We would look back again and again and see the places that we have just left. It was a long way for us to return. With him, I never had an empty stomach. Even in the deep jungle, he would take out something from the plants and we would enjoy eating. He was truly a magician. He knew everything about the world and maybe about my future as well which he never disclosed. After walking for several miles, we reached the field of mushrooms. It just looked like a big white hat that could provide shelter to several other insects with its cool shadow in the crouching sunlight.
"Are you hungry?"
We have not eaten for almost eight hours now and we were simply dependent on plain water. I said, "Yes, a little bit". He took out those white little umbrellas carefully and said, "You can have this". I was surprised. I have never eaten those things. When he saw me confused, he ate some of them and said, "Eat like this". We were starving so we enjoyed those white tiny flowers to the fullest. While we were eating he added, "You have to be careful while eating these because some of them can take away your life instantly". I didn't understand which ones were poisonous and which one was edible. I just enjoyed whatever he gave to me.
"Do you see dreams?"
"Not really, maybe sometimes but I don't remember".
"Today let's see something and feel it coming true". I didn't understand what he was talking about. We were on the top of the hill and it was already dark. We put our tired bodies on the wide rock. He took out something from his bag. It was a similar kind of a white mushroom but it was colourful and smaller in size. "Once you consume it, you can experience whatever you would like to feel". He took some and I ate a little. Immediately after consuming it, I was in a different dimension. I could clearly see and count all those glittering stars. I could make so many faces joining the stars that might have some meaning or be completely meaningless. The sounds of the birds were clear and alluring and I could understand the communication between them. And suddenly it took me somewhere and I saw;
An adamant old durbar with its standing legacy stood in hubris in its square in the middle of the city. It represented itself as an unprecedented kingdom of heaven in the heart of the city teasing all other mosaics with its dominant glow. It was simply one of the extreme masterpieces of Nepa Valley. The durbar and its yard were more than a replicated showcase of heaven itself and it was simply a forbidden kingdom for the infidels like me.
To the south of this majestic durbar, beyond its yard was a deep river flowing from east to west. The boundary flourished till the edge of the river. Over the river was a golden heart-throbbing bridge that was solely for the royals. For the ages, no royals had trodden on it and it remained isolated with its fading beauty. But the golden bridge has its own story to be told as it witnessed the divine love fallen into the debris of blood and utter silence mixed in that deep red river.
On the other side of the river was wide open green vegetation full of life with varieties of flora accompanied by a lonely hut thatched with straw. Even butterflies were aware of their boundaries and they never dared to cross that roaring tigress which created a harsh line between a shining star and a doomed ghetto. They could stretch their wings only till the edge of the river and return with despair and their unquenched thirst of overpowering that river.
I am working in broad daylight where cool shades and air have no life and I am trying to water those tiny saplings I have planted. The rain has cursed me and the scorching rays of the sun embrace me. I am all covered with my own smelly stinking sweat and my torn Dhaka topi struggles to fight against the sun to protect me. My widely patched waistcoat teases me for my poverty and my white trouser that has already gone black ignores me. I've never even heard any whisper of felicitation in my favour but I'm still graceful on my own with me. On my shoulder is a big Kharpan and inside it, there are two wrinkled tins with numerous tiny holes on each side. I fetched water from the river and till the time I reach my saplings, water deceives me and pours out like a fountain on the way. Again, I rush to the river and the same act continues again and again. Eventually, my plants are fed with what they asked for.
I always ignored durbar because it was beyond my imagination and it always rampaged my own identity for being alive. But my eyes could always notice that wide personified glass window throwing all its tantrums on me. Unwillingly and unknowingly with a subconscious mind, I would be automatically pulled towards it.
But this day was different, maybe it has to offer some drops of rain in my deserted soul. This old world looked different this time. I could see a new world and my glowing flowers looked more elegant trying to propel me for something and I felt a new heartbeat. I had never noticed all these things till the time when my nose struck with the powerful fragrance that made its way from the same window crossing the mighty river and knocking my heart through my nose.
I became so restless with its aroma that I could not notice when my Kharpan found its place on the ground off my shoulder. My eyes wandered around to locate the master of that scent and my tired eyes finally found their destination on that window. I could feel turbulence inside my heart when I saw that glorious waving black cascade and a snug white dress. I became so desperate to see that divine face and for a moment I almost forgot myself. But that heartless, merciless glass window became my worst nightmare and intimidated me with its dazzling reflection and I had to impel my hands to cover my eyes.
I kept on struggling for her glimpse and something amazing happened. All of a sudden scorching sun was all covered with the shades of clouds. She slowly curled her hair around her slender neck and I could see that splendid piece of the moon on earth in front of me. She is more beautiful than any angel that I could have imagined which I never did. I bounced on the ground holding my heavy heart. In a short span, my clouds which always used to be dark filled with the delighted colours of the rainbow.
She didn't notice anything but I made my own world till the time I could hold that moment. I ran to the bridge and I saw that fading golden bridge gaining back its colour. I was forbidden there but I could break that iron chain of a cage and run through it. Bridge welcomed me in its own sway as it found a companion after a long time. Soon I found myself in her yard, down her window, holding her hand on my knees, staring into her eyes, and lost in seventh heaven. Even those butterflies escorted me and found its exuberance and tasted the flourishing nectar and were all content with their life for the first time.
My castle of glass broke when an antagonistic scorpion king made me realize my ruthless reality with its soft sting. I woke up from my dream when I saw my dark blood pouring from my arm assimilating with my sweat and floating towards the ground. I picked up some handfuls of earth and put it as an ointment on my wound and left it to heal. I was neither a theist nor an atheist but I looked up in that wide blue sky and thanked that mysterious almighty. He might have felt pity for my desolation and just wanted to let me know that I do have a pounding heart. And I asked myself, 'Did I leave it far behind?'
I couldn't work for the day. I got up from the ground, picked up my leftover saplings and put it in my squeezed tin inside my Kharpan, and marched towards my isolated shack. I never felt this way and was very happy with a wide smile and my yellow teeth. I took everything as serendipity and while walking I was singing like an expendable singer as there was no one to listen to it.
Hmmm....
I kept on burning without a fire
It's not your fault
You couldn't sense any smoke
You are a princess of a castle
I am a doomed phantom of the dark alley
You've all cosy luxuries for your comfort
My only comfort is my own distort
It will be my destiny
If I see you again
And it is too much for me
To think of us in the same den
You are a princess
You've to be with a charming prince
I'm an outcaste peasant
And I've my own misery to drink.
Hmmm....
We woke up the next morning. What did I see? What was it trying to say? Who is that girl? Was it trying to warn me about my future? I explained all these things to him and he just said, this has to do something with your past or future. I didn't know anything about such a wonderful girl in my past. It can be for the future, but for that, I have to live to see that day. And, Yes indeed this mushroom was a magical one.