Chereads / The scars within us / Chapter 6 - Chapter 6- Rage

Chapter 6 - Chapter 6- Rage

It didn't take long for us all to be completely swamped with homework, leaving little time to worry about anything else. Every subject that we had, brought another five foot long essay to be completed for the following week. If I hadn't known it before, it had now definitely been confirmed, our NEWT year was not going to be easy. I was taking seven NEWTs this year including Potions, Transfiguration, Herbology, Charms, Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. Although I hoped I no longer needed Defence Against the Dark Arts, I decided I had better continue with it just in case. Harry and Ron has selected five NEWTs so although they had a little more free time than me, they were still bogged down with homework.

I felt glad to be surrounded by my friends again, however as the days went on and the first few weeks passed, I realised that being back at Hogwarts wasn't the happy ever after that I was hoping for. I was still having sporadic nightmares, made worse by the fact that I now had to walk along corridors during the day only to be haunted by them at night. I could have handled that if I had my friends beside me, but I didn't, not fully anyway. I only had a few classes with the others so we spent more time apart than any of us were used to.

Quidditch try- outs had been held in the first week, and Harry (who had been re- appointed Quidditch captain) was desperate to get training started and get his team back into shape. As much as he enjoyed it, I had the feeling he was using it as a distraction to help keep his mind off of other things, not that i coils blame him.  Ron and Ginny were of course picked to be on the team, playing their old roles of Keeper and Chaser; Harry was of course too loyal to not pick them.

The three of them spent two nights every week training as well as a few hours at the weekend. And that was only the official training sessions. Ron spent a lot of extra time practising with Harry and Ginny. He seemed to be more motivated to train when he heard the news that Draco Malfoy was once again playing as seeker for the Slytherin team. Quidditch and Draco Malfoy were still two very sore subjects for Ron.

For the first few training sessions, I had gone down to watch them, sitting alone on the wooden stands. However instead of the usual empty stands it was crowded with admiring fans and members of the opposing teams coming to size up the competition. I tried to be supportive but I could only feign interest in for so long and there was only so long I could take sitting on my own, watching the others laughing and joking and having fun, while the spectators around me stared and pointed in my direction. So, after the first week I made my excuses and went to the library to read or study instead. To be honest I wasn't entirely sure they even noticed that I wasn't there.

When the others weren't at quidditch, we spent the rest of our evenings completing the mammoth amount of homework that we were receiving. We had a few moments together at meal times and very rarely an evening together. Harry and Ginny generally made excuses to be alone saying there were going for a 'walk' around the castle or so they said. I was certain that a few dark and empty corridors were gaining a two regular occupants. I was happy for them, truly I was. They deserved to be happy together. However their alone time meant that Ron and I were often left alone together but instead of making us closer, it seemed to be pushing us further apart. We sat in an awkward silence most of the time, both of knowing that there were unsaid words between us, but both of unsure what those words were. A few times he would start to speak, beginning with a hesitant 'Hermione', but then after a few moments would follow it with a 'never mind'. He tended to leave shortly after that, leaving me sitting on my own. On more than one occasion I would take the long lonely walk back to the Gryffindor common room, to find him sitting talking to Lavender Brown. Apparently whatever he couldn't say to me, he was having no problem saying to her.

I started to notice Lavender around more often. She would sit close to us at meal times, near us in the library and would be there whenever we walked down to the great hall or to our classes.

I knew it was irrational. I knew it was unfair. I knew that I had no right to feel that way, but I did. Ron had kissed me. He had kissed me and then ignored me and instead of talking to me, he was talking to someone else. I didn't know what I felt for Ron. Did I love him? I honestly didn't know. At one point I had thought I did. But when I saw the way Harry looked at Ginny and the way that she looked at him in return; when I saw the way they were absorbed in each other, I started to think that maybe it had been more comfort during a difficult time. One thing I knew for certain, was that Ron certainly didn't look that way at me. But then, I wasn't sure that I was ready to see him looking that way at somebody else either.

As the days and weeks progressed, Lavender began to appear more and more and so I began to be there less and less. I ate my meals as quickly as I could and then went to the library to give myself a break. My jaw was aching from how often I was clenching my teeth together, forcing myself to keep smiling, all the while trying not to gouge somebody's eyes out with my dessert spoon.

We had barely been back at Hogwarts for a few weeks and already I was finding myself increasingly alone.  The library had once again become my safe haven and I decided that if I was going to be alone then I could at least look busy while I did it. The library was often quiet in the evenings. It was too early for most people to properly start studying. There were of course the usual group of dedicated Ravenclaw who liked to work together at one of the larger tables. They were always quiet though, respecting the sanctity of the place of learning. Annoyingly, I had another near constant companion in the library, as Draco Malfoy appeared most nights too. In six years, I could only think of a handful of times that I had seen him in the place. The library was my safe haven and it put me on edge that he was there in what felt like my private space. I knew it was stupid. I knew that the school library was not there simply for my personal use but it felt wrong all the same. I felt like I couldn't relax. Like I couldn't be at peace. Like I couldn't concentrate. Like I was constantly on my guard, watching and waiting for him to make his move.

As it turned out I didn't need to worry as he kept himself to himself and didn't bother me or in fact anyone else. It seemed that it wasn't just my family and my friends who didn't need me anymore. It seemed that even Draco Malfoy had decided that I was beneath his attention.

At the start of the third week back, I was given something else to focus my mind on, when Ginny plonked herself down beside me at the Gryffindor table while I was eating breakfast.

'Hermione,' Ginny said all too sweetly, in a tone that I knew for a fact meant that she was just about to ask me for some kind of favour.

'Yes,' I answered, as I continued to butter my toast, not wanting to be drawn in. Ginny's favours could be anything and she had a way of making me agree to do anything, despite my better judgement. One time when she had convinced me to join her in taking one of George's new line of love potions had to be the worst. I shuddered at the memory of the way I acted that day. Unfortunately for me, the first boy I had seen that day was Neville. I don't think he'd ever quite gotten over it.

'Well, you see I've been thinking-'

'A dangerous past time,' I muttered through a mouthful of toast.

'You see, it's your birthday this week and it's your nineteenth and we missed your eighteenth last year, because of well… everything and so I was thinking that we could have a birthday party for you on Friday night. We haven't properly hung out or had any fun in ages and this would be the perfect opportunity.'

There was a lot of hand waving during her proposal which helped to distract me as I watched the trail of her hands through the air instead of focusing fully on her words. However, the second I did process her words and she noted the objection I was about to make she quickly put up a single finger to halt me and quickly added, 'nothing big of course, just a few friends. I was thinking the Room of Requirement.'

Ginny saw the wariness on my face and before I could even form the first syllable of my refusal, she cut me off again. 'Don't say no, just now. Just promise me you'll think about. I'll do all the work. All you'd need to do is turn up.'

I sighed deeply, knowing that Ginny wasn't going to let this one go easily. Birthday parties really weren't my thing and this year more than any, I didn't really feel like celebrating. 'Ginny, this was meant to be a no drama year. And that means no trouble and no detentions for having parties in rooms we aren't even supposed to know about.'

'Pfft, everyone knows about the room of requirement now. We won't get into trouble for using it.'

Seeing that she wasn't going to be swayed, I tried a different tactic. 'I was hoping we could just have something quiet. Just the four of us. It's been ages since we've spent proper time together.'

'We see each other all the time and a party would be so much fun,' she whined.

'Then let's save it for your birthday.'

'At least think about it, Hermione.' She leaned forward, giving me her cheesiest smile with wide imploring eyes. 'Please.'

'Fine. I'll think about it,' I lied, knowing full well that it would be a cold day in hell before I changed my mind.

The day of my birthday came all too soon. Ginny was still pushing for a party, but I was still putting her off. I spent breakfast that morning opening my birthday presents. I got a gorgeous new quill from Harry, made from a red phoenix feather, a beautiful gold necklace from Ginny that had a star pendent at the bottom, the traditional if unimaginative book from Ron, the usual box of sweets from Mrs Weasley and the promised box of beauty products from George.

When the small pile had all been opened, there was just one left. One that I deliberately left until the end. The present from my parents. We hadn't left things on the best of terms and the present they got me felt strangely important. I was aware of the eyes on me as I peeled back the pink wrapping paper revealing a leather bound of edition of Jane Eyre. It was one of my favourite books. It was an amazing gift. Or it would have been, if they hadn't already given me the exact same book a few years before. I felt the burn of tears hit the back of my eyes and quickly distracted myself with the card that was attached. I opened it up, recognising my mums neat handwriting.

Dear Hermione

Happy Birthday. We're sorry that we can't get to see you on your special day but we're sure you'll have a lovely day with your friends.

We hope you've settled in well at school. Things are good here with your dad and I and we've been keeping busy with work. I'm sure you're aware how difficult this has all been for us to settle back in to our life here, so we've decided to go back to Australia for Christmas, to see the friends we left behind. I trust this won't interfere with your plans. Have a great day and remember to write to us soon.

Love Mum and Dad

I read the letter through and then scanned over the words another twice. There was nothing wrong with the letter.  Nothing wrong with their words, but all at once the guilt I felt came rushing to the forefront and with it a wave of grief for everything that I had lost.  I had been trying to keep my tears at bay but I lost my fight as one tear spilled over the edge, running down my cheek. Quickly, I swiped it away, hoping it would go unnoticed, but I wasn't quick enough.

'Are you alright, Hermione?' Harry asked, concern in his eyes as he noted my reaction. 

'I'm fine,' I replied, forcing some cheer into my voice, hoping that my friends couldn't hear the lie in my voice. I busied myself by folding up the letter and put it away, forcing a smile on my face. 'Just a card from my parents.'

'Are they okay?'

'They're fine,' I said quickly, still not able to meet anyone's eyes. 'I just… I miss them.' I didn't need to lie. The pain in my voice was clear to everyone.

Harry nodded understandingly, seeming to accept my answer and returning to his breakfast. I excused myself from the table, saying that I had to get a book from the library before class and that I would meet them in Charms. In truth, I just needed some time alone to compose myself . As soon as I was out of the great hall, I had to stop, leaning against the cool stone wall, my eyes closed. My breaths were shaking and I could feel the emotion rippling just under the surface, desperate to break free, but I forced myself to breath deeply, forcing the emotions down and back under lock and key, refusing to let them free.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. I couldn't focus on anything. I didn't put my hand up to answer a question all day and when Professor Flitwick picked me to answer one, I got the answer wrong. I could see his eyes widen in surprise and I immediately lowered my eyes, trying to hide the flush that had appeared on my cheeks. Transfiguration wasn't much better. I couldn't focus, I couldn't clear my mind. All I could think about was how I'd ruined everything; how my parents would never forgive me and my work suffered because of it. I wasn't the first in the class to change the cushion into a rabbit. That honour went to Malfoy, who earned ten house points for Slytherin and I didn't miss the smug smirk that he shot in my direction. I could have died on the spot when the emotion I had been trying to push down rose to the surface and I felt the familiar prickling of my nose and I blinked hard to fight back the tears that were threatening to appear. I quickly turned away, ducking my head to hide behind my hair, but not before I saw his brow furrow in confusion.

I couldn't wait for lunch to come, so that I could have a break from the humiliation, but it ended up being so much worse. I was just approaching the Gryffindor table, when I heard two words that I hadn't heard in years. Two words that caused my whole body to cringe in angry irritation.

'Hi, Won Won,' came Lavender's squeal as she pushed past me and wrapped her arms around Ron's. Arms that he didn't push away.  I stopped dead in my tracks and felt my jaw drop. He was dating her. He was actually dating her. He was really just going to ignore what had happened between us and move on with someone else. He really didn't care about me anymore.

Despite Ron and I being in a somewhat non- existent relationship, I did still care for him and I had thought he had once cared for me. I had once thought that I would have the surname Weasley and be welcomed into that crazy home where I would be constantly surrounded by family; where I would never feel alone. As I watched Lavender plant her lips firmly onto Ron's, I saw that dream wither and die. Harry would marry Ginny, of that I was sure. He would always be there, a part of that family and I would once again remain the outsider, always looking on from the outside, always alone.

Underneath the hurt, it didn't take me long to realise that I was angry. No, I was furious. How dare he offer me a dream future and whip it all away without so much as a 'sorry, but no thanks'! How dare he ignore me all summer! How dare he be such an insensitive arsehole, parading around his new girlfriend on my bloody birthday!

Storming out of the hall, I took a quick walk before I made my way to the last class of the day, double potions; the perfect end to the perfect day. Rage continued to eat away inside me, not helped by the fact that due to that inconsiderate pricks, inconsiderate timing, I had skipped lunch. My patience was virtually non- existent and I tutted rather rudely when anyone got in my way and even barged past a few people who didn't get out of my way quick enough.

I was first to class that day and I sat in stiff silence, waiting for the class to start. The others called my name when they arrived, asking why I had missed lunch, but I just glared at Ron as he watched Lavender make her way across the room. With a disgusted snort, I reached into my bag and pulled out my notebook and textbook, banging them both on the table unnecessarily loudly.

Malfoy, who had arrived a few minutes before, looked around to glare down at me. 'Do you mind?' he snapped in irritation.

I shot him an equally hate filled glare before hissing back, 'Not particularly, no.'

I spent the next twenty minutes of the lesson, ignoring Professor Haven who was wittering away at the front of the class. Today we were making a healing potion for boils as our Polyjuice Potion had to brew for the next week before we could complete the next step. I had only two thoughts in my head and they kept swirling round and round on a near constant loop. Ron, my parents, Ron kissing Lavender, my parents hate me, Ron with his tongue down her throat, my parents abandoning me for Christmas, Ron bloody dating her. My body was completely tense and I could feel the anger radiating around me in pulsating waves. My jaw was clenched tightly, my hands were balled up into tight fists and they were practically shaking with the rage flowing through my body.

I hadn't calmed down any by the time we had to begin making our potion which actually turned out to be quite beneficial as I had to grind the porcupine quills with the pestle and mortar. I felt a huge amount of satisfaction as I twisted the pestle and heard the crunching of the porcupine quills as my anger and frustration ground them into dust. I imagined Ron's face at the bottom of the bowl as I obliterated the little quills into smithereens.

With only thirty minutes to, I happened to glance in Malfoy's direction and saw that he was about to screw up our second potion in a row.

'Malfoy, what the hell are you doing?' I hissed in his direction, satisfied when he looked at me, his eyes wide in surprise. 'Are you completely incompetent? It stated quite clearly that you add the dittany after the foxglove, not before.  Idiot.' I muttered the last word under my breath, but from the way he stiffened I knew that he heard.  It felt good to finally be releasing some of my pent up anger, even if it was at the wrong person.

'What is your problem, Granger?' he asked with a look of total shock on his face. If I didn't know better I would have said he actually looked quite hurt before the shutters came down and he reverted to his old unfeeling self. 'You still jealous that I beat your sorry arse for once? The mighty Granger didn't come top of a class,' he said giving me a self- satisfied sneer.

I recoiled slightly at his arrogance, but it didn't take me long to find a comeback.

'Oh, get over yourself, Malfoy. My problem is that you are completely and utterly incapable of brewing a decent potion.'

'Is that so? How have I managed to cope for all these years without your incessant bitching in my ear? Believe it or not Granger, you're not the only one who can actually do things.' He crossed his arms in front of him and his eyes flicked to the opposite side and then to the back. A knowing smirk appeared on his face. 'But then again, maybe it's not me your mad at. Maybe you're mad because Weasleby's got himself a new girlfriend.' He looked me down and then back up, pausing when he reached my hair and then booked in Ron's direction. 'I guess even he's not into the frizzy haired know it all, but then who would be?'

I would like to say that I didn't know what I was doing. I would like to say that something came over me, some red mist of anger that controlled my actions, but I couldn't. Because in that moment I finally let myself snap. All of the anger, all of the rage that had been pent up and building up throughout the day finally exploded. And I let it. I wanted it to be free. I needed it to be free. I needed all of that rage to be gone and so I directed it at the person standing in front of me. At Malfoy.

I grabbed my wand from my pocket, pointed it directly at him. Before his satisfied smirk could even begin to stoop, before his eyes could ever begin to widen in surprise, I said the spell in my head, throwing him back hard against the wall behind him. Not satisfied I flicked my wand again watching in satisfaction as his perfectly pale skin erupted with large, orange boils.

'What the hell?' he yelled, looking at the huge pussy boils on his hand. He stood in complete shock for a moment, before he retaliated, finding his wand and casting a hex at me in return. However was ready for him and I managed to deflect the spell, before quickly firing the Bat Bogey Hex at him. I wasn't as good at the curse as Ginny, but I was pleased when saw rather large grotesque, green bogies streaming down his nose that erupted into giant green bats. At that I couldn't help but burst out laughing. He looked so furious, but that only made the whole situation seem funnier.

However, he took advantage of my momentary lack of concentration and took the opportunity to fire a curse at me. recoiled slightly at the force of the spell hitting me and I waited for a moment, trying to figure out what he had done. When it was his turn to burst out laughing, I knew that he had done something, but I couldn't quite work what it was. That was until my vision was gradually obscured until I couldn't see anything at all. I put my hand up to my face and realised that it was completely covered by hair, which seemed to still be rapidly growing in length, as I could now feel it reach the backs of my legs.

'You bastard,' screamed at him. I pushed my hair out of my eyes, which wasn't easy, before firing another hex at him, which this time he actually managed to deflect. We continued firing hexes at each other, both managing to deflect them easily, even if half of my vision was obscured. My brain barely even registered the sound of a commotion behind me, but I was distracted enough to partially turn my head in the direction of the noise. I was half way between turning around when I heard 'Immobulus' and I was frozen still in my movements. No matter how hard I tried, the only part of my body that I could move was my eyes.

It was only when I was forced to be still that my mind began to clear and I immediately realised what I'd done.

Finally thinking clearly I took in the sight in front of me. Malfoy was standing in there, covered in bogies and huge orange boils, apparently paralysed like I was. Usually I would have laughed at this sight, but I was still in too much shock. Even if I had wanted to laugh, I still wasn't in control of my mouth. In fact I was pretty certain, it was still hanging open, ready to fire the next curse at Malfoy, before I had been frozen in place. I could only imagine what I looked like, with my already frizzy hair, now having reached the floor and billowing out like the train of a dress behind me.

Professor Haven then came into view and I felt my stomach squirm at the look of fury on her face.  She waved her wand again and I felt my hair retract to its usual length and watched as Malfoy's appearance too returned to normal. She then muttered a spell which allowed us to move again. I glanced around the class room and I swallowed hard as my stomach filled with horror.

Only a minute before, it had just been me and Malfoy. The two of us. Alone. Locked in a battle with each other. I hadn't been able to see or hear anything else. All I had known was that I was angry and I wanted to hurt him. As I gazed around the classroom, I gazed at a scene of complete and utter destruction. Our deflected hexes had clearly found targets elsewhere. Jars that sat on the shelves around the classroom lay shattered; their contents splattered against the wall and on the floor. I realised that half the occupants of the room were cowering behind their desks and the other half that hadn't quite made it to cover, were covered in red angry boils. I looked around confused as to why they were covered in boils, when my gaze fell onto a cauldron that currently lay in a mangled mess. I guess it had exploded, sending great dollops of potion flying across the classroom. I wondered which one of us had hit that. I prayed with all my magic that it hadn't been me.

My eyes eventually landed on the angry witch that stood before us. I was right before when I had said that she reminded of Professor McGonagall, but at that moment I realised that McGonagall had nothing on this woman. I winced as I realised that half of her face was also covered in angry red boils. Her eyes contained such rage that I couldn't bear to look at them and so I did the cowardly thing and looked at my feet.

'Never,' she said, her voice quiet, but no less menacing, 'have I seen anything so shameful in my life and from seventh years of all people.' Just like Professor McGonagall, Professor Haven didn't need to raise her voice to be terrifying. In fact it was the quietness of her voice that made the whole situation worse. 'Both of you gather your things and go and see Professor McGonagall immediately. She can deal with both of you.'

Malfoy turned and stormed out of the class ahead of me and I caught the look of pure rage on his face. I practically ran from the class, barely registering the looks of pure shock on Ron and Harry's faces.

I made my way to Professor McGonagall's office in a complete daze. What the hell had gotten into me? It was only Malfoy. I could handle Malfoy. He had pissed me off nearly every day in life and I had never before reacted that way. I tried to go as quickly as I could manage, knowing that he was already ahead of me. Part of me wished that I could delay the inevitable by walking as slowly as possible, yet Malfoy had left before me and I really didn't want to turn up too much later after him. I didn't need to get into trouble for wasting time as well.

When I finally reached the head mistresses office, I nervously knocked on the door and winced when I heard a sharp voice say, 'Come in.'

I took a deep breath before I walked into the office, scowling at Malfoy who was already sitting in front of the headmistresses desk but as I glanced at Professor McGonagall's furious face, I quickly lowered my eyes again. I had been in trouble before, but I had never been alone. I had always been with Harry and Ron and in our minds at least, there was usually a very good explanation for what we had done. This time it was all on me and I had no reasonable explanation to offer.

'Sit down, Miss Granger,' McGonagall said with that sharp edge to her voice that made every single pupil in Hogwarts completely fear her. I was experiencing first hand just how very true that was, although apparently not everyone was quite so affected.

As sat down next to Malfoy, I noticed how cool and calm he seemed. His true Malfoy mask was in place. I would wonder if he actually had any feelings at all if it weren't for the slight flush of his cheeks and the hard set of his jaw that told me exactly how he was feeling. I on the other hand was scarlet, my breath was shaky and uneven; my palms were so sweaty and my leg was bouncing up and down with the nervous twitch that I always got when I was scared or nervous. The people sitting around me in exams always hated sitting near me as my leg would be constantly bobbing up and down. I found it soothing, but others found it somewhat distracting. Professor McGonagall began to speak and I kept my eyes firmly on my lap, determined not to look at her. I couldn't bear to see the way she was looking at me. Like I had let her down.

'I have already had a note from Professor Haven explaining the events that occurred today in your potions class, so an explanation of events will not be necessary.'

I glanced up briefly at her eyes and immediately regretted it. Her steely eyes displayed such anger that it made me flinch. However it was the disappointment that I saw reflected in those blue eyes that threatened to bring the tears to my own.

'Both of you have caused a considerable amount of damage to your classroom and many of your fellow students as well as Professor Haven have had to go to the hospital wing to be treated for the effects of the potion that they were hit with. think that it goes without saying that I am extremely disappointed in you both. Both of you have previously been prefects at this school and as such I expect you to continue to act in a manner befitting of that position.'

She paused slightly and looked at the two of us, but this time kept my eyes firmly on my lap. Malfoy looked straight ahead, somewhere over her shoulder, almost as if he was bored. She sighed again as she began.

'I am aware that you two have had ...' she said, pausing briefly, as if searching for the right word, 'difficulties in the past, but I had expected that after the past years events that both of you could have been mature enough to have put these rivalries behind you.'

At that my head snapped up. Rivalries? Since when were me and Draco rivals? Tormentor and bully would be more accurate.

'I believe that I made it clear in the start of term speech that I expected members of different houses to work together. I warn both of you that a lengthy punishment is in order, after the severity of your actions.'

I felt my stomach drop at her words. I was a complete and utter idiot. What had gotten into me? Professor McGonagall pondered the options for a minute, before finally settling on our punishment.

'Hmm, well let me think,' she paused for a moment, looking around the circular room for inspiration. Something about the way that she was looking at the two of us over the top of her glasses made me feel nervous. I would swear there was a glint of malice in those eyes. 'Ah yes. Madame Pince was saying just this week that many of the library books are in need of re- cataloguing and repair. I think that she would be more than grateful for some assistance in cataloguing the books.'

As much as I loved books and spending time in the library, working alongside Madame Pince was less appealing. If I loved books, then Madame Pince lived for them. I was surprised that she actually let any of the students touch the books she was so obsessed with keeping them safe. She would never actually allow anyone to meddle in her precious system. Not to mention that there were thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of books in that library. Cataloguing the books would take weeks, something which I unfortunately blurted out.

'Yes, I believe that it will take quite some time, but the good news for both of you is that you will be completing your detention together, so it will give you the perfect opportunity to learn to work together. Perhaps you might learn a thing or two about tolerance and co-operation.' Draco and I exchanged a shared look of utter horror at the very idea of having to work together. Professor McGonogall carried on regardless, 'You will have detention every week until the Christmas break. Ample time to complete the task I should think.'

At this I closed my eyes and let out a quiet groan. As bad as spending time in the library with both Madame Pince and Malfoy was going to be, I was now going to be doing it every week for three whole months. Malfoy was apparently just as horrified at this prospect as I was, as his cool exterior seemed to have shattered. He shot forward in his seat and had no problem in voicing his disgust to our new head teacher.

'Months of detention for one tiny little incident that wasn't even my fault! That's insane, and besides the day Granger and I work together is the day that the Chudley Cannons win the Quidditch cup. She's a nightmare.' At this he flopped backwards in the chair with a loud thump, folded his arms and shot me a look of contempt just to make his emotions even more clear.

I quickly forgot that I was currently in the headmistress's office and I seemed to have forgotten the reason that I was here in the first place, but something about that boy got my blood boiling. I lifted my head to meet his angry eyes, filling my own with as much hate as I could muster. I struggled to keep my voice calm, but failed miserably as I shot back 'oh don't worry, Malfoy,' I spat out with much more venom that I had intended, 'the feeling is entirely mutual.'

We continued to glare at each other, shooting the other looks of utter revulsion, completely forgetting that we were actually sitting in front of the head teacher. Professor McGonagall simply sat at her desk, her gaze lingering on the two of us, watching our exchange with interest.

'Well in that case,' she began, as both our pairs of eyes darted hopefully to her, 'Since you and Mr Malfoy, don't think that you can work sufficiently well together, I suggest that we make the detentions twice a week, just to ensure that you have ample time to work on your tolerance of each and to get the task done to a high standard.'

It took a moment for me to fully process what I had heard and as I absorbed the information that I was hearing, my eyes widened and my jaw dropped. I turned to glare at Malfoy for making the situation worse and realised that his expression was the exact mirror image of mine. Then just as I cried out 'but that's not fair!' I heard Malfoy say the exact same thing at the exact same time. I turned to give him one furious glare, hoping that I was conveying the message, 'this is your fault!' when I noticed that he too had turned to give me similar look. I turned my head away from him in disgust, stewing at the situation that I found myself in. I knew it was completely my own fault that we were in this situation, but my irrational side wanted to blame him. After all he had just gone and doubled our punishment with his stupid big mouth.

Professor McGonagall stood up and raised her hand out in front of her, to stop us from arguing with her further. I wanted to say more to her, about how this would interfere with our studies, but couldn't muster up enough courage to argue further with her.

'Now Miss Granger, Mr Malfoy, I should warn you both that any more incidents of this nature from either or you will result in more punishments and the removal of certain privileges such as Quidditch, Hogsmeade visits and may even result in letters home to your parents.'

I heard Malfoy gasp slightly as this. I was pretty sure he was more worried about losing Quidditch privileges rather than the prospect of a letter home. I bet his parents would probably be quite proud that their son had been fighting, especially with their least favourite mudblood. I however was terrified at this prospect. My parents relationship with my parents was already strained. They didn't need to hear how I started attacking people in classrooms.

'You will have detentions every Saturday afternoon and Wednesday evenings, beginning tomorrow. Mr Malfoy, you may return to class, Miss Granger, if you could wait here for a moment.' Malfoy certainly didn't need telling twice and practically ran out of the door, slamming it rather loudly behind him. I determinedly watched him leave, wanting to prolong the moment where I would have to look back at McGonagall and receive another telling off. However, when I did eventually look back at her face, I was surprised to see that her eyes weren't full of anger or even disappointment, they were full of concern.

'Miss Granger, is everything alright? I know it must be difficult being back after what you've been through, and I know that you and Mr Malfoy have never got on particularly well, but I am concerned at your behaviour today.'

In truth I thought, I was far from alright. My parents hated me, Ron had moved on, Harry and Ginny were spending more and more time together and I was feeling more and more alone. However that wasn't something I would ever admit to anyone, least of all the head teacher, so I went with the easy answer.

'I'm fine, Professor,' I answered, trying to give her a smile. 'Honestly. I guess I'm just a little tired and a little stressed. I'm really sorry for what happened today. I don't know what came over me.'

McGonagall looked doubtingly at me, but tried to give me a comforting smile. 'Are you sure Miss Granger? Mr Malfoy hasn't done or said anything?'

She looked completely uncomfortable at having to ask the question and for a split second I actually felt kind of sorry for Malfoy since he technically had only been defending himself from my crazed attack.

'No, Professor, it's nothing to do with him.' I hesitated slightly. 'Can I go now Professor?' I didn't want to be rude, but neither did I want to sit here answering awkward questions.

Professor McGonagall sighed slightly at my response, but then said, 'yes of course Miss Granger. Please remember that I am always here if you need to talk.'

I gave her a small smile in return, but on the inside I could honestly not think of anything I would rather not do. I practically ran to the door, afraid that she would call me back and let out a relieved sigh when I was finally safe on the other side of the door. Detention with Malfoy for three whole months. Well, happy flipping birthday to me!