*Ana*
It's Maddie's sudden voice that breaks my thoughts. I see her sitting up and leaning into the window. Her face suddenly lights up, and she turns to me, breathless.
"Oh, Ana!" She starts, and I can feel her joy.
"Look out the window- Look how many came to see you, your Empress!" Maddie takes my hand and gives it a shake of excitement. I haven't seen her this excited since getting the invite. She is overjoyed.
"What is it?" I venture to appease her. I lean in, and Maddie scoots over to allow my hoop skirt room. I nearly fell back at the sight.
"So many." I blink, honestly confused.
"Why are there so many?"
"They're all here for you." Maddie chirps. Her smile widens.
"Everyone is excited to see you, your Empress!"
"To gawk at the spectacle, you mean," Mykhol looks out the window, but his face is flat. Even seeing all the people lined up, he does not look impressed.
"Now." Maddie huffs and narrows her eyes at him. Her smile waned a little as if she tasted something sour. But she quickly rallies back and leans into me.
"He's just jealous," Maddie goes, and I can feel myself smile. Perhaps he is, I think and look up at him.
Mykhol certainly doesn't look too keen on seeing everyone outside. His eyes dart over them as lines crease between his eyebrows. He's worried about something- maybe because he sees so many strangers.
But I feel myself soon to follow. My confidence dies as I look back out the window. There are so many new faces. I can't help but feel nervous.
The line trails far into the city from the castle. I see citizens shivering as they stand outside in the cold air. But what surprises me is the look on their faces. Not one of them looks miserable. If anything, they curiously look up to the carriage.
I see many weave and bob their heads to catch a glimpse inside. Some smile when they catch my eye as others wave. But others seem to throw something. It's red, and it takes me a moment to recognize the familiar flower.
"Why are they throwing roses?" I look up to see Maddie soften her smile.
"It was your mother's favorite." She goes to look out the window.
"My mothers?" I am surprised to hear and look back to see them keep throwing more.
They were her favorite? The idea strikes me deeper. Is that why she made the garden?
"I didn't know…" My words escape my lips as I watch them. They seemed to have an endless supply of red flowers.
"They're meant to soften your travel." Maddie squeezes my hand.
"Oh?"I blink, accepting it. But just as quickly, something pulls on my thoughts.
"But no one threw roses last time," I remember.
"What brought on this change?"
Is this a good sign or a bad sign? I feel I need to ask a question. But this is for sure: this is not how it was the last time I was here. Something has changed.
"Is that it?" Mykhol looks up with a scuff. His attention is on Maddie, and he grows annoyed.
"Are you not going to tell her the rest?"
"Cousin?"
Mykhol sounds testy. And I see them silently look at each other. Maddie seems to stiffen as if bothered by it.
"Maddie?" I hold her hand to get her back on me. She does it quickly with a smile.
"What does Cousin speak of?"
"Ah," Maddie smiles, shrinking slightly into a thinned-down line. She seems to fumble with her tongue a moment. But then she takes a breath as if decided.
"Empress, you see-"
"Roses have two meanings in Dawny, Anastasia. The first is how she put it. But the second," Mykhol pauses to smile at Maddie. It makes her twitch, and sits straight again.
"Maddie," I go.
"Is that true? Are there two meanings?" I see Maddie's smile thin out even more.
"Yes, Ana. There is another reason." Maddie breathes with a flat look back at Mykhol as if she doesn't want to say it. But Mykhol only beams an interested nod back.
"Yes, dearest Maddie, go on. Tell us." Mykhol prompts. He seems to be enjoying this.
"It's a warning," Maddie speaks.
"A traveler must be cautious lest they find the thorn, not the petal."
"The thorn?" I lift a brow and look between both. I can see outside the window. The crowd is smiling and waving at us. They look so excited.
But could the opposite be true? I can't help but find myself growing less sure. If I were to mess up, would something happen? Those smiles would turn unkind.
"That's right." Mykhol stole my attention back. He is smiling back at the crowd, but not kindly. On the contrary, it felt unnatural in some way. Either because his fangs were out. Or because his smile does not meet his eyes. They look at them as if distantly.
"Watch yourself, my sweet cousin. And try not to cause problems. You are a visitor. You aren't going to stay long." Mykhol warns with a slight edge to his voice.
"Yes, I know." I feel the words weigh heavily on my chest. I look back at my hands.
"I'm just here for his birthday."
I can not stay. I understand that I am not welcome. My stepmother was clear on that. I am only here to celebrate for Nicoli, and then I must go.
"Your Empress, it...don't write yourself off so quickly." Maddie tries to sound optimistic. She squeezes my hand to comfort me before shooting a look toward Mykhol. Again, it felt as if the two were staring each other down.
But there's no reason to. I already dismissed it and looked back out the window. Past the crowds, I can see the prominent structure looming closer. As if on cue, I feel the carriage begin to slow.
The castle. I remember from last time. We are now rounding the final yards. We are close enough that I can make out the grand stairs.
But this time, I see more than one person waiting on the platform. It is not just my Stepmother. I can see two others. It looks like the whole family is standing at attention. I make out Queen Belinda in her fluffed green dress. The others make me stall to take in the sight.
The tallest man has a beard. He is lean and tan with a gold crown over his full hair. The most remarkable thing about his face is his set of blue eyes. Blue eyes that seem to move frequently over the crowd.
There is someone at his side. He is holding his hand. I recognize him with one glance; it is Nicoli, and he is well-dressed. Nicoli wears a fluffy fur coat with a small gold crown. His face looks chubby between the white fur.
I smiled at the sight of him. It feels immediately good to see one friendly face. But my eyes shift back to the man next to him. I haven't seen him in a long time, but the beard gives him away. The man is none other than my father.
He looks so much sterner than I remember. I look over at his face. He seems so hard as he stands next to his stepmother.
Did he change so much? It has been four years. Four years is a long time. It could change anyone. The father I remembered could be nothing like the one now.
I feel my stomach clench at the idea. What was I about to walk into? I can't help but frown as I am nervous all over again.
"What...if this was a mistake?" I whisper to myself, but they must have heard me. Maddie tuts and throws her arms around me.
"Empress Ana-" Maddie starts, but Mykhol reaches for my hand.
"Then I will be here to save you," Mykhol speaks with certainty. He squeezes my fingers gently as if to give me more comfort. I do smile at that.
"Thank you."
"Anytime, Anastasia." Mykhol goes, and Maddie stiffens.
"Lord Mykhol, you-"
But Maddie doesn't get to finish. The carriage is beginning to rock. We are about to stop.
It is time. I know and feel myself holding my breath. We are finally here.
Above us, the coachman climbs down to open the door. He holds out his hand to help me down first. Mykhol follows behind me. Maddie is the last to leave. She moves to pick up my skirt to prevent it from dragging in the snow.
As I step down, I feel myself immediately need to straighten up. I can feel eyes all over me. The crowd is curiously drinking at the sight of me. I force down a dry gulp.
It's just like back home. I remind myself. I must not mind the stares.
Just keep your head up. I keep my eye forward and take a deep breath through my nose. I make my first step in the snow.
"Oh!" I gasp as my foot barely crunches the snow before a man's deep voice bellows up loudly.
"ANNOUNCING EMPRESS OF NOCHTEN AND DAUGHTER OF KING ALEXANDER, EMPRESS ANASTASIA!" The man in uniform motions for the musicians to raise a trumpet.
The instrument blares out a warning toot that follows other trumpets. And just as quickly as trumpets stop, the crowd is now up. I nearly fall over as they suddenly cheer from all sides.
"Wha-" I glance back to both Maddie and Mykhol.
"What is-" My voice gets lost in the roaring crowd. Maddie only smiles and nods forward. I follow her stare to gasp at the sight.
"What?" All I see is flashes of red. The sky is red with roses.
"They-" I feel my breath stop as the crowd throws more up. It's endless. I see more fly and fall just before me. They travel up the stairs. Again, I look back at Maddie.
'Go on,' Maddie mouthed, encouraging, Not a trace of fear on her face.
"Maddie," I feel braver as I return to the crowd. And then I look past them. At the very top, I can see all three still standing. They are waiting.
I can do this. I swallowed and began to walk forward. Mykhol and Maddie quickly followed each step. I can hear the snow crunch with every step. I take comfort in the side.
The closer I come, the better I see. My eyes darted over those above me. Stepmother smiles as father stands still with Nicoli in hand.
Nicoli seems to be the only one showing emotion. His face is bright as he looks back at me. He seems just as eager to see me as I do for him.
"Nicoli," I feel my heart skip at the feeling.
We're finally going to meet this time. I pick up my feet to start faster.
"Nicoli, I'm back-" I breathe as my feet crunch through the snow.
The crowd still cheers as I move. But the sound recedes to the back of my thoughts. My mind and eyes narrow down until Nicoli remains the only thing. There is no Father or stepmother. Everything is blurring out of sight.
I barely notice the new set of curious stares as my shawl rises with the wind. But it doesn't stop me. I can only see Nicoli growing closer.
It looks like he feels the same as I do. I see him fidget. His eyes keep returning to me. And he seems like he wants to run. The sight makes my heart burst with joy.
"Brother!" I reached the first step. My shoe climbs up without looking down. If I had, I would have noticed the rose. But I didn't, and the following chain of events moved so quickly that neither Maddie nor Mykhol had time to stop it.
I, being hasty, smash my foot into the flower. The petals mix with the snow to lose grip, and my shoe slips. I am no longer going forward. I am falling back. I twist around to throw my hands out.|Instantly, the sharp pain of the rose's thorns cut into my palms.
"Ah!" I cry, reeling back up. I hold them to my chest and whimper.
As I nurse my hand, I can feel something change. The crowd's cheers have stopped. Instead, they exchange worried looks amongst themselves. It isn't long before the whispering starts.
"She fell?" I hear someone nearby whisper. The shock is evident in their voice.
"Her hands fell on the thorns…." Another goes with more foreboding.
"Is this an ill omen?" I hear another whisper in the crowd. At that, my breath catches.
Have I already ruined everything?
I can feel my cuts already starting to heal. But now I find myself in a new problem all over. What have I done?
"No, I…" I try to speak, but my voice is so tiny. I suddenly feel the crowd growing bigger, and I'm shrinking.
"I, it-s, I didn't mean-" Tears begin to fill my eyes and break free. They sting my cheeks.
"What- no." I barely speak as I'm suddenly overwhelmed as they stare.
"Your Empress!" Maddie, meanwhile, seems to panic. She makes a move. But Mykhol throws up his arm.
"Let me go help her-"
"Leave it," Mykhol whispered through his fangs.
"If you help, it will only make it worse."
"You little- of course, I'm going to help her! Let me pass!" Maddie begins to argue as someone else calls over to stop them both. It is a shrill young voice that cuts through the air.
I look up in time to catch them break free. They are bounding down the stairs. Those blue eyes are dead on me as worry paints his face.
"Ana!" Nicoli cries and reaches for me.