The adventure lasted for over seven days, or it could have lasted less or more but I didn't keep a track of time because every night was special to us that I didn't want it to end. Lee made sure to make it worth to remember and added it as bucket list of moments that we shared together.
On our way to a place which we didn't even know where it was - or what sort of people inhabited it. Lee and I ventured together and somehow we came across a desert which was dry as it could be. The winds blew in much greater force and the land was completely dry - not even a piece of plant grew in that place. It was getting dark and a bit cold, but also quiet.
We were the only ones trespassing through it, with our horse and cart. Somehow there were echoes of the horse's hooves all around the atmosphere. Lee's eyes were glued to me and whenever I tried to catch him looking at me, he would quickly turn his gaze elsewhere to avoid our eyes from contacting. I found it impressively cute so I didn't complain, I just laid my body on his thighs and he placed his hand on my hairs, stroking them slowly.
I could stay like that forever, I was safe just like a kid surrending to his father's presence and feeling secured. But he just had to cut out the moment when he brought the horse to a halt and got out of the cart.
"What is it?" I asked him.
He was however busy dealing with the horse, he untied it from the cart and brought it to me. "Hold him will you?" he said and handed me a rope tied to the beast.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"Just take the handle Mingzhu, I'll be back"
I refused to take it "What is it? Take me with you"
"I'm just going to get some woods for camping tonight"
"I'm coming with you"
"No, you are not. You stay!"
"Watch me" I said and climbed out of the cart.
I took the horse's handle and led the way while he just watched - when I turned back he was grinning from ear to ear. His face was glittering and he somehow looked so better at sunset - I froze for a moment. But then I asked "What is it?"
"Nothing" he replied calmly.
"You better catch up"
I led the way, while he followed behind. There were neither bushes nor trees nearby, we knew that but we still walked forward leaving the cart behind. In front of us laid a horizon, it looked beautiful with the setting sun making it look like it's curved from an orange bayou.
I sighed softly at the beauty of it. Nothing looked the same from that place, neither Xinjiang nor Tong'an and it was something new to me. A place which wasn't full of anything but just emptiness. "How magical this place is, I can stay here forever" I said.
"Then let's stay"
I chuckled and asked "What?"
"You said you wish you could stay here forever, what's stopping you from doing it"
"You can't be serious"
"I am, let's build a house over there..." he said pointing at a blank space in front of us. "A small hut just you and me"
"And do what?" I asked smiling at him and he blushed - he couldn't continue speaking so he placed his eyes down.
Lee was such a shy man and I've known that since Xinjiang, he could never look at me and maintain eye contact for over five minutes. He always had to find an excuse not to continue anymore and that time, he said "Look --" pointing at a caravan of traders coming through our ways.
"Who are they?" I asked.
"I don't know but we can never be sure, get behind me and cover your face"
"Why would I do that?"
"Because --" he stuttered with words, trying to find a word which wouldn't piss me off.
"Don't you dare say because I'm a woman. I've seen worse, I've been in a war Lee, how many wars have you been to?"
"Mingzhu... I'm just trying"
"Stop trying okay. Just stop trying to patronize me you know how much I hate that"
"I am not patronizing you"
"Oh really, just look at you right now telling me to get behind you. Protecting me as if I can't do that myself, you can barely even protect yourself" I said while feeling the rage boiling inside me, he tried to convince me on whatsoever but I wasn't having it.
I kept walking forward, towards the merchants holding the horse's handle and just when I was close to them - I mounted the horse and slowly approached them.
There were five men, all dressed in uniform colorful attires. Their robes were shining and white, adorned with a caftan on top and each wore a different colored caftan. Their horses were also decorated with fabrics, and they were not just a breed but stallions. Expensive stallions all white in color - I was taken by their display of wealth and apart from their horses, they also had camels.
Four camels behind them carrying a huge carriage which I presumed carried their goods. They weren't shocked to see me, they didn't even stop to ask me questions, just one of them turned to my side to have a look and then he joined others on their conversations which seemed cheerful and I craved to indulge in it.
They passed Lee on the same manner as they did to me, without asking a question and without even looking at him. To them, we were nothing and poor.
"Who are they?" Lee asked me.
"I don't know"
"They didn't say anything to you" he asked me again and I shook my head.
Lee couldn't take his eyes off them "What weird men! But they looked strange didn't they?"
"Right, I also had the same thoughts. Their fabrics, choice of horses and -- just everything displayed wealth. I wonder if we are close to their city"
"Here, pull me over" he said and I held his hand and pulled him up to the horse. He stayed behind me as I held on to the horse's handle. "Come on, let's go"
"Where are we going?" I asked clearly not understanding what plans did he have for us.
"Where they just came from, follow their tracks of horses and camels. We'll find it"
"Alright"
I hushed the horse and we abandoned the cart, and the plans we had to find a place for camp. That night we didn't sleep at all, the stars were shining so bright up the sky in such a way we didn't need any fire to guide us through.
We rode in silence for a moment before Lee cleared his throat and whispered to me "Mingzhu..."
"What is it?"
"I'm sorry for what I did earlier. I -- I don't know what came over me"
"What did you do earlier?" I asked because I wanted him to admit that he was indeed patronizing me.
"For patronizing you. I'm sorry"
"Good you are forgiven"
"Oh thank you..." he said with excitement and embraced me tightly "You are my best friend, best friend" he continued.
"Okay Lee, stop it you are hurting me. Gosh, you are so strong"
He untied his hands off me and said "Sorry, sometimes I forget you are a girl" he said and I turned my back to him.
"What did you say?"
"I didn't say anything..."
"What do you mean you forgot that I'm a girl"
"Because you... you don't act like a girl these days. But let's focus on our journey shall we?"
His words pierced my heart like an arrow when it pierces through a fresh wound. I must've spent so much time trying to survive that I forgot I was a woman, in Tong'an my identity had to be hidden for I wouldn't have survived if anyone knew who I was. Perhaps I didn't need my feminity at all - what has it helped me with by the way. But I made a promise to live my truth in the new city, no matter what I would never disguise myself as a man again unless it was necessary needed.
It didn't take long before we started to see - from a far a view of the whole city. The lanterns illuminated so bright up in the sky and the warmth of the place could be felt even miles away. We could hear drums of celebrations from where we were and I managed a simple "This is going to be fun" and looked back at Lee who was also excited for our new endeavors