Obviously alone again. I could feel my anger and anxiety rising and a let out an extreme scream of frustration. Then I began to sob.
The crying made me feel tired. So tired. I became dizzy. Tears freshly stained my face as I pulled myself together. The slumber was taking me.
Was it that I was just tired? Or was it the water. I trailed. Trying to stay awake. I realized it was much more than just a slumber taking me.
My breathing became heavy as I tried to fight it. But I couldn't any longer.
A dream took me.
I was three years old again. My mother rocking me in the rocking chair that I still had in my room in my apartment.
She looked down in to my eyes, gently rocking the chair back and forth.
"Oh my sweet baby," she whispered in her beautiful soft voice. "Do you know how much I love you?"
It was like I was watching my own dream from a distance. I watched my younger self stare back in to her eyes. In complete synchronized singing the melody started flowing, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey" little me trailing off to the rocking motion. She continued alone. "You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."
She slowly stood up from the rocking chair and kissed my forehead as she laid me down in my bed and tucked me. Looking at me again before she turned to walk out the door.
I could feel my self slipping away from the dream. I was about to wake up.