I woke up then in my bed no mystery man no delicious-looking food. Wait a minute I never remember my dreams. I woke up then in my bed with no mystery man and no delicious-looking food. Wait, a minute I never remember my dreams. The only ones I remember are the scary ones the ones that I remember forever and I can't get the images of my head. Like the time where I dreamed my mom had a heart attack and woke up screaming for her. This was one of the first nights that my dad had slept[t in my moms's bed after she came back so it really freaked me out. I do not have the best relationship with her but I mean you only have one mom. Anything to do with my family being sick causes me sometimes have a panic attack. Dreams should not do that too but sometimes dreams just seem too real. Dreams for me are 95% the worst and the other 5% are good but I cannot remember them.
Waking up looking around my room the sunlight hitting me in the face before I was fully awake. Mystery man still in my thoughts. How did he get into my room? Why did I not attack him even though it was a dream? I just sat there I mean maybe I should have done something but his presence made me freeze. If this wasn't a dream I guess I would just be dead. Killed because I got distracted by a hot guy in my dream... All I could think of was his curly brown messy hair and blue eyes were still living rent-free in my head. Who even was that? When I looked around my room, I was expecting a serial killer with delicious eggs to be sitting at the end of my bed but nope. Now that would make a great story but no Edward Cullen at the bottom of my bed. First off, how did I know he was a serial killer? He could have just been a random guy I dreamed up. I looked at the bottom of my bed and it was just Bianca. It was just my cat. Of course, it was who else could it be? I need to stop being so paranoid. Maybe the thing that scares me is that I can not run away. I need my walker to walk and if someone wanted to they could just hurt me. I shuddered to look at my covers. The familiar fur of Bianca was all over it. " At least I have you" Her black and white fur was all over my bed making a grayish color. I pet her and she rolled away following me after I get up from the bed. Then she went in front of me as I rolled my walker out of the way making my way to the bathroom. It's a short walk to the bathroom that is across from my room.
After the stupid dream, I needed a refresher, so I washed my face and then started putting on my makeup. Putting makeup on my caramel skin taking a makeup brush and washing a brown color over my lid. Simple makeup is better for a first job especially a job working with kids. That's what I learned from my professors at my college when I went for Early Childhood Education for my Associates. That's all they would talk about about what was professional and what wasn't. It was kind annoying but they just tru=ying to teach about how teachers might lose their jobs. I even had a professor that talked about a teacher that had gone on vacation and on the private Facebook that had a picture of her with a glass of beer in her hand and somehow a partner found the picture and the teacher had to defend herself. I just find that so stupid but we as educators need to be professional. We are adults if parents have a problem with a picture on our personal Facebook that seems like a personal problem especially if the profiles private. I don't know seems like someone went digging for something to get mad at.
" Finally, you're awake." My mom scoffed . I ignored her as I walked more into the kitchen. Walking with a walker helps me since I was born with a walking disability that I cannot control. It does not take over my life since I work as a mentor and tutor for kids in a public school. I start today and the anxiety of dealing with my mother this morning is not helping my anxiety about starting my first job. I really did not need my mom trying to mess with me this early in the morning. Can she please just let me have a good morning. We don't have to fight about everything.
" Can I get there so I can make my coffee and get ready for my day?" My mom looked at me with a grimace looking at me like my question had even the slightest attitude in it. It seemed like any time I did ask her something it seemed like she always had had a problem with what I was asking her. I tried not to roll my eyes and find just waited for her to move out of the way. Her walker was in between the oven and the sink so I could be past her to the coffee maker. She knew I was starting this new job so she should be happy that I would be able to help her out but it seemed like she was in an even worse mood then before and it was freaking me out. I could tell that she was burning for a fight. Thats who she is as a person. I learned that from when I was younger. Anything that sets her off you better back off, shut your mouth, and just let it go.
But my brother would make it 10x worse for use he would talk back making me mom blame both of us. It caused a lot of times we were supposed to go dinner he would go off and she would just take us home. There were many times where she would just group me and him together,. That we didnt really appreciate the thing that she did for us growing up. But for me she's all I had but there's sometimes like today that I just want to scream at her. It's not that serious.
" No, not till I wash these dishes that you left in here." She still wouldn't move as she washed the dishes as slow as she could. I knew that she was messing with me so I just let her do it. I hated her she did this but she loves washing the dishes and making sure that the kitchen was really clean. I like and hate the fact that she does that but it's fine. Its not like I hate that fact that she cleans but she does it when I have places to go or want something to eat and it drives me crazy. Living with her was driving me crazy but where else am I gonna live where there's free rent and I just have to pay my bills.
" Whatever." This happens every morning and I'm not going to miss this as I will be gone all day now that I have a job where I leave at 6 a.m. Living with my mom is beneficial but is annoying all the same. I know you're supposed to respect your mom but when she calls you out of your name and makes me cry. It gets to be too much sometimes and I just go off on her. I'm not saying I'm right I know I'm not but it's better than being upset all day.
" Roxie don't talk to me like that. If you are going to act like that you can find a shelter to sleep in."
"It would be better than being here." I don't mean that and she knows I don't but seeing her face fall as I say that does not hurt less. It hurts me when I hurt her but if I don't fight back sometimes, I feel like she tries to ruin my life again.
I try not to think of the time my mom almost ruined my life and I had to go live with my grandparents who turned out to be worse than my mom for eight months. I never wanted to live there because my brother lived there and he's crazy. Crazy with a capital C but that's another story. All I want to do is not think about this and get to my job. Being in college is so much different than having a job and I know that's going to be crazy when I have to do both but I know I am going to do well.
The only thing that scares me is how the kids are going to react to me. I'm good with younger kids but I'm working with fourth graders now, I'm excited but I'm nervous at the same time. What if I mess up what if? What if my coworkers take one look at my walker and my limp and say I'm not fit for this job? I try not to think of that as I finally get to the coffee maker once my mom walks past me with her walker making her way to her room.
Now that she is retired, she just chills and watches her tv shows all day, one day that would be me and I'm not looking forward to it. I like being busy but sometimes I think of what would happen if I did have to just chill in my room for months and months. I think I would go insane.
Making my way outside my apartment taking the keys in my hands that were around my neck locking the door and making my way towards the elevator. The elevator quickly makes it up to the twenty-fourth floor and I step on and there is already a woman on the elevator but I just get on looking anywhere but at her, as the number counts down. I shift my legs back and forth. I hate the feeling of being in the elevator with someone I do not know why she made me so nervous but she did and the silence was defeating. I find it weird when people don't say anything when they get on the elevator it makes the interaction well lack of interaction freaking awkward. I hate it so much.
I took a moment to glance at her but before I could the elevator chimed and we had already reached the lobby. I made my way out of the elevator opening the heavy front door pushing my walker through cursing to myself about why do we have those self-opening doors that the other buildings have been getting since the summer. The door seems to be heavier when I told and Im super tired this morning after talking with my mom this morning.
But I forget that when I see my ride already there for me but he's a little bit down the street from me so I book it well as much as I can trying to call out to the driver who doesn't hear me. They never do. I get to the door of the bus and the guy looks up from his phone and finally opens the door. He looks at me like he's shocked that Im even in front of him. Its always weird to me that they do that. You know your'e picking up someone and you
"Are you Roxie?"
"Roxie Harris, right?" The man nodded and I waited for him to get out of the car. I stepped back so he could put down the lift so I could get on the bus. Finally, I was on the way to my new job. Well, my first job ever.
When we arrived at the school I had never been there before so when the driver asked if this was the address. I took out my phone to check to make sure this was the right address. It was so I went in struggling to get up the big step in front of the school. I never even thought about this when I found out I would be working in a school.
My manager Tasha had said to just come in and the auditorium would be on your right. It was really easy to find where I had to go through. I made my way down the wall way of the auditorium seeing the people in front of me in plain clothes just me. We haven't gotten informs yet. As I made my way toward the stage, I saw a tall man with his back to me. He was way taller than my five two self-abut I was used to people being taller than me I mean it was just natural since I am so short. I shook my thoughts away as I got ready to introduce myself to everyone.
"Okay everyone it's the start of the first day!" I walked into the gym looked down as I walked just in case, so I do not fall on my face. I make my way to the stage and looked up to see a man who looked familiar. He is tall like tall, but it is because he is on the stage. Wait where have I seen this guy? My mind blanked as I stared at him as I made my way closer to the stage. Oh, it is the guy from my dream. I can feel my face heat up as he smiles at me.
This cannot be happening.
It's the guy from my dream. The creepy guy that told me not to tell anyone he was in my dream. Was this a trap or a trick? Am I going crazy? His smile fell for a few seconds before he hopping off the stage stepping toward me before he could come closer a girl came to tell me. She couldn't be older than eighteen with a big old smile on her face.
"Hi, I'm Tish. Nice to meet you." She went in for a hug but looked at my face probably seeing the scared expression on my face after seeing a mystery man in real life. Tish put a handout and I breathed out a beat and shook her hand.
" Roxie. Roxie Harris." The man behind Tish was looking at me like he saw a ghost and I know my face was pale as well even though my skin is dark compared to his. Tish was talking to me but all I could do was stare at the man behind her it's like I had seen him before seeing him in my dream. I was trying to rack my brain where else I would have known him from when a woman came into the auditorium yelling something I either could not hear or did not want to.
"Okay everyone come up to the stage and stand in a circle!" Everyone came to the stage I counted sixteen of us as I walked up to the stage.