A morning like any other in the world full of protagonists...
April 6, 20XX
8:12 AM
Kibe: I'm a mob character, which means I barely have screen time and no one notices me so I can speak out my thoughts.
Note: Kibe is longing for attention, so he does this so that somebody may notice him.
Kibe: First off, the easiest and simplest protagonist of all is... THE SHOUNEN PROTAGONIST. He's got the power of friendship, plot armor, unmeasurable amounts of power, and as a bonus...
He gets lots of girls. Perfect! But how do I become a shounen protagonist? So, parents dead? So, kill 'em? Nope, no way, I'm not a heartless b*tch, but I am scum, besides, I'll become a murdering protagonist which changes my genre to police, no thanks, I'd rather be a hero than a villain.
Kibe: But he does get hurt a lot, right? I don't want that, but for the girls, I'll do it!
Note: Scum...
Let me study Kase Yoshio, the shounen protagonist.
Note: And so, the idiot continues to stalk the hero...To the cafeteria... To the bathroom... To the classroom...
What I can say is... I GOT NOTHING! I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING FROM STALKING THE SHOUNEN PROTAGONIST! WHAT THE HELL?!! Hey, wait a minute...
Don't they start their shounen activities after school?
Note: Facepalm moment...
4:00 PM, After School
I continue to follow the protagonist after school. And as expected, he moves more suspiciously than usual, and as I kept following him...
*At a park a few blocks away from school*
*A boy appears*
Boy: And so you appear... Yoshio Kase.
Kase: You? Who are you? And how do you know my name?
*Muttering noises*
Can you stop talking and just get to the fight already?
Note: A few minutes later...
Boy: FOUR-HEADED SPEAR!
*Four spears surround Kase*
Kase: What? How?
WHOAAAA...COOL...BEAT HIM STRANGER BOY! BEAT THAT CLICHE PROTAGONIST!
*One spear from his right attacks him and Kase manages to dodge this*
*The spear hits the ground*
*Two spears, one from upfront, and one from his left attacks him simultaneously*
*He somehow dodges the spear upfront but managed to get hit by the left in his shoulder*
Kase: Ouch...
What's with that acrobatic skill? He has inhumane reflexes for a high school student, well this is shounen, they tend to make the protagonist a monster even before they get powers.
This is getting boring...I'm gonna leave their fight.
The question is... did I get anything? NOPE! Wait, how do I turn into a shounen protagonist in the first place?
Kibe: IDIOT! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT FIRST? I TOTALLY WASTED MY TIME! AHHHHHHH!
So based on my otaku knowledge, one becomes a shounen protagonist by encountering a strange being or something or having special in your lineage, in which in both chances are... 0%. I should've known from the start... that it was impossible for me to become a shounen protagonist...
April 7, 20XX
What now??? What am I supposed to do now? I guess it's time for me to hunt down a new protagonist... Which one is next?
Kibe: AHH... This is very frustrating! Why can't I just become a protagonist? Not only that, I'm not even a side character... THE WORLD IS MEAN!!! GOD IS MEAAANN! Wait, God? Wait a minute, if this was a manga world, then there must be an author!
What should I do? I feel so hopeless at this point that I wanna talk directly to the author of this manga! Wait, what if this is a webtoon? manhua? manhwa? The heck should I care? If I were to talk to the author, then I'll talk to him in the bathroom.
Note: In the bathroom...
Kibe: Author-kun, Author-kun... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MEAN TO ME? JUST GIVE ME THE ROLE!
Huh? What's this written on the side of the window? The font is so little, it's barely legible... N... O... P... E
Kibe: Nope. THERE IS AN AUTHOR! WAIT, THE HELL YOU MEAN NOPE?!! TURN ME INTO A PROTAGONIST!
*Bell rings*
Oh, break's over. Time to go back to the classroom.
*Kibe leaves the bathroom and into the hallway*
*As he was running, he bumps into someone with books and both of them got pushed back from each other*
Ouch... Wait, this is an encounter, no, not just any encounter... THIS IS AN ENCOUNTER A ROMANCE PROTAGONIST MAKES! THANK YOU AUTHOR-KUN!
Let me help the one who tripped...
*Kibe stands up and tries to see who he bumped into*
Kibe: Are you okay pretty lad-
Note: However, he thought it was a lady, but it was a young lad...
Boy: Uh, yes. *blushes*
Boy's thoughts: Doki-doki! How handsome!
And so again as I was about to confirm my fear, more people with books also bumped into me... and the fear instilled into me was worsened... I knew what author-kun was planning from that moment... these are all guys and they are blushing...
Boy 1: *Drools* H-Hello...
Boy 2: L-Let me help you!
Boy 3: Such a face!
*Kibe stands up and starts running*
Kibe: A BL PROTAGONIST!!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAKS!!! AUTHOR IS A RETARD! DON'T KISS ME B*STARDS! WAHHHH! I DON'T WANNA BE A BL PROTAGONIST!!!
Note: Author is not a retard. You got what you wished for, yet you run away from it, how cowardly~
*Kibe arrives at the classroom unscathed*
You think I'm gonna give up easily, author? I'm taking the easy way out! If you don't wanna give me that role, then I'm gonna make you!
Kibe: I should start preparing for an all-out war with the author of this story! I'll get you back at this! BRING IT ON!
Note: Bring it on. A war with the author, how bold.
END OF EPISODE 2