I didn't know why, I mean it had nothing to do with me, not actually, and I had mostly pushed a button just out of meer guessing, but still I found myself gleefully throwing myself into Nicholas's arms as I would my sisters or my mother and only after a moment of babbling breathlessly, and my heart stammering against my chest strongly, did it hit me–I had just hugged my boss.
I wished the ground could swallow me. "Sorry."
Nicholas simply stood there as if he was made of cement with his shoulders almost lifted as if he were a cat and his eyebrows arched sharply. I stood not that far from him as he sighed and let his shoulders fall as he tugged at his shirt, probably unsure just why I would be stay-out-of-my-business in one moment and practically bearhugging him, or something like it, by the next.
"I got carried away, sorry."I wiped my palms down my skirt as I stepped a bit away from him. "Congratulations."
I watched him as he shoved his hands into the pocket of his stylish trousers and for just a second I might have lost myself in the detail of their cut and became curious just how he kept such a style when both of our jobs weren't that exciting. I mean it was meetings upon meetings and maybe some tiny gaps for lunch or family for him and something similar and lots of coffee buying and answering calls for me–it was bland and. . .not entirely fulfilling to any degree. Especially for me and maybe just me–I couldn't assume for Nicholas. My life was dead and I did enjoy my family's company and was surprisingly more comfortable with my nephews, especially Tyler, he was great company and listened to me rant without judging, he was a baby practically and so that just went without saying. My life was then: Work, Tyler, Chuch, Momma, and my sisters. With lots of sugar-free candy, sometimes, and a newfound adoration for chicken curry and rice. And the gym because my sister was as persistent as the devil. Which to be honest, meant one thing–my life was not even a life. And I had to admit that I had no clue just where to start when it came to jumpstarting myself into living so fully as I used to again.
I hated admitting to a lot of things and ignoring them was the reason why my life was so stagnant–I didn't have it in me to move. To live and my family was trying too hard. Therefore I participated just so they could just quit worrying about me.
I wasn't a bad guy, but believe me, it was difficult to believe that or to trust myself.
Nicholas looked particularly paler and quiet today, but one couldn't say he said a lot or was that talkative. And I had put some rules between us and rules was great, they kept things in check and made me sound strict and uninteresting–they gave me space from people. Hence why there needed to be harsh ones between us, forgetting the fact that I had just hugged him and made him awkward and was awkward myself.
My turtleneck was tugged tightly into my long skirt and I guess so was his turtleneck as it showed off his long and lean and somewhat muscled arms. I forced myself to pay attention to that only because as much as his legs looked so long and lean themselves I was sure that I wasn't going to tempt myself or my head–better safe than sorry or awkward.
"Usually my little nieces. . .do that." Nicholas looked at me as if there was anything deep about hugging him-it was just a hug.
"What? Hug you?"
"My height made me stand out for most of my life." He bit into the words as his voice slightly roughened as his eyes stayed on mine. "I was that Asian kid, unfortunately. Height. . .accent."
I could see it. "Accent?"
He scrunched his nose slightly and at that moment he looked so much younger–vulnerable. "I wasn't born here."
"In Korea then? When–"
"It's a long story." He carried him so softly that they sounded as if they melted off his tongue.
"I'm sorry, I–"
He immediately interjected before I could say more. "If you begin with an apology you can just forget me telling you where I was born."
"I won't say sorry again, I'm sorry." I let out a soft laugh.
"You just said sorry."
I was sure as I was sure the moon was round that my ears were probably a nice subtle rose. "I don't want to say something stupid."
"I doubt you could."
I looked at him and without flinching or worrying about giving up first, I stepped forward. "You hold my intellectual capabilities in that much of a high regard?"
"You'd let people, for even one split second, see you as anything less but capable?" Nicholas challenged calmly, his eyebrows knitted together subtly. "You've put me in my place for trying pointing out the obvious, how much more for just catching a glimpse of any of your flaws?"
I sighed as I fought to stay in control and not roll my eyes. "I doubt you haven't already? Is it me or does everyone get to meet this. . . side to you?"
"What side?"
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're trying to distract me? You're very good."
"What? From drilling me further with questions or offering apologies?" Nicholas folded his arms and tilted his head to the side.
I found myself smiling. "Which one gets to you the most?"
"The latter." His eyes didn't falter, just like everything else about him at that moment.
"I'm being polite."
"There's so much you could say besides sorry."
"What if there's nothing to say besides–"
"Why do people do that?"
He had distracted me already. "Do what?"
"We'll hurry to be sorry for the pain they haven't caused but be so unwilling to admit to the one they do cause?" Nicholas posed a question so effortlessly that for a moment I might have even answered.
"Why are you trying to get to my head?" I questioned.
"You put it so. . .harshly."
"You take it so literally." I danced along the shores of the deep waters his eyes surely were.
"It isn't?"
I let out a sigh. "Congratulations on your deal."
"I heard you the first time. . .and was grateful to learn you were that happy about that." Nicholas shoved his fingers into his hair gingerly. "We're on the same team."
"You're getting the restaurant then." I shifted my weight to one foot.
He sighed. "It's not that simple."
"Really? Even after twisting their arm and–"
Nicholas was almost too quiet. "I'm talking about the baggage that comes with it."
Maybe I was being dramatic or seeing too much into his sentence but something about his calm tone and his words brought a slightly chillier shiver down my spine.
I found myself frowning. "What baggage?"
He let out a breath of laughter. "It's nothing I can't handle."
I nodded. "Okay."