The car ride so far has been silent.
And I don't mean the comfortable silence, I mean the you're-a-disappointment-and-I-didn't-see-it-before-today-but-now-that-I-see-that-you're-a-disappointment-I'm-not-going-to-talk-to-you-because-I-don't-want-any-of-that-mess-to-rub-off-on-me silence.
"Why wouldn't you tell me?" My mom asked and I turned my head to her.
"I—" I stopped.
I don't know how to explain this to her without her thinking that I was crazy.
"I didn't think it was a big deal" I lied.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS A BIG DEAL. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO JAIL TODAY!" She yelled.
My eyes started to burn badly.
I didn't like it when my mom yelled, it scared me. My mom didn't yell very often so when she did it was the worst thing to me.
"I'm sorry" was all I could say.
She took a deep breath, her eyes never making contact with me.
"You have to tell me these things, Dre. I can not help you if I don't know what's going on in your world" she explains.
There was a longing silence.
"How's your friend?" She asked.
Just then I remembered.
Nathan is in the hospital.
"Mom, can you drive me to the hospital? Please? Nathan is there and I want to know if he's okay. You can ground me after just please?" I rambled.
"Woah slow down. Okay first yes I can drive you to the hospital, second, you're most definitely grounded, and third after this you got a lot of explaining to do to Barry. He was worried sick about you and.... he sounded really upset you need to talk to him."
Did I hurt Barry's feelings?
What did I do to him?
Is he mad that I didn't tell him?
Will Barry forgive me?
Would he think that I was crazy if I told him what had happened?
"We're here." My mom said, bringing me back to reality.
"How did we get here so fast?" I asked.
"Your head was in space Dre. You haven't said a word for like fifteen minutes. Now go see if your friend is okay then come right back." She said with authority in her voice.
I nodded then got out of the car.
***
"Hi, I'm looking for Nathan Price." I had said to the funny looking short red-headed lady.
She stopped typing and looked up at me.
"And you are?" She asked rolling her big green eyes at me.
"I'm Dr— Andrea Alston" I replied
"Alston. Alston? Oh Alston you're Jamila's kid." She stated matter-of-factly.
"Yeah."
Her whole demeanor changed then.
"Okay give me one second to see what room he is in okay sweetheart?"
I nodded.
"He is in on the second floor in room 410, east wing" she announced.
I then left the woman without so much as a thank you.
I rushed to the second floor and went looking for room 410.
402
404
406
408
I finally found room 410.
I looked through the small window to find Nathan shirtless talking to a doctor.
His bruises were more prominent than ever.
I'm so sorry Nathan.
I knocked on the door then opened it.
Nathan's eyes darted to me, he looked worried.
"Hi" I whispered.
My nerves are starting to get the best of me.
"Uhh excuse me Dr. Alcatraz can I talk to her alone, she's a friend of mine?" Nathan asked the doctor.
"Of course. I'll give you two a moment alone." The doctor said and with that, he left.
There was silence for a moment.
Why must there always be silence?
"Are you okay?" I asked looking at the scars and bruises.
"What are you doing here?" he snapped.
My eyes widen in shock.
"I wanted to check on you."
"You're lying." He called me out.
"You wanted to see if I told anyone."
"That's n-not true" I stuttered.
He rolled his eyes "I'm fine. You can go now."
I just stood there.
"I already know that you didn't tell anyone."
He looked up at me.
"Nathan look I'm sorry for the things I said. I didn't mean them and I was really worried about you today. I just want us to be over this mess and go back to before. Back to when we didn't talk to each other."
He stood up and walked toward me.
He was barely an inch away from me.
"You need to leave." He said pointing at the door.
We stared at each other for a minute.
"You want to know something, Andrea? You're a coward. You run from everything that scares you. You act like you're too good to ask people for help or to let anyone in because you think you're going to get hurt. In my book that makes you a coward. A selfish coward at that." He smirked
I never felt too low in my life.
I know I am a coward but to hear someone say it out loud, to my face, it hurts to process.
My eyes started to burn and water.
Anger stirred inside of me.
I wanted to scream at him and call him every name in the book, but instead, I decided to say something I knew would hurt him, something I knew would make him feel the way I felt.
"No wonder your mother thinks you're a disappointment. Your dad probably thought the same thing. That's probably why he left you."
His smirked faded in seconds.
He took a step back as if I spat in his face.
I looked at him for a second to see the damaged I have done then I walked out.
This was a bad idea.
Why did I ever come here?
"You're a coward."
"You're a coward."
"You're a coward."