Intense- Chapter 1
Dark. Cold. Alone.
That's all I see. Where am I?
Mum?
"Mum" I croak. I swing my head around suddenly looking for signs of life around me.
There is nothing but empty space in whatever room I'm in.
I try to stand but my legs won't move and then I remember where I am.
Locked in my room as usual after some stupid fight with mum.
I sit forward on the bed and try to move my legs but they won't respond.
A typical side effect of a bad anxiety attack which happens all too regularly when I'm around my mum.
She never leaves well enough alone, telling me not to leave the house to practice.
How will I learn to control a power that is forbidden to use?
Transforming is freeing the predatory urge inside me yearns to be wild and run.
But the only form I've managed to perfect so far is lower on the predatory hierarchy.
A fox. A beautiful purple furred fox that matches my hair.
As I look round my barren room, I see the aftermath of the fight with my mum.
Books littered everywhere after her throwing fit…chair overturned and of course, the bruise forming on my face from her rough touch.
I know she is volatile but this is overboard. Yes, I know I'm only twelve and too 'young' to know anything but I know this isn't normal.
I wish I knew my dad perhaps he could have helped this relationship I have with her.
I think she is trying to protect me but all I want is acceptance and love.
People think we kids with powers are freaks but we are just different and that's what we fought about.
Mum caught me transforming in the garden. She stormed over screaming how difficult a child I was and dragged me upstairs by my arm.
As she threw me in the room rage surged through me so I shouted back.
I told her she was a pathetic excuse of a mother and that she should help me practice so I have more control.
She proceeded to throw books screaming 'how dare... I tell her 'an adult' what she should be doing'.
The more violent she gets the more anxious I get which leads me to feel hypersensitive to my surroundings and the noise.
She loves those moments of weakness because it allows her to smile smugly and lock me in this room with no fight on my part.
I don't understand why it's this way.
Why does she hate me? Why am I alone? Am I cursed?
I feel the tears of frustration build as the sensation in my chest intensifies.
No, I can't have another attack right now…I need to breathe.
Okay, remember the calming technique you read about.
What can I feel? My bedcovers and the rough skin of my knees.
What can I hear? Water hitting the window.
What can I smell? Thanks to my animalistic instinct I smell the rain and my own anxiety stench.
What can I see? I see darkness. This probably means night has come.
I breathe a sigh of relief as my anxiety fades slowly away. As much as it's torturous it is better I get anxious during fights or my predatory power comes out.
I hate my mum but I don't want to hurt her, it feels weak to say but I'm not a monster and I don't want to be one.
I feel too uneasy and hungry to sleep. Perhaps I could practice here? Mum will kill me if she finds out but right now, I don't care.
I stand off the bed and wobble slightly before my strength comes. I stretch my arms like a bird to fly and breathe through my nose calmly. I feel a tug on my skin as fur grows through my skin and a ripple of pain as my bones crack and mold into the bones of a fox.
Once I open my eyes, I see the world from floor height but in so much definition as my eyes adjust to a fox. As I pad over to the window, I jump to the window sill and just observe.
With my fox ears, I appreciate the power of the wind as the howl of the owl echoes through the night. I smell the autumn leaves with the scent of real wildlife on them. But most of all I look at the moon wishing to be free.
I want out of this house. I want to see the world. Make friends. I don't want to be trapped here any longer.
As I find myself dreaming of life, I hear loud voices from below.
None of the words are clear enough but it's more than my mum alright.
Does she have friends over I don't know about?
The panic washes over me as I smell an unknown scent as the animal instincts in me start kicking in.
I refuse to turn back to humans and be more unaware that I actually am so I leap from the window and hide under my bed to stay safe.
The mumbling grows to certain words as the people come closer to my room.
As a confirmation, the stairs creak under the heavyweight of these unknown beings in my territory…. Imean house. Whenever I'm in predatory form the animal thoughts mesh with my own causing confusion.
Loudly my mum shouts "She's here."
Who's here? I'm not allowed to be around people so she can't mean me.
The key turns in the door startling me as I push my body as far under the bed as I can.
The door opens swiftly letting a stream of light in the room that stings my eyes.
I smell… two other people next to my mum who are they?
Fight or flight urges flood my mind before I can understand the situation.
"Well, you ain't getting money for nothing where's your brat!" Grumbled one of the new smelling people.
"She will be cowering under the bed as usual. Just grab her and be done with it." My mother turns and heads back downstairs.
Me..why do they want me …and why would mum let them take me. Surely our fight wasn't this bad…No..NO I don't want to go with these people.
The other man sticks his hand under the bed "Come out now. You ain't got any options you're coming with us"
Fight it is. I lean forward and sink my fangs into the man's palm.
He screams and jumps back cursing every god under the sun.
The other man approaches soon after. He yanks the bed forward revealing my hiding spot.
"We don't get paid enough to deal with your crap." He lurches forward and grabs my tail as I howl in pain.
He chuckles "got you now"
The other man with his bleeding handstands and takes me off the other.
"You wait till we get back. Your gonna regret making me bleed."
His blue eyes stare into mine and all I feel is a shiver the coldness that lies there, spikes terror in my heart. But I refuse to go down without a fight. My hind leg kicks out disarming him as he drops me in confusion.
I shift back to human and stagger to the doorway exhaustion taking its toll through the shift.
'MUM!' I scream as I slip down the stairs in my bewildered state.
As I get to the bottom and wince over the pain in my side…I see her standing there loathing radiating off her being.
'What's going on mum? Help me!' I cry struggling to stand as the men move clumsily down our rickety hallway.
Hope rises as she steps forward but falls quickly as she leans into my ear.
"You get what you deserve. 12 years of my life I gave up to raise you and you still aren't good enough. I deserve my chance at happiness and you won't ruin it."
I watch as my mum steps back and turns her back on me walking away.
A heavy grip on my heart grows…. soon after I feel a growl erupt from my throat as I run to my 'mother'.
She deserves pain. She doesn't deserve to be called a mother.
'AHHHHHHHHH!' I slam into a hard body as my fangs enlarge.
Who dares stop me from getting to my prey? I will remove anyone who deters me. She deserves this. I slash my claws around and catch one of the men's faces as he yells in agony.
However, before I get a chance to step over his body to get to Mother, I feel a sharp sting in my neck.
My eyes roll back as I feel my power fading. The last thing I see is my mother's fear-stricken eyes staring directly at me.
Before everything goes black.