Kibe: SENPAI! ANY SENPAIS AVAILABLE?
The usual treatment, but this time no one actually comes to go close to me or even look at me.
Senpais are much more brutal. Well I mean I'm taking the role of the kouhai, who are usually assertive. Let's see how this goes.
*Kibe grabs the arm of a girl*
Kibe: Senpai, let's go home!
*The girl is surprised and lets go of Kibe's grasp*
Girl: Um, who are you? And why are you touching me?
Kibe: But...I'm your kouhai, right? Gimme the nice treatment.
*His face shines brightly*
Girl: Eugh! *Her face turns to a hint of disgust* NICE MY A*S, WHO ARE YOU?
Kibe: NICE CURSING! YOU'RE DEFINITELY MY TYPE! NOW COME HOME WITH ME!
*People begin to look around them*
Girl: Hey, choose your wording...
Kibe: Man, that would be a nice experience, especially since we're gonna be all alone...
Girl: HEY! WORDING!
I'm cultured enough to see where this is going. PERFECT!
Kibe: Then after you play games with me, we'll sit on the comfy mattress, then we'll go to our zone feeling the softness saying OOH LALA. After that, we lie in bed, then we'll touch each other's...
Girl: AHHHHH, OKAY OKAY YOU WIN! NOW STOP TALKING BEFORE THINGS GET ANY WEIRDER!
Kibe: ...controllers, and after all that touching, you'd leave and say... "I had a great time, the stick felt very good to touch, I'll come over again soon," is what you said to me last time, don't you remember?
Girl: AH ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST STOP DESTROYING MY DIGNITY!
*Kibe smug face*
All according to plan... And with that context, you dug your own grave...
*Students looking at her with confusion*
Girl: Wait, what am I saying? NO! IT DOESN'T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK!
*A girl approaches her*
Girl who approached: So...you're into horny younger men...
Girl: NO! NO! NO! YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG! HE'S A COMPLETE STRANGER YOU SEE?
Girl who approached: A-A STRANGER?!
*People begin to look even more curiously*
Boy: She does sex with strangers? Creepy.
Girl behind her: She hooks up with strangers that easily?
Boy beside her: I-I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DECENT WOMAN! *He runs with tears*
Girl: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *She runs to the bathroom*
*Bell rings*
Note: It's time to go home.
*Kibe and the girl are walking home*
*Kibe is shining brightly meanwhile the girl is quite gloomy*
Girl: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you... WHAT DID YOU MEAN TOUCH YOUR STICK? THAT WAS VULGAR!
Kibe: Shempai... what are you talking about, shempai? Our controllers at home are quite soft, shempai, the joystick is very fun to touch shempai... WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, SHEMPAIIIIII??? BWAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!
Girl: YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE DIDN'T YA? WHAT DID I EVEN DO TO YOU?
Kibe: I just want shempai, to accompany me, teehee~
Girl: TEEHEE YOUR FACE, WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER WAS TOTALLY OUT OF CONTEXT!
*Kibe looks at her*
*She looks at him with angry, lighting eyes*
*Kibe looks back, he smiles*
You think you can defeat me? I have superior knowledge. NO ONE CAN BEAT ME IN INAPPROPRIATENESS!
Girl: You idiot... DIE!
*She beats him up black and blue*
Girl: DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
Kibe: You really are one big tsundere aren't ya, he ehe ehe ehe*coughs*.
Girl: I DON'T LIKE YOU NOT ONE BIT! I REALLY HATE YOU!
*She grabs his uniform by the neck*
Girl: The next time you do that again... I won't hesitate to kill you.
Kibe: Kill me? As if. This isn't a psychological horror manga, you can't kill m-
*He looks at her eyes*
*She looks with the deepest intent to kill*
Kibe: AAAAAAAAHHHHH! SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SHEMPAI, I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!
Girl: I'm glad we can turn this into a simple compromise~ cause if you didn't...
*Kibe gets chills*
What is this? I feel like I shouldn't touch her or I'll die. I'm shivering.
Girl: You're lucky cause my home just goes about this way, oh and one last thing... I HATE YOU!
...
...
She wasn't tsundere, she genuinely hated me... I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE ON YOU SOON THOT! But maybe not now...
*He shivers*
Girl: Don't touch me!
Huh?
Kibe: Hey, I ain't touching y-
*A bunch of gangsters is touching her*
Girl: Let...go!
Gangster 1: Won't you come with us, pretty lady?
Gangster 2: We promise you it'll feel good soon.
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET B*TCH! BWAHAHHAH HAHA haha.
Girl: I said... let go!
Gangster: Come on, just come with us...
Um, this is starting to look real serious... Should I act? No, that b*tch deserves it... but... NO... but NO... AH SH*T, I'M LEAVING I DON'T WANNA SEE ANY OF THIS!
*Kibe turns around and leaves*
Girl: HELP! ANYONE!
Gangster 2: No one's gonna help you little missy... now come have fun...
*Running steps*
Kibe: FINEEEEEEEEE! JUST THIS...
*He headbutts one of the gangsters*
Kibe: ONCE!
Gangster 2: BWUHHHHHHH!
*They both fall*
Gangster 1: BROTHER!!!
Gangster 3: That little piece of sh*t. Where is he?
*Gangster 2 is on the floor unconscious*
Ouch... That hurt.
Gangster 1: There he is...
Gangster 3: Let's beat him up 'till he says sorry.
Now for my attack! SHOWERING PUNCH!
*He punches*
*The gangster catches the fist with his right hand*
Crap! IF ONLY I WAS A SHOUNEN PROTAGONIST!
Gangster 1: TAKE THIS!
*He punches Kibe in the stomach*
Kibe: BLECH!
So...this is what it feels to have pain? It hurts...
*The gangsters keep on punching him*
Gangster 1: We won't stop 'till you say sorry to brother, just say the word and we'll let you go!
Kibe: *coughs* Hahaha HAHHAHAHA!
Gangster 3: HUH? WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
Kibe: YOU GUYS ARE LIKE LITTLE KIDS ASKING FOR APOLOGIES! AS IF I'D EVER AS*HOLE! I'LL NEVER SAY SORRY!
Gangster 3: Fine then. *cracks knuckles*
*after a few more beatdowns*
Gangster 2: It's no use brother, he won't say it.
Gangster: Psh, this is no fun, let's go.
Kibe: *coughs* *spats blood* I won, bastards. Haha *coughs*.
Girl: Um, sorry I hid, are you okay?
Kibe: This? This is nothing. I get beat up all the time.
That's a lie, well... a half-lie.
Girl: I'm so sorry you had to go through this, I've been very harsh to you...
Judging by how this is going, she'll feel very indebted to me. But personally, I DON'T LIKE HER. Well in order to shoo her away, I just need to think of some perverted excuse.
Girl: Why did you save me?
Kibe: Ha. I JUST DID IT FOR YOUR BOOBS! WHAT DID YA THINK IT WOULD BE?
Girl: I've misjudged you. Bye.
I don't need you to feel any pity.
Suzuki: My name is Kazumi Suzuki, you can just call me Suzuki-chan.
Chan? But she's older ain't she?
Kibe: Wh-
Suzuki: I don't like being referred to as older. Even though you're scum, you still have a good heart in you don't ya?
I don't know about that.
Suzuki: I'll come treat you to takoyaki sometime, just don't be vulgar.
*She leaves*
Wait, wait, wait... DID I JUST MAKE SOME PROGRESS?
Note: Progress: 1% to flag capture.
*He goes home*
*He is outside his home*
Despite saying all that, it all still really hurts, and even if she said that, I still feel a lot of pain, my parents aren't home they are busy being protagonists of their own life, and my little sister has been currently busy. I'm still human, anyway. I'm quite lonely. Anyway, disregard the pain and I'll write my own story, even if I have to start the first steps with hard-working loneliness. TO pretend I don't feel pain. I'll keep going.
END OF EPISODE 5