"Holy balls! What the hell happened to you Darl?!" Muriel asks as I enter the kitchen, a horrified expression on her face as she eyes my mouth, which as predicted by Dr Kendall is grossly swollen. Still slightly numb from last nights local anaesthetic I continue to have difficulty speaking without drooling everywhere like a Dogue de Bordeaux after a particularly long drink. Gross!
Right now my thoughts are on food, my stomach growling angrily, demanding sustenance immediately.
I am starving, having not eaten before my trip to the hospital, and not since either because my mouth just won't work. I can barely suck water through a straw because I can't form a full seal around it. The numbness should begin wearing off soon, the angry gremlin inside will have to wait until later for satisfaction!
Taking a seat at the island and accepting the glass of juice that Muriel has just handed me with a very lispy "Thhhankthh" I take my phone from my pocket and open up a new notes page, typing a quick message and turning it to show Muriel, who takes my phone and extends her arm fully away from her body whilst squinting.
"Shit! I ain't got me specs! Sorry darl, I can't read that, but I presume you can't talk too much right now. That right?" She questions, eyes widening as she looks past my shoulder at someone who has just entered the room behind me, shock on her face.
"Crikey! I know you two ain't been the best of friends so far but this is not on! What the hell Yanni? She's a woman! It doesn't matter what she did or said you can't just....."
"STOP!" he says quietly but firmly from directly behind me, a small shiver running through me at the closeness of him, his stealth shocking me for a second time!
Muriels mouth moves for a second or two longer but words have ceased to be uttered, however her look of shock remains. A jolt goes through my body as his chest presses softly against my back. I feel his weight shift slightly to the left as his hand makes contact with my shoulder. Immediately tense, my body rigid, I feel panic beginning to set in, my pulse rate rising and heat spreading through my face as icy chills simultaneously dance along my spine. Yanni runs his fingertips tenderly down my arm and I become aware that the chills are radiating from the spot where his soft skin is in contact with mine despite their warmth, causing a small gasp of surprise to escape my distorted mouth. His hand completes its journey towards mine, lingering momentarily, our fingers almost intertwined before he removes the phone from my grip. I turn my head to the left and find myself eye to eye with Yanni and my lungs cease to expand. His breath is warm on my cheek but his face is too close for me to focus on any feature but his eyes. His smile is obvious in them, mischief lighting them from inside, tiny creases at the corners of his eyes as a short breathy laugh escapes his lips. As he pulls away from me to sit on the stool beside me I realise why Muriel was, and still is, staring at him. I haven't seen him since the incident yesterday, going straight to bed once Noah and I got home from the hospital but it's clear that I am not the only one who suffered an injury after our collision.
A large red blemish covers the entirety of his left cheek, his chin and part way down his neck, deeper crimson in places, and starting to turn purple directly below his left eye, which I can now see has begun to swell slightly, the already delicate skin tense over the fluid beneath it.
"I fell and landed heavily, my mouth connecting with Yannis face. Ow!" he reads my message to Muriel aloud from my phone with a chuckle. I nod as she drags her eyes away from his and settles them on me, questioning the truth of that statement.
"Christ on a bike! You two! Look at the state you're in. What the hell were you doing? Actually, you know what? I don't want to know! Yanni, you should put an ice pack on that" she points at his face. "Anyway, rack off now, I've got so much to do and don't need you two cluttering up the place! Go outside and I'll bring you both some breakfast" as she shoos us out the door.
True to her word Muriel delivers us a delicious breakfast of smoked salmon and scrambled eggs, fruit salad and coffee. As always it is delicious, even though I can only very carefully eat a few tiny bites because of the lack of a fully functioning mouth right now. This woman really is a marvel. I wonder if she fancies a long working holiday in England next year?
Yanni and I are sitting opposite each other beside the pool, the early morning sun rising from the ocean as if Triton himself is bestowing the most glorious gift upon us. It is absolutely breathtaking, and in different company I would find this to be the most romantic moment.
We haven't spoken to each other since sitting down but I don't feel awkward at all, the opposite infact, we are both lost in our own thoughts while witnessing one of nature's most amazing natural light shows. As I pour myself a coffee he turns to look at me, I feel rather than see his eyes on me and look up at him... feeling awkward now!
Clearing my throat I offer to pour him another cup of coffee which he accepts with a grateful smile, then tells me that he doesn't feel that he could function without at least 2 cups of coffee within the first hour he is awake. I'm exactly the same and his comment encourages me to tell him the story of the broken coffee machine.
It was a bank holiday afternoon. I'd been awake all night covering an awards show for work then editing the footage and recording my voiceover, arriving home around 06:30 totally shattered. I fell into bed in my dress, make up still on, only having the energy to remove my knickers and I was too exhausted to bother with the rest. I awoke at 14:30 feeling crappy as usual, and begrudgingly left the soft warm cocoon of my bed. I decided as I made my way to the bathroom that I didnt want to be awake yet, so employed my 'stay asleep squint and see' move. I shuffled across the floor with my eyes almost fully closed, only a narrow view of my room visible through my still mascaraed lashes in an attempt to remain semi conscious, with the intention of making it possible for me to go back to sleep once I had finished my wee!
Wakefulness started to creep in, my conscious mind sputtering into life. I refused to listen to my brains insistence that I engage with it and leapt onto my bed, dragging the quilt up with me as I did. I squeezed my eyes closed and thought about calming and peaceful things. Majestic snow capped mountains reaching heavenward wearing cloud halos, the sounds of a gentle river flowing, images of canal boats and graceful swans passing by serenly, dappled sunshine highlighting water droplets on their Angel like wings making them appear jewel encrusted. I felt relaxed, my imagination having conjured up such soothingly comforting images, but the very process of thinking those pictures into being had given it exactly what it wanted. I was awake, and because I am stubborn I tossed and turned under the duvet for over an hour, becoming more and more tetchy as the minutes passed by until it all became too much for me and I blew, angry at my bladder for waking me but also at my mind, for being the equivalent of a child poking an alligator with a blood soaked stick, jabbing at my Grey matter until it had to respond. No sleep for me.
I got up to make coffee but was horrified to find that I had no capsules left. Oh shit! I literally can't live without coffee. Checking the time and finding it was almost closing time I began berating myself..... what will I do now, I'm so stupid, what's left of today will be terrible and tomorrow I will have the headache from hell as all the residual caffeine in my body is used up. A horrendous headache was definitely in my immediate future.
I have to have coffee, so rushed to make it to the shop before it closed. Grabbing my purse and slipping my feet into a pair of flip flops without a further thought I jumped in my car and drove to the shops, angry the entire time. I'm sure I looked like a simpleton, or someone with mental health issues rowing with myself as I drove to the closest supermarket, leaping out of the car and sprinting towards the store. I had 3 minutes to get into the shop before it closed.
People were staring at me with open mouthed shock, which I didn't care about, I'd gone out in public without brushing my hair, taking my make up off or changing my clothes from the night before on many occasions, but did wonder why a woman covered her young sons eyes and called me a tramp as I flew past her. Judgmental Bitch.
A few cars honked but I ignored them, so intent on reaching the precious life saving elixir sitting on the shelves a few more metres ahead of me. A group of teenage boys began wolf whistling and shouting "Oi oi darlin'! You forget something?" while laughing and slapping each other.
"Yeah..... coffee!" I shouted back as I flew by them.
A tiny elderly woman stepped infront of me just as I reached the entrance, bringing me to an immediate halt, a kindly smile on her face, before telling me I should wear a longer skirt to shop. Something about the smile and the tone of her voice made me sure she wasn't being abusive. I smiled at her and instinctively felt for the hem of my dress to pull it down a little, but when I didn't locate it I looked down at my body. That's when I realised to my absolute horror that my dress had risen up in the car, my lack of underwear clear to all around!!
Yanni barks out an enormous, loud and deep belly laugh at this revelation, his eyes streaming tears as he tries to catch his breath. I'm surprised to find that hearing him laugh and seeing him genuinely amused has really made my day.
Going back to my story I tell him that after fixing my little problem and thanking the kind lady who attempted to hide my blushes, unsuccessfully I add, I rush my scarlet faced self through the door just as the security guard is about to close them for the day. I located the coffee, picking up 10 boxes, I didn't want to risk running out again, and checked out with an enormous sigh of relief.
Once I arrived home I placed a capsule into my machine, placed a cup underneath and flicked the on switch.
Nothing!
I tried another socket, nothing. I dismantled the plug and replaced the fuse. Still nothing.
I had just shamed myself in front of dozens of people, some of whom I had recognised, for no reason at all. My coffee machine was broken!!
No coffee, a banging headache and the shame sweats my only reward.
Only me! Why does this sort of thing only happen to me?
Yanni cannot contain himself and is bent over clutching his sides, struggling to catch his breath and still 'tear blind' as the four other boys arrive wanting to know what's so hilarious!
I blush as Yanni begins to repeat my story to peals of giggling, Jimmie pointing out to all that I seem to be a serial flasher.
"I'm sorry I didn't see that, would of made the boredom of food shopping much more interesting!" Yanni tells me conspiratorially, leaning in to speak directly into my ear, his breath warming my skin as he does.