Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her makeup was already ruined and she looked like a haggard doll. "Is it because I sleep around a lot? I haven't been with anyone else since we got together. I swear it. I love you, Aito. I love you so much. I've always loved you. Since the first day I met you. Why can't you love me too? What's so repulsing about me?"
"Nothing," I said to her. "Absolutely nothing Sara"
"Then why?!" She snapped. "Why do you want to break up with me?!"
"Because my heart belongs to someone else!" I snapped back. "I have feelings for someone else and it's killing me that they don't know. I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry but I can't. We can't be together"
"Yes we can" she insisted. "It's not hard. Just open up your heart to me".
"That's the thing Sara. I can't" I said to her. "I just can't"
She shook her head, refusing to listen to me. She walked closer and cupped my cheeks with both hands. "Yes, you can Aito-kun. It's easy. Just spend more time with me baby. It'll be okay"
Sara started to cling onto me, squishing my cheeks and standing on the tips of her toes so she could kiss me but I gripped both her hands and peeled them off.
"Stop this!" I spat. She was slowly driving me mad. "Just stop. I said it's over. We're done. I don't want you anymore!"
The next thing I felt was a hot searing slap on my right cheek, making my head whip hard to the left.
Fuck.
"Bastard!" she spat. "I hate you Aito ! I fucking hate you! You're a fucking jerk! An asshole! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
My cheek stung and I was sure her handprint would be there. Red and hot. Shit.
"Who the fuck do you think you are! You use me then dump me like I'm garbage. Like I'm worthless! I hate you! Do you even know how many years I've had to go through, enduring the pain of seeing you with other girls? Watching you shove your tongues down their throats, fucking them! Do you know how much it hurt?! I fucking love you Aito, but you only see me as a sex toy. You use me and when you get tired of me, you dump me and move on. Every time we get together, I start to believe that you have feelings for me. That we're gonna be a long-term thing but you always end up breaking my heart. A girl can only take so much. Just how heartless are you huh? Why are you doing this to me? What the hell did I do to deserve this?!"
She broke down, kneeling on the ground. The heart-wrenching sobs coming out of her made my heartache. I couldn't believe that someone could love me so much.
Am I selfish for wanting to be with somebody else? Was it right to leave Sara? I mean, with her, I could live a normal life. I wouldn't have to worry about my sexuality. What is wrong or what is right. I wouldn't have to think about what my parents would do when they find out that I like a guy. I'll be just fine but... did I really want that?
My eyes scanned the crowd and they fell upon smoldering dark eyes, the eyes I always find myself drowning in. I looked at the man I desperately want to be with. The man my body responds to. The man my heart needs. Huh. I guess normal life isn't for me.
"I would hang the fucking moon for you Aito-kun. Hell, I'd even die for you. But my love means nothing to you" Sara cried. "You're just so cold. Heartless bastard"
I didn't even know what to say anymore. All I knew was that I had to leave.
And so I did.
********
It was exactly 3 am when Ryu parked his truck in front of his house. I knew because I was constantly checking my phone. I had promised myself that I wouldn't leave until I spoke to him. Until I told him what's in my heart.
I drove to his house immediately after I left the hill. I got series of calls and messages from Haruto, Sakura, Toshiro, and Yua but I ignored them all. I couldn't deal with them until I dealt with Ryu and my feelings first.
Sitting outside, on the cold hard balcony, the frigid wind blowing my hair and seeping into my skin actually helped me calm down and clear my head. The silvery rays of the full moon were somewhat therapeutic. I felt I could go through with the confession.
Or maybe not.
The look in his eyes when he came out of his truck frightened me. My heartbeat quickened and I started to sweat. It was clear that he was mad. Maybe it was my presence or maybe it was what happened at the party. Either way, his anger was directed at me.
A girl, wait, that girl he was kissing at the party jumped out of the passenger seat. Shit. I could feel my anger starting to brew. I couldn't believe he brought her home. Were they dating now or was he just looking for a quick fuck? I stood up as he approached me.
My stomach was already doing somersaults. He looked damn fine. So damn fine. Coupled with the look in his eyes, he seemed dangerous. Like any wrong thing could set him ablaze.
"What are you doing here?" he asked me, eyes spitting fire, jaw locked. He looked like he couldn't stand being in my presence.
Well, I was equally angry. "What is she doing here?" I asked, jutting my chin at the girl who was now walking towards us. From her sluggish way of walking, I knew she was drunk.
He scoffed. "None of your business Aito. You need to leave"
I gave him a devious smile. "Why? So you can fuck her?"
"Aito!"
"I won't let you," I said to him. "I'm not leaving until we talk". I was damn serious and he must have seen it due to the determined expression on my face. He cursed and ran his fingers through his dark hair out of frustration. To me, the action was actually hot.
"Oh my god Aito?" the girl slurred as she finally reached us. She leaned into Ryu, placing her arm on his shoulder to support her weight. My brow twitched and my hands were itching to tear them apart. I didn't like her touching him.
"Oh I get it" she giggled. "We're having a threesome aren't we Ryu? So freaky"
I grimaced at the thought. Fuck no. I'd rather go celibate for the rest of my life! If Ryu wants to fuck, he fucks me alone.
Damn. When did I get so possessive?