one else was out to help him.
He pulled himself up and went outside. He even grabbed the book she threw after him. Not caring about his temple or his forehead, which were painfully throbbing and bleeding. Yitian did not know where he was going. He just knew he couldn't come back for a few days.
'Or...' Wandering thought sparked in his mind. It was not a good thought. He exited the compound, crossing the kid's playground. He sat at the swing.
Nobody was around. It was dark already. Everyone was home having a happy dinner. Except him. He would never be happy. Yitian did not know how long he was sitting there, but with this thought, he got up and walked towards the street.
He looked up at the crossing. Green. He walked across the street. Or he thought he would. Or maybe some car will be kind enough to hit him. BUT.
In the middle of the crossing, his head painfully throbbed, the world around him swung and he was falling down, swallowed by darkness.
***
"I don't care. Do something!" Yitian heard shouting. He thought it was his nemesis. But why would it be him? Yitian couldn't even open his eyes. The darkness embraced him once more.