Ren
Simula nang magpaalam si Nigel na manliligaw sa akin ay tila naghigpit ang papa ko. Feeling ata nila magpapakasal na ako. Ni di ko pa nga Jowa si Nigel. Yung totoo? At di lang sila ang nagbago. Kasabay ko sa pagpasok sina Kai at Nigel.
"Nakatulog ka ba ng maayos?" tanong sa akin ni Nigel.
"Oo, ikaw?" tanong ko pabalik.
"Yes, but I miss you soon as I wake up."
Putspa! Landi! Okay na sana kung di lang nakaharang si Kai sa pagitan namin. Sinasadya pa atang di kami magkakitaan ni Nigel.
"Hurry up the both of you, we'll be late if you don't stop flirting," Kai said in an irritated tone. Napanguso na lang ako ata napakunt ng noo dahil sa pagsusungit niya. Gusto ko siyang kutusan sa sinabi niya ngunit wala kaming nagawa ni Nigel kundi ang sundin siya.
Kung di ako nagkakamali sinabihan siya ni papa na bantayan kaming dalawa ni Nigel, not because he cares. Pakiramdam ko ay isa akong kriminal sa ginagawa niya. He never lets me out of his sight.
Kainis!
"Bakit mo ba 'to ginagawa?" Iritang tanong ko nang maiwan kaming dalawa ni Kai na nakaupo sa isang bench sa mini park ng school.
"What?" he asked as his eyes narrowed.
"What mo mukha mo! Pwede mo naman di sundin ang sinabi ni papa lalo kung napipilitan ka lang." pahaging ko as I darted my eyes at him.
"You're anxious because I kept on bugging you and Nigel," he sneered. Inirapan ko na lamang siya.
"Don't roll your eyes at me," utos niya.
Sino ba siya sa akala niya?
"I'm worried about you, and I'll keep my eyes on you weather Tito Felton ask me to," sabi niya. I gave him a shrug not believing in what he said. I'm done caring, I had enough.
"Magsasawa ka rin, stop pretending that you care. We both know you don't," bulong ko.
"Stop acting like this just because I didn't reciprocate your feelings," he said with a smirk.
Nahigit ko ang aking hininga dahil sa sinabi niya. Di ko na kaya! He's being too harsh. Ipagduldulan ba naman na ako lang ang may gusto sa kanya.
"Fuck off Kaine!" I cussed at him.
This is the final straw I can't pretend that I'm okay anymore. Hindi ako nagsisisi na sinabi ko yun. Masyado nang masakit sa pakiramdam. I saw his eyes widened, shocked at how I reacted. I walked out didn't bother looking back, as tears fell from my eyes. I hate him! How dare him laughed at how he dumped me. I heaved, as I take long strides away from him. He is not the Kai I liked.
***
Kai
I just watch Ren leave with a heavy heart. She hates me now. You really fucked up this time Kai! You hurt her again.
Why can't you just be honest with her?
Why can't you show her how you really feel?
Can you just please break down your walls.
If you don't follow her right now, you'll lose her forever.
I can't, lose her.
***
Ren
Pilit kong pinupunasan ng mga kamay ko ang mga luhang nagsisipatakan mula sa mata ako.
Ayoko nang ganito, bakit nasasaktan pa rin ako?
This is more than just a heartache. Wala na akong pake kung may makakita man sa akin. I just want to release this feeling. Out of the blue, someone pulled me from the back, soon enough I was locked inside someone's strong arms. I bit my lips as my body quivers from crying.
"What's wrong Seiren?"
I couldn't stop crying as Nigel gently runs his hand on my hair. I clutch unto his shirt and buried my face on his chest and continued sobbing. He didn't stopped me from crying, he let me cry as long as I want.
***
It's been 2 days and I still haven't talked to Kai. Lagi pa rin nakamasid si Kai sa amin pero pinipilit ko na lang na di siya pansinin.
"Kelan mo ako sasagutin Seiren?" tanong sa akin ni Nigel.
"Sasagutin pala kita, di ako informed," pang aasar ko kay Nigel.
Nasa Library kami ngayon at nag rereview para sa long quiz namin mamaya. Nigel is cute, nice, kind, thoughtful. Ano pa bang hahanapin ko sa isang boyfriend. Ang swerte ko na kung sakali. Kaso palikero ang bata lahat ng pwedeng landiin, lalandiin. Nasa utak ko pa din ang sinabi ni Kai noon na lahat ng kanya ay inaagaw nito.
It came to my mind that maybe this is one of his ploys to annoy Kai. Pero naisip ko din na baka hindi. I'm really confused about this.
"May usapan tayo, di ka na naman tutupad," pag dadahilan ko sa kanya.
"Baka lang naman lumusot," he pouted. I find it cute, he is adorable.
***
Napakalamig ng gabi, Kinikilabuan ako sa tuwing dumadampi ang malaks na hangin sa aking balat. Napupuno ang kalngitan ng mga nagkikislapang bituin. Sa mga oras na ito ay dapat tulog na ako ngunit imbis na matulog ay umakyat ako sa bubong suot suot ang aking hooded jacket. Dahan-dahan akong humakbang habang nakataas ang makabila kong kamay sa gilid, sinusubukang bumalanse kahit alam ko namang di ako mahuhulog. Umakyat ako sa maliit na hagdan patngo sa pinakatuktok ng bubong, only to find Kai was their laying on his back one arm under his head.
Wrong timing!
Bababa na sana ako nang bigla siyang magsalita.
"Stay please," he implored with a silvery tone.
It was hypnotizing nakaita ko na lamang ang sarili kong nagpatuloy sa pag akyat at umupo sa tabi niya. I just stared at the sky, it was beautiful but it made me sad the longer I look. Kai and I were both quiet, no one dared to speak for a moment.
"You're still mad at me right?" he queued. Tumango ako bilang pag-sang ayon. I could still see his face through the dark and he's wearing a doleful expression as he looks at the sky.
"Sometimes I wished we didn't knew each other."
Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya, why would he even say that? Like he regrets everything. Di ko na nagawang magsalita pa. I bit my lip to and look up to the sky again just to stop myself from crying.
"Meeting you means hurting you, I don't want to hurt you. But I was happy you came into my life," sabi niya.
"Well snaktan mo na ako," I sighed.
"I suck at everything, I even sucked at being your friend," he gave out a dry laugh.
"I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry that I can't love you. It's not that I don't want you, because I do. I just can't make you feel loved and break your heart afterwards. I'm not what you think I am," he tried to apologize. "If it means protecting you, I'd rather break your heart." dugtong niya.
I'm confused at his words, but why do I feel like he was hurting too.
"I can protect myself. You could just be honest with me, what do you really feel," pangungumbinsi ko sa kanya.
"You wouldn't understand," he hesitated.
"I'll try to understand, you know I'm good at understanding. We wouldn't be friends if I'm not," I tried to persuade him to tell me what he really feels.
"No, I can't drag you into this mess," tanggi niya.
"I'm already in that mess," I answered. He sat up and faced me.
"You're really unbelievable Ren," he exclaimed as if accepting defeat.
"And why is that?" Usisa ko.
"I didn't know you can pull off a conversation in English," he joked.
Really? Matapos ng lahat ng sinabi ko yun lang ang sasabihin niya?
"I'm just kidding," he sneered.
"I may not be stupid as you think I am," sabi ko.
"I know you're not," he agreed.
"I didn't know you can pull off a conversation this long." It was my time to kid around.
"Why do you always push too hard?" He asked out of nowhere.
"That's what bestfriends are like," I explained.
"What if one day I'll just leave without saying a word?" he asked.
His voice was kind of sad, as if it will happen.
"I'll wait for you to come back," I answered candidly.
" What if I don't come back?" he asked again.
"I know you will come back, thinking that I'm waiting for you," I answered confidently.
"You really have faith in me," he was quite amused with my answer.
"I do," I assured him.
We just stared at each other and smiled. Gumaan ang pakiramdam ko, ewan ko kung bakit.
"How are you and Nigel?" he suddenly asked.
"Were good, as if you don't know," I answered him.
"When will you say yes?" he asked hesitantly.
"I don't know," I answered earnestly. I was really not sure.
"Okay," he answered. Parang may gusto pa siyang sabihin pero di na niya tinuloy.
"Iniiba mo ang usapan Kai, uulitin ko what do you really feel?" pangungulit kong muli.
It felt like it's been ages since we had a chat.
"I wanted to run after you, when you walked out of the park. I was there when Nigel held you in his arms," he recalled.
"Then I realize I'm a jerk," he admitted.
"Yes you are," I agreed.
"Can you promise me something?" he asked.
"What is it?" tanong ko.
Anong trip niya?
"Promise me that you won't forget me. That you'll always try to remember," he said.
"As if I would forget you," I shrugged.
"Just promise me," he insisted.
"Aba bakit ikaw lang, ako din dapat," reklamo ko.
"Promise me that you'll come back. If ever we will part ways," sabi ko. I lifted my hands and extended my pinky finger towards him.
"What's this?" he asked.
"Pinky swear, dali na!" pilit ko sa kanya. He did as to what I say.
"Promise!" we both agreed. We decided to go back in our rooms after few hours.
***
We were having our breakfast when my brother started complaining about something.
"Pa, ako lang ba or may mga pusa kagabi sa bubungan?" tanong niya.
"Bakit?" tanong ni papa.
"Ang iingay kasi, di ako makatulog ng maayos," reklamo pa nito. Nagpigil ako ng tawa. Siniko naman ni Kai ang kamay ko para tumahimik. He was in his usual seat beside me. Alam ko medyo naguluhan sina Papa at kuya dahil tila naging close kami ulit ni Kai.
< End of Chapter 13 >