Static. Every time his father starts on one of his rants, all TJ can hear is static. He should be listening, should be fearful of the consequences that would take place if his father was to notice his lack of interest, but he's beyond caring. It was just another unneeded lesson on keeping his father's identity a secret. Why would he even want to tell people that he was the son of such a ruthless gangster? It's not something he feels proud of, he never has.
"Understood, son?"
TJ finally focuses his attention back on his father at the head of the dining table, his mother and younger sisters also looking at him with slight panic in their eyes. They know full well he hasn't been listening to a word that has been said, and they're clearly worried that he had no clue what was going on. But TJ was smarter than that. He calms them with a smile, ensuring them that there wasn't going to be a lick of violence over breakfast today.
"Understood, dad. I won't say a word about your business affairs, no one will even know that we're related," TJ smartly answers before stuffing his mouth with more of the bacon on his plate. A sigh of relief quietly escapes his mother, and he can tell without even looking at his sister that she was smiling widely.
"Good man. You're going to be a great leader once I step down."
TJ just nods wordlessly, the prospect always making him want to change the subject immediately. Because the thing was, he didn't want to take over his father's work. He didn't want a life of crime and secrecy that he's grown up seeing, he just wants to escape from it. And, he certainly didn't want to major in business studies and join the football team just in order to 'improve his fitness and business mindset for the future.' Just like his father is forcing him to do.
None of that was his dream. In reality, his dream was photography, taking pictures and capturing a moment in time perfectly. Thankfully, his mother had managed to persuade his dad into allowing him to take a minor in photography, 'as long as it doesn't distract him from the important things.' Little did he know that the important thing in his mind was photography. Not business, crime, violence, not one thing that his father has trained him for. Nothing that's been shoved in his face for the entire eighteen years of his life. TJ wasn't his prodigy, he wasn't meant for the life that's been paved out for him, but it wasn't his choice. Nobody says no to his father, not unless you value your freedom and ultimately your life.
"TJ!" His eight-year-old sister, Tiffany yells. "Can you fix my dollhouse before you leave? You promised."
"Sure, Tiff," TJ says in a soft voice, a kind smile gracing his lips. He was only soft for his little sister, had been her since the day she was born. Another poor soul that didn't deserve a thug for a father, and a mother who was too terrified to speak up for her children. He's the only one who has ever fought to keep her safe, not caring how it may end for him. That's another thing that makes him feel uneasy about leaving for college, no one will be around to protect her from it all.
After breakfast, the first thing TJ does is make good on his promise, heading straight upstairs to fix the roof of the dollhouse. It was ruined one night during one of their father's blind rages, a night that still plays clear in their minds. A rival gang managed to swipe a deal straight from under his feet, leaving him out of just short of a million dollars. It was safe to safe that he was completely furious. After he got off the phone he punched the first thing he saw, Tiffany's beloved dollhouse which used to sit proudly in the corner of the living area. Now, it hides away in her wardrobe, safe from any further destruction. The worst thing was that their father never apologised, even though he saw how devastated his daughter was. Sometimes TJ wonders if he has even an ounce of compassion or love for his children.
"You remember what I told you, right?"
Tiffany nods, swinging her legs as she watches her brother from the edge of her bed. "When daddy starts yelling I need to hide in my wardrobe and call you."
"FaceTime. You know, so I can make sure you're safe. You know how to do that, yeah?"
"Of course, dummy! I know how to work my phone, I'm not a baby!"
"Oh, really? You still seem like one to me." TJ lets out a laugh when Tiffany kicks him in the back, the action far too weak to cause him any pain. He finishes the roof quickly, the dollhouse still not looking the same as it did, but it was definitely a step up from the hole. "And, done. It's not the best, but it'll do."
Tiffany claps her hands together before jumping off of the bed and onto her big brother's lap for a hug. "You're the best. I'm really gonna miss you."
TJ sighs, hugging the little girl back tightly. "I'm really gonna miss you too, Tiff."
"Do you really have to go? Like really really?"
With a sad smile, TJ tucks a long lock of blonde hair behind Tiffany's ear. He often wonders if they really have the same parents since they looked nothing alike. Tiffany was fair, with bright blue eyes whereas TJ was all-around dark. Black hair, dark brown eyes, his skin more of a honey tone, absolutely nothing like his little sister. "Dad would kill me if I didn't go, with the amount of money he keeps reminding me that he's invested in it."
"I wish I go come with you too," Tiffany huffs defeatedly.
"Maybe you'll fit in my suitcase, mom and dad wouldn't see you leave with me that way."
"Can I try?!" Tiffany hopefully asks, springing onto her feet and already making her way out of her room and towards TJ's before he has the chance to even answer.
And, of course, TJ doesn't say no to her. But when it comes to bringing his things to his car and his suitcase seems abnormally heavy, he has to explain to his sister, with a heavy heart that he has to go without her.
**************************
It's dark by the time TJ reaches his college, too late for anyone else to still be moving in. He knows he's missed the check-in deadline before he even checks the time on his phone, he just hopes he'll still be able to pick up his keys. Sleeping in his car for the night did not seem like a fun option.
"You're late. Checkin ended an hour ago, the times were clearly stated on the email you must have received a week ago," a sour, middle-aged woman says the second TJ enters the main office.
"I had things to do. Besides, you're still here and that means I can still pick up my keys." TJ leans against his forearms on the surface in front of him, a challenging look in his eyes.
"The only reason I'm still here is because of punks like you that don't understand the importance of punctuality."
"My name is TJ Palmer. The sooner I have my keys, the sooner we can both start enjoying our lives again."
The woman mutters angrily the entire time she looks at her papers, only stopping once she snatches a key off of her desk and holds it out to TJ. "Block 7, room 6D."
Not wasting time on pleasantries, not that the woman deserved any, he takes the key and leaves. He heads towards his block with his backpack slung carelessly over his shoulder, his hands burying themselves in his pockets as usual. He'll get the rest of his study later, right now he just needs to nap.
Surprisingly, his floor seemed to be quiet. He was expecting to walk into a bunch of jocks already getting drunk and hitting on girls that they think are in their league. But no, there was silence, well apart from an annoying buzzing coming from the dingy hall light.
The light flooding through underneath the door lets him know immediately that his roommate is already inside. TJ sighs, he really didn't have the energy to get to know someone. He's been driving for four hours straight, he barely has enough energy to move anymore.
Inside the room he's met with a boy, stopping in his tracks once he sees him although he already knew there was someone in here. But he couldn't help but stop and gawk, completely losing control of his own actions, something about the stranger making it impossible to do anything else. The other hadn't noticed him yet, he had earphones in and was entirely focused on his laptop screen. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, his long eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones as he looks down, brown hair looking so soft as it falls over his forehead. He looked small, legs crossed and back hunched over, wrapped up in a hoodie that was clearly too big for him. And when he looks up to finally acknowledge TJ's presence, his big, dark blue eyes sparkle as a capturing smile pulls at his perfectly pink lips. TJ was frozen in place.
"You're finally here!" The boy says, his smile growing as he speaks. His voice was much deeper than TJ was expecting, the sound a complete contact to his soft facial features. "I'm Noah."
Noah takes out his earphones before standing, surprising TJ again with how tall he really is. He was almost the same height as him, a fair five foot ten, although he seems much smaller all curled into himself on his bed.
"And, you are?" Noah asks expectantly, holding out a hand for him to shake in a formal greeting. TJ's gaze flickers down to the hand, admiring for a second how long and slim his fingers were. Dainty, a perfect match to his slightly pale complexion.
"Tired," TJ quickly replies, snapping out of his strange trance. He quickly closes the door and makes his way over to the empty side of the room, throwing his backpack down as his mind raced to make sense of what the hell just happened to him.
"Your name is 'tired'? That's... unique."
"No. I'm just tired."
"To tired to introduce yourself? Wow, rude," Noah says quietly as he sits back down on his bed, cocking his head as he watches TJ kick off his shoes and climb onto his own. "You haven't brought any of your stuff up... I don't think these beds are the cleanest without bedding on them."
"I'll live," TJ dismissively answers as he lays down, trying his best to mask how uncomfortable he was without even so much as a pillow. His arm was not a good substitute for one.
Cracking an eye open slightly, he can see Noah frowning, his gaze focused on one of the wardrobes on the other side of the room. Suddenly he stands, disappearing out of sight as he moves to the end of the room. For a second TJ thinks he might be leaving, the thought making him feel somewhat guilty. But, then he's back. He shuffles nervously to stand at the side of TJ's bed, an item cradled in his arms.
"Here."
Once TJ finally opens his eyes fully, he sees a slightly small, cloud-shaped pillow being held towards him. He sits up slightly to take it, a little confused as to why the other was being so nice to him even after he had been so rude. "Thanks," he mumbles almost shyly, receiving a nod in response before Noah returns to his own bed. TJ settles the pillow on his bed, suppressing the contented sigh that threatens to leave him once his head sinks into the softness. This was much better than the crook of his arm.
Sleep pulls at him, willing him under. But before he lets it he hears words leave his mouth faster than his brain could even comprehend, a part of him knowing that he owes his roommate at least his name. "TJ," he sleepily mutters.
"What?" Noah says, a little taken aback.
"My name, It's TJ."
"Does the 'T' stand for 'tired'?" Noah asks, a small laugh following his words.
TJ finds himself mirroring the laugh before he allows sleep to capture him, his mind finally shutting off. He'll worry about the strange feeling he got when he saw his new roommate another time.