The horrors of the war - no one talks about them. Even the men when they return to their wives beds after a prolonged fighting overseas never say anything about what they saw or encountered for it's unspeakable and inhuman. I had to bear seeing my grandfather fighting off the nightmares he was having everyday after coming from the war - but from time to time he would say to me "war is never a pleasure situation for a human to be in"
"Why would you say that grandpa?" I would ask him.
"My beautiful Mingzhu. Pray that war never comes to your kingdom, pray for peace and quiet for the war is loud and horrifying" he would say holding my face in his arms.
That night of the war everything he said came to me in pieces - while I was slaying the rebels with my scarf on and my uniform which had a Qianlong sigil attached to it, I heard the most terrifying noises. That scream a human being makes before dying - that agony which is unmatched remained inside my head like a memento and I knew there was no erasing it ever.
It was such an intense fight I've ever seen in my entire life, general Chun came prepared and proved to everyone that the numbers weren't everything and gave prince Dao a hell of a defeat between him and his generals army. The men were slayed by such sharp swords like chickens for a moon celebration - when we were overwhelmed I tried to convince the prince that we should retreat as it was too dark for even the men to see who they were fighting.
"We should fall back Your Highness! We can't win this war, we shall continue at sunrise" I tried to convince Prince Dao.
He looked at me with his arrogant and self-absorbed look - that look like I was nothing and he knew it all even when he witnessed his men being slaughtered by many. One thing I noticed about the prince's army was that it was made by men who had the worst martial arts skills I've ever seen - Dao himself was good with his sword but not his men. They went after General Chun's men and fell off in seconds, some didn't even know how to properly handle a sword.
"We don't fall back. We keep attacking" He said to me and then he turned back to his remaining army. He rode his horse slowly - and in circles trying to win the morale of his army.
"Qianlong Emperor men!" He shouted.
"Long live crowned prince" they replied with haste.
"Tonight isn't the night these savages win over us. Tonight is our night, we fight for our city, we fight for our families and we fight for his Majesty..."
The men applauded him and if applause from the armies won wars then prince Dao would've won that war that night. But his men knew better to applause him that to fight for him - I however thought that General Chun was walking into a trap and I feared for his life and his men but then I realized he was actually the smart one for he must've really surveyed the prince for long to know where his weaknesses were and where to attack him most.
When the fight was intense I fled the battlefield, but I made sure no one saw me for I didn't want to be held accountable for anything that would happen to the stupid prince. So I raced my horse through the deep valleys out of the city to more grassland areas where I was sure that no one would notice who I was and I made sure to abandon the uniform and remained only with my male robe and the scarf which covered my face.
I arrived at a new city which later I learned that it was called Yazuka, the name didn't interest me at first when I arrived overly exhausted and I nearly fell off my horse before a strange man helped me and brought me inside his house. It was afternoon and the heat of the day - plus being thirsty took me out. The man was very kind, he gave me water and food he could spare.
Then he brought me up a bowl of hot water with a piece of cloth. He massaged my wounded head with the cloth and I grunted slowly feeling the pain hitting my skull.
"What's your name young man?" He asked me.
"Jang Li"
"Huh Jang Li. Do you come from a war South?"
I slowly nodded and he kept on asking me questions after questions about Tong'an. How was Tong'an like, how beautiful was it and he kept telling me how it was his dream to travel to Tong'an but just the strict rules of Qianlong managed to keep him away. He then told me to tell him everything about the war - and he wanted all of it in details.
I faked a sleep so as to avoid his questions, even when he called me "Jang Li! Jang Li are you asleep?" he asked and I didn't say anything but just gave him a silent treatment.
He was such a kind man though, after treating my wounds with medicine and warm water he left me to sleep and I did. Somehow I had to thank my spirits for guiding me to flee the war for I would've been killed or seriously injured.
That night I didn't even want to go out - nor was I even able to. My body felt heavy as I laid down to take a rest, and when I closed my eyes I woke up when it was already dusk outside.
Yazuka was such a quiet place for I heard nothing except for chirping birds outside and some cool breeze. I opened up my eyes - and I was met up with a slightly broken ceiling and I wondered what happens when it rains. That's when I had time to look around that room which was not so small but it wasn't big either. There was just a bed and a few of the owner's belongings.
I was having a terrible headache and when I looked at myself further - I was also wounded on my backside for I felt a heavy piece of cloth tied up and when I tried to sit, I couldn't.
The man barged in "Jang Li! Don't move, the medicines are so strong" he said.
"Where am I?" I tried to speak.
"Yazuka city, you fled the war yesterday and you were wounded. I treated your wounds" He said charmed and excited.
"Thank you"
"Ah don't mention it Jang Li. I hear the crown prince is dead!"
My heart skipped a bit - and my eyes widened with shock.
"What did you say?" I asked.
"Prince Dao of Qianlong was beheaded by the rebels Jang Li. His head was on a spike"
"Prince Dao is dead?" I asked again, confused.
"Are you okay Jang Li? Huh he's dead, killed by the general of the rebels and his whole army has vanished too. The people coming from the south are saying the mountains just outside Tong'an are filled with corpses"
The news itself should've made me calm but somehow it shattered me to pieces. If he dies - then his father would start looking for me, I had made an enemy with Qianlong Emperor.
"I have to go..." I said standing up but my weak body gave up and I sat down.
"Jang Li! Stay, you are too weak"
"This city, is it protected?" I asked just in case Qianlong decided to barge in anytime seeking revenge.
"We have been living in peace for over a decade. Yakuza is safe Jang Li, we don't fight we are just normal farmers not soldiers"
Only if that man had seen what I saw during the war - and how the weak parrished like flies he would have given up his hoe and picked up a sword for the only way to survive was to fight and not anything else. I went back to rest with my head still reminiscing about the war - and Prince's Dao dying at the battlefield for something I warned him about.
The next few days we heard stories from people coming from the south saying how General Chun carried Qianlong's son head all across the plains and back to the flying tower. How his remaining army was met with such honor and applause from the people who supported Yae Lin's claim to the throne. During that moment I would have given anything to know about what happened to Lee, my best friend who followed me to the foreign lands without any knowledge of what we were going to expect. I prayed that night that he could still be alive - for me because I knew I would never forgive myself if anything happened to Lee. He was my friend and I was ready to risk it all for him.