I thought almost everything that a little mind could think. I thought of bringing back a good fortune to my grandma. I even thought of going to work with my grandma. Thinking all those things, broad daylight turned into pitch darkness. Kaale didn't leave me for a single second. All-day we tried to look into each other's eyes and escape from each other's eyes. I know he was not able to come out of that trauma which he had witnessed. We didn't need any language to understand each other. We could easily read our feelings without any words. He could assassinate anyone who would be a threat to me. He has guilt inside him that he was not able to protect me from those devils. We just tried to look at each other for the whole day without any spoken language.
I said to him, "It's not your fault Kaale. Don't hurt yourself. We'll bring back our time"
Silence spoke so many things inside that limited space.
Soon grandma opened the door. Unlike every day she came with a handful of grains and few potatoes hiding in her ragged clothes. She prepared food for us and we were content to fill our hungry and empty stomach.
"Grandma, how difficult is your work?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"I want to come to work with you. I want to help you."
"You are small now. You're destined to do something big. Wait until your time comes."
"No, I want to come with you and help you."
"I can't take you with me. It will be very difficult for you."
"Bhairav can do anything. I'll not trouble you, grandma."
"I'll just take you for a day. Then you'll never ask me to come with me."
I was happy because at least for a day I'll be with her. I'll know how she works. She might be surprised hearing all these things. Maybe she even thought that I became mature before my maturity. I couldn't sleep for the whole night due to my over-excitement. I woke up before my grandma the next morning. She would not take me with her if I was asleep. I knew it for sure.
"You are already awake. You don't have to come with me. It's very cold outside"
"Even if it is for one day, let me come with you."
She took out every piece of clothing that could make me warmer. It was still dark outside. Kaale also stood at the door to accompany us. Smog and frost welcomed us when we opened our doors. But they were too tiny to hold my way. We walked for about an hour, we reached the village of high caste people.
We entered the compound of one house. It was still dark. She asked us to sit in the corner. We sat aside and kept on watching what she did and it really broke me into pieces. It was that difficult to earn food. I never realized it.
It was a freezing morning and I was not able to feel my fingers. But she swept the whole floor at first. Then she went to a cowshed nearby and came up with some cow dung. In a broken pot she put that cow dung and mixed it with water. She brought a piece of ragged cloth hanging nearby. She dipped that cloth in the pot and started to paint the whole floor crawling on her knees.
"We are done here Kalu, Let's go."
We went to eight other houses and she repeated the same thing. I and Kaale just stood aside helplessly and watched her work. It was unbearable for me to see her in that condition. She didn't stop working. She worked continuously one house after another.
The land was still white full of frost and fog and refused to disappear. There was a pile of dirty dishes left to be cleaned. I could hear some enchantment of hymns and the sound of a bell inside the house. Maybe they were trying to please the god. Grandma cleaned all those dirty utensils. After some time a lady stepped out of the door and grandma greeted her. I was feeling hungry but I didn't say anything to her.
"My son is hungry. Do you have anything to eat?" She gave a stern look at her and looked at me.
"Why did you bring this beggar here? You scroungers just know how to eat. Do your work first." Those words were really like a stone left from a catapult with an absolute accurate strike. Grandma didn't speak anything. She went inside and came with two roti.
"You lubber, take it, and eat to your satisfaction." She threw it towards my grandma. Grandma took it and then we moved away. On the way, she took half and gave one and a half to us.
"Eat this. We still have to work for the whole day." Roti was stale and very hard to chew but we had to eat. Hunger was harder than a piece of roti.
The whole day till evening we went to different houses. She wiped the whole floor, cleaned all dirty utensils, and washed all unclean clothes. Everywhere she just got harsh words not a single warm word of appreciation for her hard work. After finishing her work, some gave her little grains, some few potatoes, and some old ragged clothes, and some just rebuked with their free words. Grandma simply took whatever she could get and endured every word that was more painful than a bullet. It was already dark when we reached home. This day had a huge impact on me and I promised myself that I will turn our futile land into fertile and grow everything that we need to survive.
The land was wide open and very hard full of stones. I decided to collect all the stones and make a boundary wall. The stones there were no bigger than my willpower. Days passed by and Kaale and I started to accumulate all the stones to mark our boundary.
"What are you trying to do? Leave it, you can't do this and I'm too old to do it."
"I'll do it, grandma. This land will feed us and you don't have to go anywhere."
I knew that grandma didn't believe me at all but she didn't try to stop me again. With my tiny hands, I started to make a small wall. Seasons changed as per its discretion, and with every change in season, we marked our boundary. I penetrated the heart of the earth using mattock and hoe with my tiny hand to excavate all the hidden rocks. It took a long time but our land was free of stones and it looked energetic and fertile like a new bride.
One day I was working on the field and I saw three boys marching towards us. I didn't care about them and continued with my work. They approached nearer and started to kick on the wall and stones fell off on the ground. I couldn't tolerate it and I protested against their act.
"Why are you kicking on my wall? This is not the way for you."
"You untouchable pig, how dare you to talk to us like that? This wall came on our way and we broke it. We will break you too if you try to come on our way."
"I don't want any trouble. You've already damaged my wall. Go away now."
"How dare you command us? We have to teach this dust a great lesson, guys."
One of them kicked me with his flying legs on my chest and I immediately fell on the ground. I was soon covered with dust. They kept on laughing. Ha, ha, ha, he needs some more.
"Get up you filthy beggar."
I was not a coward and I didn't want this. I strongly need to retaliate at this humiliation. I am Bhairav and Bhairav doesn't tolerate any kind of injustice. I got up from the ground and dust from my body was floating in the air. He again lifted his leg to kick me but this time I caught his leg and pushed him hard and he fell on the ground. He was knocked on the ground so badly that he couldn't get up. Another stride in rage towards me and punched on my face. He tried to grab my hair but I caught his hand firmly and landed my fist on his face. He immediately landed on the ground with his bleeding nose. Looking at this incident, the third one didn't come near to me. After some time they both got up and teamed up with the third one but didn't dare to counter me again. They just gave me a nasty look and I returned the same.
"Wait here, we'll throw you out of this village."
"Go and cry to your father. If you come back to this land again, you'll be a dead man." I was not worried about them whether they would return or not. Well, they didn't and I was busy with my own work.
I never celebrated my birthday but with my growing age, I became more muscular, determined, and powerful. I was thirteen years old and by this time I was able to take care of my land. I was able to grow enough crops for me and my grandmother. Grandma, at this age, was not able to go out and work. She began to fall weak and she was completely baffled to see me gaining strength and the beauty of our land. In this way days passed by and I made a beautiful flower garden full of all kinds of flowers in our yard. I didn't have anything to do with the rest of the villagers and I was a complete stranger to them. But some of them used to come to me to ask for flowers and they said that they would offer those beautiful flowers to god. I really used to wonder, god can take the flowers that I grew up with my hand but I can't even go near to him. But these things never bothered me as I had plenty of things to do. My grandma used to clean their houses, wash their dirty utensils and clothes. They could happily use the labor of my grandma but they couldn't appreciate her.
One day grandma told me to go out of home and see the real world.
"You are grown up now. You should go out and see the real world outside this house."
"This is my world. You, Kaale, and our land is my world. I don't have to go anywhere. Who will take care of you if I go out?"
"Your destiny is not to stay in this fragile world. You have to achieve many things. For that, you have to go out"
"But I can't leave you and don't tell me to go away. I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm not sending you away but time will come when your destiny will call you and you'll have to move on."
I didn't understand what she was trying to say but I was happy with her. I was unaware of what the future has to offer to me but for now, I was happy with the growing crops and the heart-throbbing fragrance of my flowers.