[ELLIS' POV]
As he moves closer and I'm already closing my eyes, waiting for him to kiss me but I felt hands on my cheeks. I thought he's going to kiss me but he just squishes my cheeks.
But this is not what I want. I want something more, Eros. I looked into his eyes and I want him to know how much I want it.
"W-what?" I said and he made a pouty face.
"Why are you closing your eyes?"
But I thought he's going to make his move but it's just my expectation. In reality, he just squished my cheeks.
Oh, Eros, you're making me wait.
"N-nothing," I say to him.
"Are we clear about our relationship now?" I put an expressionless face to him and I know that we are very clear about our relationship now, but the thing is, I have a feeling that he's keeping his feelings out for some reason.
He's controlling his feelings for me and I want to open that up and make him see what he truly feels.
"That we are brothers in benefits?"
He pinches my cheeks hard and lets go of them and said, "No!"
He chuckles and seeing him laugh, makes me laugh too. We may still have missing puzzles but I guessed it will be resolved soon enough.
I want to be resolved real soon because I really want him to love me the way he wanted to for a long time now.
"So, can I kiss you?"
"No." He said and empty his canned beer.
"Can I kiss you now?"
"No."
"Why?" I pout and he stood up from the bench and I've noticed that he already finished the beers.
I checked mine and it's already empty as well. He grabs the cans and walks inside the penthouse. We forgot to take turns to drink our beer when we tell our story!
"W-wait!" I said and follows him from behind.
"Can I kiss you now?"
But teasing him would make him feel that I'm into him which is very true and I want him to realize that. And it would be fun for him to have a little cute game.
"No, El, you can't."
"Awww, why not?"
As soon as he throws the cans into the garbage can, he turns around and looks at me.
"I have a spare toothbrush in my bathroom, you can use it." He said and he went to his room.
"Where can I sleep?" I asked.
"In my bed."
"Really?" My eyes lighten up, feeling a bit excited and he continues, "And I'm going to sleep on the sofa."
"What? But why?" I pout again and I let myself collapsed to his bed, showing him how good I am in the bed.
I laugh deep inside, just thinking about that.
BUT, he didn't reply.
He looks at me and quickly went out.
If that's the case, I can sneak around beside him and sleep with him. Wait, is that even legal?
•••
As soon as he said good night to me, I lay on his king-sized bed and stares at the ceiling.
"How can I be here when the owner is there?"
I said to myself.
Should I sneak now?
I giggled at myself. But wait, am I having fun? I mean, he doesn't want it but I want it, so is this considered as forcing someone to kiss me?
No, no.
I'm not horny anymore, so it's okay for me to not kiss him for now. Maybe, I'll just sleep beside him. That's okay for sure.
I stood up from the bed and I slightly open the door, I take a peek at him laying on the sofa but he's moving.
He can't sleep? He moves to the right and the left. Maybe, he just can't sleep.
I open the door and went outside, I crawl to him slowly to surprise him.
When he moves to his right, his eyes widen when he sees me, "El! What are you doing?"
"Can't sleep?" I asked and I sat on the floor.
"I'm having trouble sleeping."
"Did you just experience this?"
He puts his hand over his head, sat on the sofa, and says, "This happened when I went abroad, maybe it's because of the weather there and then I went here. It changes my body clock."
"You'll get used to it." I smile and I'm helping him to rub his head, "Do you have medicine for that?"
"I already took it."
"Okay. But you still can't sleep, right?"
I sat beside him and I looked at him, knowing that he can't sleep these past few days made me feel like the worst brother he has. I should take care of him, instead of throwing myself to him.
"I can sleep beside you," I say and he looks at me like he doesn't believe me.
"El, there's a big bed over there." He points at his room and I answered him, "I just liked it here."
He didn't reply and I just lay on the sofa, waiting for him to stay beside me, "If that's the case, then, I'll stay on my bed instead."
He's about to go but I grab his arm and let him lay on the bed, "W-wait!"
"E-El, why are you being lively tonight?"
"I-It's just, it's because... I already told you about my feelings and it made me feel better."
He touches my cheek again, "I'm sorry if I'm acting like this to you. I still don't know what to do after you told me about your feelings."
I smile at him and explains, "It's okay, Ros. I know that I don't want to be your brother anymore because I want to be more than that, but... we've been there, like brothers, so, I can still be your brother, right? I will take care of you too like you always do."
He pinches my cheeks, "Thank you."
I collapsed myself to him, I hugged him tightly and I just want to stay like this forever.
"E-El."
"I just miss your smell," I say to him and I close my eyes and let this moment not go to waste.
•••
[EROS' POV]
When he collapsed onto me, I'm quite shocked at how much he grew. Should I ask his weight? I laugh to myself.
Before, he was skinny and little but now, he gains weight and grew fast. I still remember the times when I carry him on my back because he usually has bruises on his knee because of running during our physical education activities.
He hugs me tightly and he didn't move. I couldn't move too, he stops my arms using his hands and his whole body is in front of me, wrapping himself.
"I just miss your smell." He says.
I looked at him, his face is facing me, he already closed his eyes and I can see his eyelashes.
"Me too," I whisper through his hair.
I make my arms free by moving his hands and instead of waking him up, I hold him and embracing him like a child.
I'm happy but quite sad. This is what I want but it cannot be. I want to be free and love him as much he loves me, but it shouldn't be like this. Being with him right now, I think I can sleep better tonight.
•••
Ring! Ring!
As soon as I woke up, hearing my phone ringing, I sit up, and I noticed that Ellis is still sleeping.
Ring! Ring!
I grab my phone to see who's been calling me.
When I saw it, I stood up from the sofa and went to to the balcony.
Ring! Ring!
It's from an unknown number.
I answered it and when I heard his voice, I'm sure I already know who it is.
"Sir. It's been a while since you last called."
I said to him.
"I'm sorry, my phone broke and I need to change to a new one." He said.
"How have you been?"
"Everything's okay, it is according to what we've talked about."
"Thank you. All this time, you've been with us, for a long time." I lean against the wall and conversing with him makes me feel at ease.
"Eros, I should be the one to thank you for taking care of Ellis. You are like my son, you know." I can feel that he's smiling over the phone.
"I would do anything for him."
"I know, until then, thank you for the sacrifices. I couldn't have done this without your help." He says.
I smile, "You don't have to worry, sir. As I've said before, I've promised to protect him."
"Thank you, Eros. I will see you soon."
"Thank you for believing in me, sir Vanderborg," I answered and he hangs up.
I took a deep breath, exhaled.
I went inside and I still see him sleeping, he's been struggling all this time to cover his feelings for me. I know it's hard to keep everything from the one you love.
But, if it is for the better, I would rather keep everything than lose him.
•••