"What? I don't have a story like that." I placed my chopsticks down as I wiped my mouth. We had gotten table to Nicholas's worry and influence tugged away at the back of the intimate hole-in-the-wall and it was the table he always got, because, according to his brother, he always had a table reserved for him and if not one was always cleared for him–this was like their other home. To be honest, I guess, what he was trying to clarify for me was that his brother was either too. . .honest, which I couldn't buy since he had taken the table, or just preferred the drama of getting us to rush and to blowing things out of proportion.
It was hard to tell as he had sat there most of the lunch with a face to stoic and limited words.
He was, as his brother continued to out him and showed just why siblings were mostly similarly cruel, always social whenever a situation required him to, and other than he was that 'stiff'. The words weren't mine and it was funny to listen to him trying to explain himself and trying to not come across as rude, but either way, some part of him, which was rather conscious enough, reminded me that I was only just an employee and these were not my friends.
I guess that was also the part of me that was both sour and petty, the one I preferred listening to and definitely, the one I used to steer through life because, maybe, it seemed more realistic than my heart–I wasn't one for taking chances. And judging by the faith I had always insisted I saw life through or acted as if I did, most of my life, I would say that, perhaps, I was nothing but a hypocrite. Saying I believed in this and that when I was nothing but a coward who hid behind the protocols of my religion just so I would not feel so bad about not trying.
I guess this was even an inappropriate place to thinking this way, but here I was, doing what I was always good at–pushing people away. Saying little that was enough to dismiss a person and keep a distance but still not be rude, though my message would be received.
It had never helped me much in my high school life or college and whether I hated admitting it or not, unfortunately, it had cost me many relationships and my marriage.
I couldn't do this to myself anymore and it wasn't as if trying would hurt me, they were genuinely being nice to me.
This was just a friendly conversation and I needed to stop overanalyzing things. We were there and I had just had the best chicken dumplings in my whole life. They were trying and they probably did this with the other staff members or the assistant that used to be there, I wasn't singled out and Nicholas had said he cared about his employees. I had seen him with the rest of the staff, sometimes, both of them, and Daniel was truly fun to be around–I was being uptight.
I needed to quit. "There's a story. . .and it's embarrassing."
"Is it good?" Daniel, the big gossip, arched his left eyebrow suggestively. I watched as Nicholas chugged down the glass of water and turned to the window, maybe it was far too interesting than my story which made me bite my lip as I faced his younger brother–it wasn't as if he was naturally meant to find me interesting.
He had gotten me some lunch and that was nice enough, despite how deflated the tiny excitement I had led myself to welcome just now. I refused to let my shoulders slump or to be disappointed as if I was some high school girl who longed for the attention of her crush-that was ridiculous. Instead, I leaned forward and began to detail the first time I had kissed a boy. To be honest, I wouldn't even call it kissing since my lips had only touched his lips for just a split second before he ran to his momma to tell on me as if I had tried to smear him with gems or something. Cody was his name if I remembering correctly, and we had been outside playing in the snow and he had been cute to me-I was seven and watched way too many romcoms.
He was pretty and I had been wondering just what it would feel like if I got a kiss the way that the pretty ladies in the movies did—
"And you did?" Daniel's eyes widened curiously, glistening playfully as he stopped me just before getting to the part where Cody had shoved me away and had run crying to his mother–I had cried myself.
"And why were you watching romantic comedies at that age?" Nicholas looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. "Weren't you a. . .little too young?"
I found myself blushing as I thought of myself at seven years old and immersed in romantic movies more than my teddy bears. "I. . .my older sister mostly made me watch them."
"Throwing your older sister under the bus? Who would've guessed?" Daniel let out an easy laugh.
"I'm not!" I found myself laughing as I covered my face. "She had my other sister and me on a Julia Roberts binge, I promise!"
Daniel's face was smeared with a bright grin. "The oldest always gets the blame."
"First guy, you scared away?" Nicholas offered me a soft smile. "Better than being dumped at nine years old and. . .crying about it for days, at least you're not that emotional."
"You were letting me tell the drama club story just so you could get the last round?" He folded his arms as he leaned into the rubbery seat.
"I had to win, this time," Nicholas said, casually. The sweet golden hue originating from the sun outside the window delicately soaking over the details of his face and warmed his brown eyes as it did his yellowish skin tone, accentuating the curling of his sooty eyelashes. I had to stop myself from staring and from probably delving further into his eyes which looked more closely to a burning auburn as the light washed over his face, "and if you find this childish, you're perhaps. . . right."
"I'm glad you're aware of that." Daniel tapped him on the shoulder.
Nicholas ignored his brother and rather chose to face me. "Are you. . .okay?" I followed his eyes as they fell to my side of the table and where I had downed almost most of my meal and of course, my cheeks betrayed me and I had to turn away because I was embarrassed that I had seriously eaten. "If you want more, we can just stay awhile."
"I'm–"
"You said you liked dumplings half as much as you like. . .chocolate," he mumbled as he let out a tired sigh, "I'm holding you to your. . .word."
"It's not like I vowed." I shoved one of my free curls behind my ear and wasn't even surprised as it resisted.
Daniel leaned forward and his usually gorgeous face beamed as he set his eyes on mine. "Your word's everything, Gracie."
I found myself scrunching my nose. "Food too?"
"Food too." They both agreed.
I found myself smiling. "The dumplings are good."
"Okay, so. . .you're full?" His deep voice almost vibrated against the table which was decorated with ceramic plates of food we had done more than taste–I was full.
"I will be the whole day." I smiled, quite taken back his care and how comfortable he seemed to be around me.
"Good then," he said, hiding somewhere in his head as he stared into my eyes, and then his lips parted into a soft smile, "we'll be ready whenever you are."
I didn't know what it was he always searching for in my eyes but I caught him as he leaned into his seat and smiled to himself.
I lowered my eyes and went for my napkin. "You guys come here often?"
"We've always come here when we were kids." I lifted my head and caught the light swimming in his eyes. It brought the whiskey tinge in his eyes quite richly and somehow managed to soften his eyes as he offered me a sad smile–I had hit home. I found myself opening and closing my mouth as if I were some fish. "My dad loved dumplings."
I could only offer him a smile. "You come here often then?"
"Most of the time." The light in his eyes sort of looked as if it was threatening to shatter.
I didn't why I even did it but I found myself reaching for his hand and by the time I realized what I was about to do he had already met my eyes. I felt more like a fish out of the water and felt quite silly for even crossing the line, though he offered me half of a smile. "You're going to be okay."
I found my words had caught even Nicholas as Daniel's warm hand made me so aware of him, comfortably, to my surprise. Nicholas's eyes were so heavy that I could only turn away, unable to hold the intense stare. "Your hand's so warm." I found myself turning to those whiskey brown eyes instead and met a warmer light as he looked at me with a question I could not say I could read. "You're very kind."
I snorted at his words without taking his words into much consideration. "If you say so."
Daniel offered me what came close to a grin. "Do you always avoid complements like this?"
"I try." I laughed.
I still could feel his hand as he ran his thumb against the top of my thumb comfortably. "I'm not very good at keeping compliments to myself."
"I see." He finally gave me a way to free my hand and went and sat it against my lap.
"That sounds very. . .questionable." Nicholas's voice tore through the upbeat tempo of my heart and for some odd reason almost sent it racing further to my embarrassment.
"You'd say that." Daniel patted his shoulder.
Nicholas turned to me, eyes less heavy and the light from the window touching them softly as they turned a shade of a deeper brown. "We should get going, you can continue flirting later."
I almost choked on on my spit. "Oh-kay."
"I'm supposed to meet up with Garry again." Daniel stood up paying no attention to his brother's comment, to be honest, it seemed as if I was the only one caring that much–maybe it was a joke.
"We're meeting the owners in two hours." Nicholas reminded me that I had an actual job and without meaning to, probably, made me feel quite insignificant as he reminded me that I was just an assistant.
"I will see you. . .at dinner."
"I don't–"
"She'll kill me if you don't show, by the way." Daniel slid his phone into his pocket.
"I'll see to it that she doesn't." He stood up and towered over me quite easily. I stood up on my heels, and came short to Nicholas's daunting height, and went for my bag immediately.
"You better, you haven't had dinner with us. . .in a long time." Daniel sounded quite disappointed but it wasn't my place to be eavesdropping and so I began to lead myself away from the table.
But of course, I heard Nicholas's comment. "She'll never forgive me, it's hard to see that in her eyes every time."