I placed his coffee before him. "There you go."
"How was your date?" Nicholas offered me a smile as he brought a cup of decaffeinated coffee to his ample lips. Clothed in a soft grey turtleneck and loose-fitting and mostly elegant trousers which I could already guess were as costly as everything else he wore and to top it all of his slightly raven locks tumbled past his shoulder in careless waves. He leaned forward with careful precision and his eyes sat on me with that usual disinterest someone else who had learned better would be offended by, especially with the way his eyes were shaped and how carefully they sort of highlighted his outstanding and slightly round cheekbones so gracefully.
I ducked my eyes to the floor. "It. . .was okay."
I didn't know why he wanted to open a conversation with that nor did I want to humiliate myself by going into the details of my personal life and especially something like a date–that was reserved for my girlfriends. And my sisters who weren't going to let it go and were going to blow it out of proportion by assuming a date meant something more than just it is just a date. My sisters were nosy and often felt justified when it came to my personal life. My conclusion was really simple–being the youngest was sometimes terrible. But the worst thing wasn't my sisters currently, no. It was the way Nicholas was currently looking at me with his eyebrows knotted together tightly and his head tilted to one side.
"My cousin?" His eyebrows seemed to knit further as he leaned forward almost cautiously. The sun in its slightly gloomy and sluggishness caressed his face gently while it absentmindedly went ahead and slashed across my face, threatening to blind my left eye, right from where I stood and left me no choice but to close my left eye, momentarily, as it pierced through the glass. Fall was nice in its way, not least liked season but somehow it had never made it to my favorites and the weather was somewhat a bit cooler as we had bid farewell to a rather long summer–a season I found much harder to bear with. Maybe I didn't even have a favorite season then or there was something totally off with me, I didn't mind–I dreaded the fold nights I was to spend by myself. I wish I didn't worry about it as much but it was hard and even worse when all I could think about was all the should've been's and how this would have been my first Fall as a mother. What was done was done, I guess. My life had fallen apart and my dream had turned into one nightmare–everything sucked.
I sighed and without pulling myself under any further I simply lifted my head and looked at him. "Is that wrong?"
The corners of his ample lips slightly twitched. "Why do you always come to that conclusion? I'm just. . .curious."
"To know what. . .happaned between us?" I arched a brow with my arms folded.
His face was twisted. "No."
"What then?" I found myself looking at him straight in the eye. "You don't want me to sit down and. . .spill all the details about my date? It's not that. . .right?"
Nicholas let out a sigh as he rolled his eyes. "No."
I stepped forward quite cautiously until I was right before those soul-diving eyes, eventually. "What then? You're being a little vague and this is. . .embarassing."
"You're worried."
"About what?" I felt as if there wasn't a thing that flickered in my eyes he wouldn't catch and it annoyed me more than anything else–I kept my eyes to the cup of coffee in front of him.
"If he felt the way you did about the date."
I found myself shaking my head as a smile smeared itself across my face slightly. "I did say this was embarrassing."
"Why? I haven't been on a date in years."
"You want advice then?" I let out a very soft laugh. "Is that why you're this curious? Do want to go on a date? Need help. . .from me?"
The brown in Nicholas's eyes warmed. "I wouldn't be any fun. . .and don't forget the professional lines we'd be crossing."
My eyebrows immediately furrowed. "What?"
"You asked me if I wanted to go out on a date."
I wished the ground could swallow me as I recalled my words and how they sounded and portrayed which message essentially.
What stopped me from slapping myself was pride. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not going to lodge some formal complaint or anything. . .I promise." The soft light in his eyes warmed further as he was amused–I was far from it. I had humiliated myself without even being aware of it. "You made a mistake. . .of asking me out when you were the one who emphasized certain line."
"You're enjoying this."
"I'd never enjoyed your torture." He immediately put on a straight face while the soft light in his eyes betrayed him–he was enjoying this, no doubt about it. Soft lines settled along with the corners of his eyes as he continued to try not to smile. "I'm sure you had a good time, Ethan's. . .very decent to be around."
I tilted my head to the side. "Aren't you supposed to be looking out for your cousin? And. . .why are we even having this conversation?"
I watched him as he sat up straight, doing that thing where he rolls one shoulder and then sits back on that leather chair with his hands intertwined across his abdomen. "Ethan doesn't need my assistance."
"You sure?" I arched an eyebrow, careful as I watched him bring a hand to his hair.
"Why wouldn't I be sure?" He shut his left eye as he looked at me. "You've met Ethan."
I planted both of my hands on top of the table. "Ethan's your cousin."
There was a frown upon his lips though it didn't for long. "I'm aware."
"We shouldn't mention Ethan then." I sighed as I directed my eyes to where his jacket was hung. "We'll just end this conversation for both of our sakes."
"I'm fine."
"This is why. . .never mind." I ran my hands down my pants.
"You can say it."
I swallowed nervously. "Say. . .what?"
"It's just going to annoy me and. . .definately bother you if you keep it, by the way," Nicholas let out, eyes both shut. "I don't necessarily find it easy when people feel the need to be. . .careful around me."
"I'm your assistant." I felt the need to specify.
"You're still a person." His voice vibrated across the surface of the table and caressed against my palms in gentle tingles.
"It's just that. . .I've learned my place." I looked him straight in the eye. "I don't want to make this an uncomfortable and difficult experience. . .or cross a line in any way."
Nicholas slightly frowned. "What line? You're very good at your job and sometimes too good at it. . .but I'm just a person. . .people treat me differently already."
"We have a predicament then." I offered him a smile.
"We do?" Nicholas questioned.
"I've never had the best experience with employers. . .and you've never had the best experience with people." I dared myself as I looked at him. "I don't know, maybe. . .I could try and laugh at a joke or two."
"I'm only allowed just two jokes?" His face was close enough that I could see just how long his eyelashes were as they curled thickly.
"Two. . .and maybe a conversation that doesn't involve dates."
"That's it?" I arched an eyebrow.
"No more trying to set me up for these fancy business lunches." I arched my eyebrow further.
"Why not?"
"You're my boss. . .and shouldn't be doing me any favors." I folded my arms.
"Technically, I'm doing myself a favor. Think about how it looks for me," he said.
"How?"
"Grace, you're way too educated to even be my assistant." He leaned forward with a frown on his face. I watched him as he picked up the cup of coffee quite skeptically. "Every time I get a cup of coffee from you. . .I feel bad."
"It's my job."
"It shouldn't be." Nicholas lowered his head.
"Stop trying to help."
Nicholas's lips dropped further and gifted him with an even more sour expression. "Why?"
"It's not going to end well."
"You'll feel indebted to me." Nicholas sighed.
"I'd hate to be because. . .no help's ever free." I lifted my head and looked into his eyes as they met.
"I don't expect anything from you."
"If I accept your help I'll always worry about that and. . .whatever comfortable professional relationship we may. . .have could suffer." I stepped back from his desk.
"Okay, I hear you." He nodded though I could tell he wanted to argue further.
"Want any more coffee?" I offered.
He ignored my question and sought after another thing. "Ethan? Of all of my cousins? You of all women?"
"Why? Are we a horrible match? And. . .it was one date," I let out, trying to keep a straight face as I watched him slightly twist his face. "I'm not marrying into your family, don't be miserable."
"You'd be marrying to the other part of the family and–"
"I'm not marrying your cousin!" I cried out as I chuckled. "It was one date."
Nicholas folded his arms as he leaned forward. "It all starts that way, doesn't it? One date and then–"
"You don't even know how it went," I interjected immediately.
"I'm sorry it went terrible then."
"I'm not saying it did and. . .you're so frustrating sometimes." I rolled my eyes at him.
"I like getting under your skin."
"You might not get your coffee." I narrowed my eyes at him and earned a light chuckle. "And you know how much I just love decaffeinated coffee."
"Caffein's bad for you, anyway."
"Ethan's a great guy, by the way."
I folded my arms as I smiled at his compliment. "This the part where you warn me not to hurt him?"
"He's a great guy, I mean it."