After our initial meeting at the library, I would begin to spend more time with Tohru-kun. Tohru-kun would continue writing stories while I would continue to read. Every day was like that. Spending the days like that, it really was a lot of fun. Little by little, I began to understand Tohru-kun. He's radiant like the sun, which was a far cry from me, who lacked any self-confidence, her head always hanging down low.
One day, I told Tohru-kun about how I was worried about the way I talked and how everyone in my class thought about it. He responded immediately.
"I don't think it's all the bad. Your way of speaking is pretty cool!"
He cut down my worries with a smile. He was as kind as ever. Hearing those words made me happy beyond belief.
"Thanks... a lot."
I could feel my voice shaking a lot.
And on another day, I told Tohru-kun about my worries of how I wasn't good at studying or athletics at all. Again, he responded immediately.
"Don't say that! Rin-chan, you're super cute, your way of speaking is so cool and you're always so honest, you're definitely not worthless!"
Again, with his bright smile, Tohru-kun cut down my worries. Even though he didn't realize it, his words saved me from a dark place. Again, I was so, so happy.
"Thanks... so much."
My voice was trembling again.
And on yet another day, I told Tohru-kun that I had no friends in my class. I also told Tohru-kun how much fun I had spending time with him after school.
"Th-then, let's be friends."
For some reason, his usual composure wasn't there.
"I don't.... really have any friends in my class either. So I would be really happy if I became friends with you, Rin-chan."
Tohru-kun looked at me, his eyes fluttering and cheeks red, as he asked me that. Why did my chest start feeling weird again? I answered, trying my best not to make my mouth go all loose.
"Yes, of course."
On that day, Tohru-kun and I became friends.
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Because the way I spoke was different from everyone else, I was teased a lot. Looking back, it was more bullying than teasing though. On yet another, I was being bullied again, this time in the multi-purpose classroom. My eyes, my way of speaking, my terrible grades and athletic abilities, all of it. My classmates kept bringing up all the things I wanted to forget, and each time, it felt like a massive weight was being placed on my chest. Eventually, I reached a tipping point and I started bawling. My classmates left me all alone in the classroom, satisfied at what they were looking at. And so, I was all alone crying to myself. Both my heart and body were frozen as I didn't move one bit. Therefore, I didn't go to the library that day either. In my mind, I was apologizing to Tohru-kun many times over. And then...
"What's wrong?"
This scene played out like one of these shoujo manga I read recently, like a prince on a white horse coming to save the princess. Perhaps, this was what the princess felt like. Tohru-kun found me. I just felt so relieved, happy. However, there was a bit of sadness left in me. Tears kept on flowing out as I still needed more time to sort through my emotions.
Tohru-kun then came up to me and started gently stroking my cheek. He continued to stroke my face without saying a thing as I began to calm down. It was thanks to him that I was able to calm down like I did. I kept apologizing for not going to the library, for making him worried and a whole bunch of other things.
"Why are you apologizing?"
As if he didn't care, Tohru-kun asked me that. I shook my head as I felt so much warmth stockpiling in my chest. Afterwards, Tohru-kun took me to a burger place.
"When you're sad, eating something yummy is the best, that's why!"
That was what he said, and he was right, It was the first time I ate a teriyaki burger and it tasted better than any other treat I ever had. I kept stuffing my cheeks. It was Tohru-kun's kindness that helped calm me down, and yet my eyes still felt a little moist.
From that day onwards, we started hanging out more and not confining ourselves to the library after school.
________________
After eating at the teriyaki burger place, things changed a bit, well maybe a lot. Quite a few things changed in fact. Whenever I was with Tohru-kun, my heart would start pounding and my face would get all hot. Those emotions I felt when I saw Tohru-kun take in that kitten started flooding back to me. At that time, I wasn't able to vocalize my emotions, so I continued going about each day with doubt. And so, one day...
"Hey, I brought you this cool thing today!"
With that, Tohru-kun gave me a present. It was a pastel pink charm, with some difficult kanji written on it. This was a present for me to not cry anymore after I bawled my eyes out a few days prior. I could feel my chest ringing like crazy.
"This color is really cute, isn't it? It totally suits you well Rin!"
Cute, suits me well...
My heart started to dance like crazy, hearing those words. What is this? I couldn't control my happiness at all. I felt afloat, like I was on the porch facing the sunlight. Before I knew it, I was panting. What was this strange feeling? At the time, I really didn't understand those emotions at all. But I would understand before long, so I wasn't worried. I was already so happy then.
"Thank you... so much."
I verbalized all my gratitude to Tohru-kun as I hugged the charm close into my chest.