Classes begin a week after move-in day, giving the boys a good amount of time to settle into their new environment. Noah was determined to use the time to become better friends with TJ, but ever since their little game of 21 questions, he's seemed to be colder, standoffish. It makes it a much bigger challenge than Noah hoped it would be, but he's never been one to shy away from a challenge. He's sure that he can crack the defensive walls that TJ has built around himself.
"Wanna grab lunch? I'll drive," Noah suggests, the room uncomfortably silent as they both busy themselves with their laptops.
"I'm not really hungry."
"Dinner tonight then?"
TJ sighs, the sound making Noah purse his lips, not wanting to say anything more. "Are you trying to ask me out on a date or something?"
"Wow. Straight man culture really is something," Noah rolls his eyes. Frustrated, he turns his attention back to his laptop, the sight of TJ making him too angry.
"'Straight man culture'?"
"Yes. You always think that just because someone is gay that they're always coming onto you. I just wanted to do something other than sitting in our room, grab some food and become better friends, emphasis on the word 'FRIENDS', and you think I want to date you? Unbelievable."
"Woah, okay..." TJ slumps his shoulders, regretful of his stupid words. It's clear that he's upset Noah, any fool could see that, but he hasn't got the slightest clue as to how to make it right. If he can even make it right, that is.
Noah mutters something inaudible before putting in both of his earphones in one swift motion, making it clear that he didn't want to listen to another word that TJ had to say. Once again, TJ has allowed his own insecurities to affect someone else. He really was an idiot.
*****
Since that day it became awkward between the two of them. Hostile. TJ knows full well that he's the one who has to change the atmosphere, let Noah see that he felt terrible for what he did. But, apologies didn't come easy to him, it's not a skill that he's been taught growing up. The complete opposite has been drummed into him, 'never apologise. Apologising shows weakness, it shows that you don't have confidence in your own words and actions. You must never be weak'. He can hear his father yelling the words, causing him to feel only more nervous to break the tension. But he has to, he can't turn into his father. The man he's grown to hate.
"Noah?"
Noah's head snaps up, not expecting to hear TJ's voice, let alone him calling his name. His eyes meet the other's, blue boring into brown, showing he's listening without using his words.
"I'm sorry. What I said the other day wasn't at all cool, I don't think you're trying to come onto me. I'm a jerk, and I'm really sorry," TJ speaks quickly before he can talk himself out of the apology. "Wanna grab lunch before our first photography class? I'll drive."
It's silent for a moment, Noah tearing his eyes from TJ's in a rapid motion. TJ panics, almost thinking that his apology is going to be rejected, his face heating up in embarrassment at the thought. But then he sees Noah's cheek puff out in the cutest way, and then he's met with that captivating smile that he always does. How someone can smile so perfectly really was a mystery.
"Are you trying to ask me out on a date?" Noah finally speaks, teasing.
"Shut up." TJ hides his face in his chest, trying his best to will his cheeks to stop burning. No now has ever made him feel this way. How did Noah have so much power over him when they've only known each other a week?
"Teasing you is too fun. Plus, you deserved that," Noah laughs hysterically. "Lunch sounds great, but you're paying since you upset me."
It hurts TJ, even though he knew that he hurt Noah. Hearing him say it just makes it more real, makes it hurt more than it did before. "Okay, deal. Only because I upset you."
The words are said softly, the sentiment burning like fire in Noah's chest. It was unexpected, the comment and the feeling it sparked. And maybe, just maybe, TJ felt it too.
However, neither of them acknowledge it. They just carry on as before, only now engaging in light conversation every now and then up until it's time for them to head out to lunch. It felt good to be on speaking terms again. Well, actually anything would have been a step up from the tension the last few days have held, even death, if you were being dramatic that is. Something that Noah and TJ would wrongly say they're far from.
Conversation between them had always felt quite natural, flowing for the most part. Although, Noah has certainly noticed how TJ's moods shift, one thing always causing him to retreat back into himself and locking the other out. Almost as if he was scared to show his true self. It's stupid to say since it hadn't been long at all, but Noah knows there's something bothering him, he's seen him overthinking one too many times. Asking would be inappropriate since they aren't that close, which sucked for Noah since he always has an overwhelming desire to help people. Always has. Hopefully, in time he'll be trusted enough to help. Maybe one day he'll be let in.
"So... are you excited about our first photography class?" Noah asks once they've settled at a table, sipping his hot chocolate as he waits for an answer. Smiling when he sees TJ's eyes light up, his heart reacting in a way that has him silently scolding himself. He knew that the question would get a reaction from him, and he really doesn't disappoint.
"Much more excited than I am for business studies tomorrow. I even read through the syllabus for this class, we're studying Ansel Adams first, he's been one of my heroes since I first fell in love with photography," TJ says, gushing. It makes Noah smile even wider, loving this side of him.
"Well, I know who I'll be relying on for some extra help on the essays."
"As long as you don't expect me to write yours for you."
"Of course not! But I'm not promising I won't be peeking over your shoulder as you're writing."
TJ lightly kicks Noah under the table, looking innocent once he gets a frown in return. "Any extra support will require payment."
"What kind of payment are we talking about?" Noah smirks, hissing in pain at the next kick he receives. "I was kidding, no need for the violence. You're not a fan of the gay humour, noted."
"No, it's just..."
"Just?"
"I'm not used to it, that's all." TJ eyes his coffee, deliberately not making eye contact with the other. It's very clear that there was more to it.
Prying would change the ease of the conversation, so Noah keeps his lips sealed about it. Besides, it might not even be anything, he's not about to try and squeeze blood out of a stone. That isn't him at all. "So, Ansel Adams. What's so great about him?"
"What isn't so great about him would be an easier question."
So Noah listens to TJ list everything he loves about the photographer, excited the same way a child would be talking about their favourite type of candy. The light in his eyes was magical, causing Noah to hang onto his every word. This was much better, to see him so free and open was a massive step forward from the coldness he's used to being met with. And TJ prefers it too. He enjoys finally being able to let this side of him out, not have to hide his love for photography. All in all, lunch was a great idea.