Look at this sumptuous dinner. Juicy ginger and scallion stir-fried beef. Hot and piping prawn fried rice. Cold and refreshing cold cucumber salad. I don't mean to brag, but I'm 100% confident the taste will surely lead you to heaven.
But for the first time in my life, I can't seem to enjoy this precious food. It almost felt like my last meal...
(ಥ﹏ಥ)
This is serious. Even food can't console me. I might have contracted some disease. Help!
I have been mechanically moving my hand to pick up and shove the dishes into my mouth in silence like a good old robot. Ever since Edgar drop the news, I feel like I'm living with a time bomb tied to my chest. Tick-tocking slowly to my demise.
Who doesn't know the Hill family in this country? When I said they dabbled in all kinds of business, I mean it. They conquered the white area of the business circle, and insiders knew they hovered between the grey area too. And they all understand not to mess with the Hills.
But of course, my soul has to be attached to those who have a possibility of offending them big time. I might need to find a shaman to get rid of this bad luck. I've been scoring it with the God of Misfortunes ever since my rebirth.
Edgar who is sitting across me is mirroring my actions. Silently shoving foods into his mouth too. God knows what was on his mind. After the conversation in the kitchen, I "calmly" asked for some time-out to organize my thoughts.
But instead of organizing it, the little me in my brain has been running rampage, rolling around on the soft pink juicy cushion and screaming while setting my brain on fire. My brain is practically overheated. Fried to crisps. You could see the smoke emitting from my scalp. I can't think.
"Thanks for the food. You're really a good cook." Unknowingly, Edgar has put down his utensils and stared at the dazed me for god knows how long. I guess it's the end of the time-out, huh?
I just gave him a slight nod and placed my utensils down too, preparing to clear the dishes. For the first time in my 24 years of life, I didn't finish my meals.
(╥_╥)
While I absentmindedly picking up the plates, a low chuckle woke me from my stupor. I raised my head to meet Edgar's gaze. He had a hand resting on his chin and another hand resting lazily on the dining table with eyes full of laughter. How are you still in a good mood to laugh, bro? I can't help but furrow my eyebrows tighter.
Normally, my furrowed brows are our silent language of "Huh?/What the hell?/What the fuck?". Edgar then would kindly elaborate. But right now he disappoints me greatly, as he instead laughs more uproariously. He was laughing too much he's practically wheezing for air at this moment. Going as far as clutching his stomach from cramps.
"You look so troubled right now." Edgar finally said some words that I could decipher apart from the "hahaha" just now.
Well, no shit, bro! I could die any moment now. Can't you see this time bomb tied on my flat, somewhat muscular chest?!
I resist the urge to hurl the bowl of cucumber salad to his face. I never knew Edgar was quite an annoying creature before. To laugh at my misfortune, is this really my male God? He might be the one being possessed right now. Return my male God this instant, you devil!
"Is it that funny?" I asked while gritting my teeth.
As if finally realizing his actions has sort of hitting my sore spot, he painstakingly fixed his emotion back to normal. Although, I could still see his face twitches here and there. Resulting in the same twitch forming on mine. Clearing his throat with "Ahem. Ahem.", he finally opened his mouth again, "It just reminds me of old times. You were always overthinking things."
"Don't you think my life worth overthinking over? I've already died twice." Did I go through two deaths just to escape the tiger's mouth only to enter the wolf's den? Was it the right decision to actually trust Edgar? Have I not learned my lessons that humans are fickle creatures?
I can see Edgar's expression visibly darkened at my words. His gaze sharp and his mouth formed a frown on his face. Pushing his chair back, he stood up and walk around the table towards me who has been frozen in my action of picking up the cucumber salad bowl from his sudden chuckle.
What? What is this development? My rage was replaced by nervousness. I almost forgot my place as a subordinate and a freeloader that I ran my mouth without thinking of the consequences. What does my life have to do with Edgar? It was a silly question. He was kind enough to help me to this point but I sound like an ungrateful brat. Going as far as asking him to value my life too.
Am I going to be sent to the gallows now?
...
It doesn't matter. I've experienced death twice. Third time's the charm they said. This time I might be able to finally rest in peace.
I followed Edgar's movement, up until he's only a breath distance from me. He stretched out his hand to retrieve the bowl from my hand and placed it back on the table. After that, he slowly pulled my whole body into his embrace.
"..."
Aaron seemed to be disconnected right now. Please try again later.
In my current body, my height is only a few centimeters short of Edgar's. Right now my chin is resting on Edgar's broad shoulder while my hands stiffly hang in place. I could smell the lingering scent of the fabric softener on his shirt and the slightly fading cologne on his neck. I can't help but think that he smells really nice...
He buried his face in the crook of my neck and circled his arms around my waist. The hot breath brushing my skin causing goosebumps to form on my body. We were stuck in this position for quite a while before I finally heard Edgar saying, "I will never hurt you. And I won't let anyone hurt you again. That's my promise. Sorry. I wasn't thinking when I was laughing just now."
"..."
I nodded my head absentmindedly. My already fried brain short-circuited even more. I can spot tiny embers glowing in the ashes of my already burned heart. Desperately seeking firewood to burn wilder.
"You've had a long day. Go and rest. Your room is the second one on the right. I'll clear the dishes." With that, he gave my back a rub before pushing me out of his embrace and direct me to the room he prepared for me.
I'm amazed by my ability to still operate in my dazed state. I somehow made my way safely to the room. Locking the door behind me I walk further inside and took a seat by the bed. I buried my burning face in my hands and took a deep breath to clear my mind.
As expected of my idol! Even a damaged good like me can still have a Doki-Doki(heart-thumping) moment from a simple hug and words of comfort!
I guess I really was thinking too much. Edgar was right. Thinking back to the time before my death, he really did look out for me a lot. If he said not to worry, I should just obediently do so.
If I didn't know Edgar was a genuine straight man, I would've assumed he's coveting this ethereal body I'm currently in because the way he embraces me just now felt a little ambiguous. His arms were tightly wrapped around my waist making me feel as if he was unwilling to let me go. Even his words sound a little ambiguous.
He never showed any interest in me as Dakota. And currently, I'm a man called Aaron. How much is the possibility for my idol to actually have feelings for me?
Basically, ZERO!
He's a genuinely nice guy. That's what I respect of him. He deserved to be my idol. In my previous life, and this life too.
Throwing those thoughts behind me, I went to the bathroom to take a good shower and call it a night.
*****
The genuine straight man, Edgar: ... ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻