*Ana*
Am I the only one who thinks like this? That it's just me, who wants to see each other?
I can't seem to shake off Mykhol's words. They haunt me. But I can't help it. I keep finding myself going back to them.
What if it is true? The question shakes me. I don't want it to be as I look up at the sun.
For once, let things go my way. I plead to the sun. Because I want to see it; I want to see a circus. I've even read about them from the library. I know enough that I can already imagine it.
There will be clowns with painted faces. I start as if I can see it right in front of me. They are smiling as they ride little bikes and jump over one another.
It would be loud, right? Of course- What with the tigers roaring and as the tigers would elephants tooting before they stand on their hind legs like in the pictures. And the bears-
"The bears…" I now think of Nicoli.
But when I see him, he is back in his room. The tacky yellow and blue walls seem to lean and make the space feel small. I have to duck my head to avoid hurting myself. But the ground changes. It is soft.
I am on the bed now. So is Nicoli. But this time, Nicoli is not asleep. He is awake, and his blue eyes are watching me. He is sitting up as if waiting for me.
"Ana," Nicoli reaches out his tiny hands. I feel them weave into my hair. My face and his are just a breath apart. I can see his lips parting to show his pink tongue rolling over his teeth. It makes my fangs pang at the sight.
I find myself lost. His blue eyes have me stuck in place. And He is looking back at me with as much focus. We are locked into each other and can't break away. Then, he moves.
Nicoli pulls me closer. That small space between is filled up. Our lips dangle over each other as our hot breath hits the plump skin. We are almost touching. Just a little more, and we can connect. Our lips graze each other, and I feel my fangs shoot another shot of pain.
"Ana," Nicoli's lips whisper just before we-
"Ah!" I scream at the sudden touch on my shoulder. I whip around in a dizzied craze to see I'm not alone. It's Mykhol. He's at my side.
"Are you alright, cousin?" Mykhol smiled crookedly.
"You were mumbling."
"I-" It takes a moment to remember myself. We are outside. We decided to see the rose garden since today was a little warmer. I almost forgot.
But how long has it been? I can't say and look up.
Though it is winter, I can see the sun is high. It is some time past noon. We have been out for more than an hour or two. But where was I? Was I walking around aimlessly the entire time?
And what was that? A sudden flush runs over me. What was I thinking of?
Why did I imagine us kissing?
I take a breath to calm my unease. I don't know what that was, but I am disconcerted. I don't want to think of it again and hope I don't.
It makes me feel…strange.
"Your cheeks are flushed," Mykhol, meanwhile, must notice. He touches my cheek.
"Perhaps the sun is too much?" Mykhol volunteers.
"The sun?" I look up and nod after. Yes, it was the sun's fault. I quickly agree.
"Yes, I think so."
For once, I feel relieved. I feel slightly grateful he is around, for right now, at least. Mykhol has calmed my nerves.
But just as he is with me, I can't help but wish to be away. Not just from him but the garden as well. It makes me sad to see all the roses dead. Their breaches are bare and brittle. There is no color here, and it won't be till late spring.
I want to go inside. I look back to the palace. At least there, it is warm. I shiver as a breeze catches us. I pull my shawl closer.
"My legs hurt." I stop behind Mykhol. Mykhol follows my gaze.
"Perhaps you'd like to go inside?"
"Please." I nod, turning to head out, but again, I have to scream. I am suddenly lifted off the ground.
"Cousin! What are you doing!? Put me-"
"You said you were tired, didn't you?" Mykhol beams a smile.
"I…I did." But I didn't mean for you to carry me. But even as I think about it, I feel myself slipping. It no longer seems worthwhile.
I'm too tired to fight today.
I am suddenly aware of how weary and worn out I feel right. The day has been too long for me already. And walking outside has only made me fall back into my thoughts and tire myself out again.
I don't have it in me to protest anymore. I don't want to burn through more energy to see it go nowhere. If he wants to carry me, he's going to hold me.
Just let it be.
"I could walk on my own, you know." I slump. My whole body slides down as my head rests on his shoulder. I am now a sack of potatoes.
"I know." Mykhol doesn't miss a beat. I cringe a little. He's doing that thing of his on purpose again.
But again, I don't have the energy to deal with him. I only slump further as I feel us move. Mykhol moves quickly, thanks to his long legs. He takes half the time it would take me to leave.
"Am I heavy?" I sneak a lookup after a moment. I expect I am. But to my surprise, Mykhol doesn't look bothered. He smiles. And the smile seems different than the one he usually makes.
"Of course not," Mykhol frees a hand to do something unexpected.
"Oh?" I gasp as I feel his hand. He is gently rubbing my back. It is oddly calming.
*Mykhol*
"Lord Mykhol?" The new maid around Mykhol's age, Naska, bowed, seeing them pass. Her eyes widened when she realized he was not alone.
"Empress Anastasia is-" Naska glanced up at the handsome teen. Mykhol smiled but pressed a finger to his lips.
"Shh, she just fell asleep." Mykhol walked past to see the maid blush. No doubt, she, too, was struck by his beauty.
Mykhol smirked but kept walking. Behind him, he could hear the maid move. She seemed to be in a hurry.
Likely to gossip. Mykhol smirked again. He squeezed Ana a little closer as he walked.
The more you gossip, the better. Mykhol knew this would spread across court by the end of the day. He could almost laugh at how easy it was.
Like eating out of the palm of my hand, Mykhol walked past the hall that was Ana's wing. He was heading straight for him.
And if anyone sees us go in there, they have even more to discuss. Mykhol smiled wider at the thought. He could already imagine what that would be like. Even if Ana were young, gossip would spread.
Again, this was all too easy- Mykhol stopped in his thoughts as he felt her shift in his arms.
"Hmm?" Ana opened her eyes, unfocused for a moment.
"Damn." Mykhol cursed under his breath. He had hoped Ana would have stayed asleep the whole way. But it seemed luck was not on his side there.
"This isn't my wing?" Ana gently cooed, still waking from sleep. She rubbed her eyes before sitting up further. Her face seemed to scrunch up with concern as she grew more awake.
"Cousin, you missed my-"
"Here we are," Mykhol stopped to open his study door. Again, Ana shifted as Mykhol walked in.
"This isn't my-" her head turned to look out the hall, but Mykol didn't let her finish. He was on a mission.
Mykhol sat Ana on the loveseat before joining her side. He quickly removed his shoes before stretching his legs over the coffee table. And he leaned back to lay his arm out behind Ana's head.
"Cousin, why did you bring me to your-?" Ana shifted, but Mykhol could already see ahead. Before she could even think to get up, he moved. His arm curled over her chest to pin her to him.
"Cousin!" Ana snapped, sounding angry. But Mykhol threw a skillful yawn.
"It's about time for an afternoon nap." Mykhol purposely closed his eyes as if to say he was sleepy.
"Nap?"Ana blinked at him, dumbfounded. But she was soon back to her senses.
"What in the world do you think you're doing?" Ana struggled and wiggled under him. But Mykhol stiffened his arm.
Ana wasn't going to leave until he wanted to. And Mykhol didn't plan on doing that any time soon. Ana would have to wait until then.
Something Mykhol could see Ana was not keen to do.
"Let me leave." Ana went with a kick of her legs. But Mykhol just laughed silently. It was funny how she thought that could hurt him.
She's as effective as a mosquito bite. Mykhol again had to laugh. But he was able to quiet his humor enough to pretend again.
"Relax," Mykhol yawned while showing his fangs.
"Just go to sleep." Mykhol shifted to pull himself closer. But he only had Ana stiffen.
"I.WANT.TO.LEAVE." Ana's voice was curt.
"I want to go back to my room-" her words froze when Mykhol slipped his hand underneath her collar. His fingers trailed the back of her neck. He lightly scratched and rubbed the skin.
"I-" Mykhol watched Ana stall. Her face seemed to be conflicted. She appeared to pinken as he rubbed.
She likes back rubs, does she? Mykhol smiled at the discovery.
"I said no." Ana shook her head after a moment. She again tried to push away. But this was fruitless. Mykhol knew he was too heavy. She couldn't push him off. But to make a point, Mykhol pulled her closer.
"It's just an afternoon nap," Mykhol continued to rub her.
"But-" Ana shifted but grew silent after.
"Fine," Ana eventually huffed. She again shifted, but this time, she was trying to make herself comfortable. Her head rested on his chest, and Mykhol could hear her breathing. It was soft and constant.
"This…"
"Feels nice, right?" Mykhol went to see Ana reluctantly nod.
"Yes." Ana's voice was soft again. Her anger seemed to have died away by now.
Good. Mykhol felt himself smiling at winning. His will was stronger. Ana was no longer fighting. He had won. And his euphoria only grew as he could see Ana slowly blink. She was growing tired again. Mykhol had to smile. She looked adorable right now.
Little Anastasia. Mykhol watched her eyes fight to stay open with a warm feeling in his chest.
"Do you mean this?" Mykhol stopped his hand for Ana to open her eyes. She glanced up at him.
"That feels nice too." Ana nodded to his hand. Mykhol smiled again.
"You never had a back rub before?" Mykhol half expected that to be true. Who would? With her hair and all? That's what he thought, at least. But to his surprise, he was wrong. Ana shook her head to say no.
"No, Maddie rubs my back. But I've never had anyone else do it." Ana closed her eyes to yawn.
The maid? Mykhol's smile fell a little as his chest tightened. It somehow bothered him that he wasn't the first.
"So," Mykhol pulled back his smile, "what do you think?"
"Do you like it when I touch you?"
"It doesn't feel…so terrible."
"I'm glad to hear it." Mykhol had to laugh softly. He started rubbing again. And to Mykhol's joy, Ana shifted closer to his touch. She cooed softly as her body began to soften. She was falling asleep again.
She's pretty soft. Mykhol could feel that warmth in his chest come back. Again, it felt good to hold her. Ana was just the perfect size and shape.
Sandalwood again. Mykhol noted the smell of the hair oil. On a whim, he moved to breathe it in. The smell was growing on him. Little by little, he looked forward to smelling it. It made his heart skip funnily.
But Mykhol liked that, too. The way it made him feel was addictive. He couldn't help but lean in for more.
"I'm glad you like me." Mykhol couldn't help himself.
"That-" Ana lifted her head suddenly at his tease. A quick exchange of emotions soon crossed her face. She seemed upset, then confused, and then, finally, tired. The fight in her was gone yet again.
"Perhaps I was a bit too harsh on you, cousin." Ana's voice finally came out. She lowered her head back down to breathe quietly. She sounded heavy as she spoke, as if drifting back to sleep.
"You're…not that bad."
"Perhaps?" Mykhol had to smirk again. She wasn't simply mean- she avoided him: she and that damn maid of hers. Mykhol could easily remember.
And I still have to punish that maid. Mykhol recalled but stopped as he heard Ana change.
"Cousin?" Mykhol looked down to find Ana fast asleep. Her heavy lashes were closed tightly as her eyelids shifted. She seemed to be already dreaming of something.
I wonder what she dreams of. Mykhol stopped his hand.
What would a girl like Ana dream about? Mykhol pressed his lips as his eyes regarded her red shawl. He sneered slightly at it.
"Where did she get such a stupid thing?" Mykhol tugged at her shawl. As he pulled, the cloak shifted off. Ana's silver began to slip out from underneath.
Does she dream of someone? Mykhol expressionlessly took up a strand of her hair. He brushed it over his lips. It was smooth.
"Do you… dream of me?" Mykhol's words fell in the quiet room. There was no answer. But he didn't want one. He didn't want anyone to know he could say it, either.
Mykhol moved to rest her head under his chin. She fit comfortably with her tiny head, and soon, his ears filled with her soft breathing. It was calming, and Mykhol couldn't help but find it tempting.
It wouldn't hurt anything. Mykhol closed his eyes as he rested his head on hers.
"If not, you should," Mykhol uttered before letting himself join Ana and sleep.