Maybe some of you don't know it—perhaps all of you, this story was just started—but there was a girl in my school who you may call 'quite odd'.
The girl—Hannah Lara was quite popular that every student, teacher, and even school's faculty member knows her name. However, only a few people have known what her face looks like.
The name—Hannah Lara got the perfect score in all exams, her name was carved on the top of the smartest student. They said that she was a daughter of a rich family but no one could guarantee that that was true. There was also a rumor about her, being the most beautiful girl in this school—in this city.
There was also a rumor that Hannah Lara wasn't truly existed and the teachers just put a random name on the leaderboard for the school's image. Still, no person could verify if the rumors were true or not.
They said that Hannah Lara has porcelain skin, matched with her coal-black hair that reaches the quarter of her back and long eyelashes paired with her sapphire blue eyes.
Hmm. What was porcelain and sapphire blue looked like again?
I was the type of person who never believes in any gossips and rumors, I found it a waste of time, believing in something or someone who has a characterization like that.
Should I call it too vague? or too exaggerated.
And there I was—standing on the edge of our school' building looking around upside down.
"Would you rather jump from the roof with me or run away and lived to a far place with me?" words came from a certain person at my back.
"..."
I didn't answer. Not because I'd doubted to jump on the roof 'cause of her words but because I found it quite hilarious.
Yes, then I laughed.
What are you doing, myself? trying to kill yourself just to because you want to run away from your problem. I thought.
"...didn't you heard me?"
Stepping back, I looked at that certain person and fell silent.
...a girl?
Yes, a girl. A female student was standing right in front of me—asking if I wanted to kill myself with her or run away with her.
Surely, you'll think that I'll choose to run away with her but I'm no simp. Dragging other people into my problem is no good, also if that person was a girl.
—a female.
—a maiden.
Certainly, if I run away with her I have to expect that there's already a room in jail for me. But is a seventeen years old highschool student would be able to put in jail? or they'll just send it to counselors for a couple of weeks or so.
Well whatever, as if I'll run away with her.
Then again I noticed something different in her from the other person I'd met before.
All person that I'd met before was like a picture that I'd always seen on the books, but this girl was different. Like I always see, her hair, clothes, and skin were in monotonous color, but her eyes were different. It was a color that I'd never seen before.
By any chance, did I see a new color?
There's no doubt about it, it was a color unknown to me—as if it was the first color I've ever seen before.
However, even she had beautiful eyes, her look was dead. Her glance was faced on me but I felt that she wasn't looking at me. Is she blind?
"Why are you looking at me like that?" furrowing her eyebrow, she asked me.
Guess, she wasn't blind.
I'd slightly leaned my body towards her, made a slight bow for apologizing to looked at her. Maybe I was looked like a creep earlier.
"If you can't answer me now, then I'll wait for you here tomorrow"
Turning around, she leaves me alone with waiting for my response. I'd tilted my head in confusion.
Some random girl asked me to commit suicide with her or run away with her, how many times did I say this in my mind? I still can't believe it.
I—myself.
Seventeen years old.
Has an optical illness.
Never had a girlfriend before.
Treated like a cockroach on school.
Treated as a burden in my family.
and now wants to die, was asked by a beautiful girl with blazing blue eyes to commit suicide with her or run away with her.
Then I thought. I'd get it, she was just messing with me. There's no way a girl like her asked me that.
Then I also thought. I was just so frustrated with what happened today, that's why I'd become delusional. The girl from earlier was nothing but a delusion—that's because after she approached me, she immediately disappeared.
"What a weird day..." I muttered.
Stepping forward. I left the building, planned to went home but I doubted, surely my mother was waiting for me to get home and I'll receive her punishment again—not only for being disrespectful to our teacher but also for running away from her earlier.
The sun was setting down. How do I know? cause I looked at the big clock across the crossroad. I lost my fondness to go home so I decided to loiter around the city just like a certain detective that I'd used to watch on television.
Walking around with no direction, I don't know where should I go. Just looking at the awful persons who were laying down on the ground with an empty can on their side and cardboard covered on their body.
As I walked past them, they looked at me as if they saw meat walking in front of them, immediately stick their hands towards me, crying "Give me food, give me money, please have mercy on us... God gave a blessing to those people who help another person"
Honestly, I don't believe in such things as that. They just keep relying on other people and using some sort of name to feel pity for them.
...God?
...Blessing?
...Help?
...Mercy?
Don't you hear what word did you said? if you only chose the right choices in your life, you wouldn't end up like that. Then you said have mercy?
Just looking at them, their limbs are still intact, their voices are still loud and clear, and seems they still can hear. Then why don't they stood up from groveling on the ground and looked for their food and such?
Pride—because they don't want to be judged on their work by their appearance?
Hesitation—because they do think that people would just discriminate against them?
Well...
What am I saying? I'd never experienced what they had experienced before. I don't have the right to tell something like this, and I don't want to think ahead to them.
For just some reason, they get on my nerve.
I left the place, continue walking forward without approaching them.
Maybe I was too awful.