When I get home I immediately hear Raya asking where dinner is. My heart breaks knowing that if they're asking then Dad tried to find something in the house and couldn't. Usually by the time I'm home, whatever food we have is ready and everyone is seated at the table. I have always made sure that the twins have never gone hungry, and hopefully never notice how much we struggle. Sometimes I get the feeling that Tora already knows and is just humoring us pretending he doesnt. Or maybe he just doesn't say anything because of Raya, she definitely doesn't know about it and honestly I don't think she'd be able to handle our reality.
As no one notices that I'm home yet, Dad opens his mouth to say something and I interrupt quickly. "Well Dad doesn't have dinner made today because I wanted to take everyone out for a change. I thought we could use a family outing." I tell them. Dad gives me a look I can easily decipher and I shake my head at him slightly so it doesn't draw attention. A look of gratitude passes over his features as he mouths 'Thank you', before a look of defeat and sadness washes through his eyes. I give him a smile and look back at the kids to notice that Tora watched the whole exchange. Although he obviously knows something is wrong he doesn't say a word.
"Let me take a quick shower and change my clothes and I'll be right out." I say as I run to my room. While I'm undressing I text our neighbor Ms. Shelly, asking her if she can keep her eye on mom. The doctors told us that technically she's in a coma because she just won't wake up. Nothing ever changes with her condition but Dad and I never want to leave her in the house all alone. I guess we're both afraid that if we leave her all alone that'll be the day she's gone for good and gone forever.
Melting my skin off in the shower I hear my phone ding and check it quickly to see that my neighbor confirmed she can stay here with mom. Putting my phone back on the counter I finish rinsing off and grab a towel. Drying off with wicked speed, I blow dry my hair, letting the dark chocolate waves cascade down my back. Going through my closet I find a flowy blue dress and gold sandals to wear to dinner. I check myself out in the mirror to make sure that I look presentable and then open up an old shoe box in my closet and pull out some cash. I always stash some money here in case we need it for an emergency.
When a knock sounds at my door, I put the box back in its place and call out for whoever it is to come in. Seeing my Dad just standing in the doorway I offer him a soft smile and beckon him in. As he walks in he closes my door again and gives me a hug, struggling not to cry. "Thank you. I just wanted to say thank you so much my strong, caring daughter. I don't know what I would've done without you all these years." He tells me emotionally. "I feel so much shame that I can't even take care of my family and my daughter has to work to help support us all." He sniffles in shame.
My own eyes tear up seeing him like this. I know how guilty and shameful he feels knowing he can't take care of us the way he wants too. "Oh Dad I'd do anything for all of you!" I say fighting my own tears. He seems so lost, so broken. "You're an amazing father and even better life partner. I'm proud to be your daughter and I know Mom is even prouder to have you as her husband." I say with honesty ringing in every word.
I can tell that my words are like a healing balm on my Dad's poor, battered soul. He calms down and wipes his eyes. I hold him at an arm's length and continue, "Dad I've never been more proud to call you both my parents. And even though we're struggling a lot right now I would live this life a thousand times over if it meant I got to spend it with you, Mom and the twins." It's the best feeling in the world to know I mean every single word. It's not just for his comfort. I've felt so much love from Mom and Dad and then the twins, that I don't hold a single regret. I wouldn't trade my life or my family for the world. It's such an emotional moment that when guilt passes over my Dad's features I brush it aside and determine it's because of our situation.
"I love you so much Rura." He says to me.
I grin at him, trying to tease a smile out of him every chance I get. "Oh I know you do. Who else would you love if it weren't me, hmmm?" I say with confidence. Just as I had hoped my dad huffs out a laugh and looks at me with some of his old mischief.
"I could think of someone." He tells me with half of his old smirk. But hey! Just seeing a piece of who he was before this stress took over his life makes me happy.
"Ha! Like anyone could measure up to me." I say with playful haughtiness, watching as he shakes his head.
With a sad smile Dad says, "Come now dear daughter, we have monsters to feed."
"Ah yes, the food demons! We must go before they cause us trouble." I continue to tease, linking my arms through his and dragging him along. "Don't worry about a thing. Tonight we'll eat and I'll pick up a few things from the store. Tomorrow I'll go shopping." I tell him, hoping to ease his worries. "We'll be alright." I tell him, but he doesn't respond; he just shakes his head.
Seeing us ready Raya jumps up and down, impatient to leave. Tora seems more reserved after watching Dad and I silently communicate. I make a mental note to talk to him later and tell him not to worry about a thing. I'll always make sure my siblings are taken care of, even if I can't manage to always take care of Dad or myself.
"Alright!" I say with exaggerated cheer. "Who's ready to eat?"