The rest of the dawn was peaceful… sort of. Dawn insisted I slept next to her, so I had slept in the same bed with her. The beginning was all right: we were lying down side by side and it was fine, really.
But after Dawn fell asleep, she turned to my side and hugged me tight, destroying my plan of leaving her side to sleep on my bed. I just closed my eyes and tried to sleep, trying not to be conscious of her arm around my waist and her leg on my legs.
But when I woke up, I was shocked again, much more than all of last night's shocks combined.
The first thing I saw when I woke up was the top of Dawn's head. She was lying down next to me, our bodies in a tight hug. Our bodies were literally quashed into each other, a position I definitely didn't think of when I fell asleep last night. The highest limit I had thought of was her hugging the side of my body, with me lying down on my back.
I sat up, carefully disentangling Dawn's limbs from me, and gathered my toiletries to wash up.
When I returned, Dawn was awake and had her bag of toiletries in front of her. "Did you sleep well?" She asked, completely at ease and — most definitely — not aware of how we'd slept.
"Yeah, did you?" I asked her, trying to fiege some peacefulness like nothing really had happened.
"Yeah. Although my dreams were a bit weird…"
My face must have been asking the reason, so she continued without my would-have-needed prompt. "I dreamt I was wearing headphones that made my ears buzz and hugging a furry long pillow. To be honest, I think the headphone-feeling is still there."
"Does it hurt?"
"No… Oh, right, cisplatin." Dawn remembered, making a face with the memory of last night. (I was personally shocked that she was able to forget that incident.)
"So, does it still hurt?"
"Surprisingly… No. The pain… It kind of disappeared, I guess?"
"Maybe it hurt a lot 'cause you were quite shocked and tense as well. Catherine said that, too, and I think it's quite possible."
"Yeah, I think so, too."
Looking at the clock, the time was a quarter before seven. It was nearing the time Dr Jones promised to arrive. Dawn got up with her bag of toiletries to clean up, but stood up and wobbled.
I barely managed to catch her, the bag dropping to the ground with a small thud. She looked quite shocked, so I sat her down beside her bed and said, "It's from the cisplatin side effects. The first symptoms of ototoxicity usually contain tinnitus and losing balance."
"So it will be resolved when I change the combination?"
"Well…"
"That, for one, is something we can't be sure: it may go away on its own, or it may stay. But since we're changing your combination, it definitely won't get worse." My uncle spoke as he entered, his voice in a definitely not effective tone for reassurance.
"First things first, you'll have to go through some tests to make sure you have ototoxicity, and we'll cut the combination, give you a short resting period, and return to the cycle with irinotecan and carboplatin."
"Carboplatin does have a chance of ototoxicity as well. But it is much lower than cisplatin: between 10 and 29%."
My uncle just has to be the person to be sharing all the bad news. Goodness.
"Now, we have to move you. Lucas, could you help us?"
"Sure." That was when I noticed Catherine wasn't present. "Where's Catherine?" I added, knowing Dawn would be curious.
"She's in the ICU: that's where she usually works, especially when they need an extra nurse. She's probably checking the vitals and things for the patients recovering there, and making sure if there are any patients that need another check-up."
Before I had time to wrap my right arm to support her right armpit and the left to support her legs, Dawn timidly raised a hand and said, "Can I just wash up before we start anything?"
"Sure… But can you walk by yourself?"
"I can support her… Can I?" I asked her, hoping I wasn't nosing in.
"Yeah, you can." Dawn said and added, "Just support me and I'll walk there."
"The bathroom has plenty of bars for you to hold on to, so I think it may be okay… Lucas, just stay by her just in case, okay?"
I nodded, grabbed her bag in my right hand, and supported her around her waist. She then stood up, a bit shaky but somewhat stable.
But after walking forward a few steps, Dawn abruptly stopped. Her eyes slightly losing focus, she whispered, "No, I don't think this is gonna work."
I quickly gathered her into my arms and carried her the rest of the way and closed the bathroom door with my foot after I entered.
When we were inside, her eyes got their focus back, "Shall I put you down somewhere?"
She nodded and hesitantly spoke, "On the toilet seat. Could you stay inside?"
"Sure, no problem," I answered.
I headed to the seat and suddenly realised that she'll need to go to the bathroom. Dawn looked uncomfortable as well, seeming unaware of how to breach the topic.
I simply opened the toilet seat and sat her down there, letting her find her words to speak. "Could you… Um… Help me?" Dawn asked, her voice breaking at the word 'help'.
"How?" I asked, starting to blush at the idea of seeing her halfish naked.
"Hold my waist, close your eyes and lift me up slightly. I'll then… Do the job and when I'm done you can back off with your eyes still closed."
"Then I plug my ears and wait for you to tell me you're done and need help?"
"Yeah…" Dawn confirmed, blushing.
So I stood in front of her and held her waist. Then I shut my eyes, firmed my grip and spoke, "My eyes are closed."
"Lift me up." I heard that, so I complied. Almost immediately, I heard fabric sliding down her legs. "You can put me down now."
I placed her gently down and let go of her body. I then quickly walked three big steps away from her and plugged my ears.
I would be lying if I said I couldn't hear a thing. Of course, I faintly heard the sound, but I knew if I made any sign that I could hear her, Dawn would die of humiliation.
Soon I heard her say she was finished, so I walked slowly toward her, my arms stretched out to gauge the distance. I was able to touch her body soon, the place I assumed was her belly.
Grazing my fingertips around her abdomen, my hands coming to rest on her waist. I swiftly lifted her up, and heard her pulling her things up again. She then told me she was finished, so I was able to place her down carefully and let go of her waist.
Before I opened my eyes, I thought maybe Dawn would need some time to compose herself… Or something like it. So I was about to ask her if she needed some time, but Dawn spoke, "You can open your eyes, and I need you to help me with brushing my teeth and washing my face."
"Yeah, sure." I opened my eyes and asked, "How can I help you?"
"Just hold me up and I'll do the rest."
So I nodded and first placed the bag on the space beside the faucet. Then I lifted Dawn up by her waist again, this time supporting all of her weight. I placed her in front of the basin, letting her do what she needed.
Dawn quickly did her job, brushing her hair and washing her face. I was slightly worried she would be uncomfortable washing her face without any hair ties, but she simply put on a headband and washed her face.
After putting on lotion and lip balm, Dawn placed her headband back inside and spoke up. "I'm done."
"Okay. Let's go out then." For a second, I had an unnecessary thought: there was no way she'll think I'm asking her for a date when we know there are examinations that need to be done.
Dawn nodded and held her bag in her hands while I swung her up into the princess carry again. "You okay?" I asked, wondering if my movements were a bit too swift.
"Just… Give me a second." Dawn spoke, her eyes sliding shut. I looked at her face, wondering if I made her feel sicker than she did.
"No, it has nothing to do with your movements, it's just me completely ashamed." Dawn spoke, somehow knowing my thoughts.
"How did you…"
"Know what you're thinking? It's quite easy to read your face. When I told you to give me some time, your eyes were literally asking me "Did I do something wrong?". Don't a lot of people tell you you're easy to read?"
"No…" There has never been a point in my life when someone told me I was like an 'open book', so to speak. "There were people who told me I'm quite difficult to read, but never the opposite."
"Huh… But I can see what you're thinking."
"I think I know the reason for that." I spoke, after thinking a little bit. Dawn's face was telling me to speak up, so I continued, "It may be because I like you… If you know what I mean."
"Oh… I see that happen with some of my friends, yes."
"So I think that's the same case with me. Or not."
"Yeah, I think you're right."
"Right about what?" I had opened the door as Dawn said and my uncle just had to ask that.
I placed her down on the chair and said, "It's nothing."
"Let's get you through this job. The quicker, the better, right?"
"While being correct? Of course!"
"Lucas, you can stay here. You may have not noticed, but Catherine is here to do her work." Dr Jones said as I reflexively went for her wheelchair. "Since she's been working with me definitely longer than you did, it's easier for me to work with her. No offence."
"None taken. I'll use my time to rest a bit then." I answered, knowing it's the best for Dawn and knowing I needed some time alone.
"Okay, then. Let's go!"