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Chapter 2 - Pasts

That night when we made love not as two woman or spiritual leader and student but also as love, I could feel her teardrops fall on my face after our talk. She was sobbing as she loved me I could tell by seeing her face tear soaked approach my face in kiss. She said that she was sorry for crying so much while making love to me too me. As I caressed and held her face she caressed my bosom and my woman hand as we made out in the corner. Just as I was going to kiss her she turned away.

"I know you were tortured in that religious school, Farrah."

"I really don't want to talk about it," she sera assertively. "Please leave habibi "

"Ok if you want me too" I said straightening my clothing and hijab.

"I don't want you to leave habibi" she said. "I can't handle this right nowl she assured me first time hiding her face, obviously she had an acid scare from her time in the the religious school. But she was still striking beautiful as paradise.

"You not know what it's like to go nearly blind from tears of blood coming from your eyes." She said. "Lucky you"

"I am lucky to have you in my life, Farrah!"

I reached out my hand to show I care but she slapped it away." You know what it is like to when gut your self with you grandfather's sword"

Right there I was horrified that she might kill her in such a grosem manner so i did in the moon shadows and sleeved on a rug. That next day she ask why I was still here. I told her that I couldn't live with out my Nur. She was pointing the same sword that she treatened her self with last night. I got up and pushed the sword wielding hand and took her took her into embrace and attempted to kiss her. "Because I love you Farrah Layla," I don't know what to do with her teachings or with out her love and her touch."

She dropped the sword and when to kiss me. "I love you too aygul do you want to make love too me."

"Yes I do," I said.

"Aygul I want to make you might bride and made love you day and night!" She said.

"You want to marry me," I blushed

"Yes I do," she took my hand and lead me downstairs to her living conditions which were in squalor. Farrah then shut the windows and lit candles. "Aygul I wanted you and your love for as long has i live the love of a woman?"

She undressed me and as she undressed her left and pulled me closer to her body. The blood left my head as I realized that she loved me.

We kissed deeply but tenderly as moved to the bed. She was going to be my first the one I lose my innocence to. A part of me was happy but frightened.

She laid me down and started to carasse my womanhood with her mouth as she groped my bosoms. She the cares my bosoms with her mouth and tounge. Then she caressed my lips. I could taste the love and desire in her breath as she'd me.

"Aygul, I love you dearly and you brought me something that I have never thought of praying for in my life wow. I want you to know that your very special to me. That's why I want to take you to Mecca to share you with you my religion our religion. In a loving manner."

I thought that was sweet of her to say that but I was too busy making love to her to respond.

As I am busying loving to her she kept saying that she wanted to take me to Mecca to taking part in the hajj. I asked her about it if she went to Mecca for the first time before and she said yes as a small child one she was in the religious school that was the only good thing about it she said. She hung her head low As if the memories are starting to come back to your house as if you need a bodyguard to be with her or at least I want to know that she loves her at least love and support her.

Farrah than one to say that she wanted to actually live in Mecca with me So we can at least go to the lessor pilgrimages. I kept telling her that I was afraid of the haram police, that they Will be there in the roles as it was on the holiest city in Islam and I was afraid of getting caught being with a woman. She told me she didn't have to worry yourself so she did I didn't have to worry myself either.

" why aren't you afraid of the religious police," I asked.

" because they were the ones that put me in the religious schools were kissing a girl and they were the ones that tortured me and they don't speak for the real Islam like I do." She said.

Oh Farrah how I wanted you too. But just didn't know it I thought.

She went on to say there was a more of a spiritual thing for her than a religious thing we're just meeting you have to do it's weird for me and you want to do it. She always said that she loved her religion or spirituality more than she loves anything else except for me until she met me and saw me for the first time.

What is this OK so true love at first sight. I won't know what she was in love with me dearly. Pretty soon I was crying at the thought of her words so beautiful and flower and elegant. I wanted to kiss her.

"I know what you're thinking you can kiss me if you want I'm here lover," she said. She leaned in and tried to kiss me but I grabbed her by the hair and cursed her back. I've never been so passionately in love with anyone nor online woman.