I didn't speak to him properly after I caught him drinking. Every time I looked at him, he would give me an apologetic look and immediately turn away, almost like he was avoiding me but he didn't want to. We still did the Year 7 tuition but unlike last time, we were actually helping them and teaching them. I really wanted to get our old relationship back but I knew he felt embarrassed about telling me all that stuff, but I miss him. I miss him and I know he misses me.
Friday 11th March (2016)
As another responsibility of being in the student leadership team, I have to help out at this trial day for new potential students joining next year, all new form mentors had been assigned and Mr Carter was in charge of form 7MIC (Michael Carter). As you'd guessed, and just my luck, me and a few others were placed with 7MIC for the trial day - great. A whole day with Mr Carter what could go wrong.
Apart from the obvious anxiety of what's going to happen, I was so happy. I'd missed him and now finally I had an excuse to see him and try to clear the air. I instantly told Nancy and Billie, and they were just as excited as me as I'd been complaining about not talking to him for months - it was more of a relief for them.
So, it's the trial day and the day where I meet his form and more importantly spend the day with him (I gather I sound like Joe Goldberg). We started off in the main hall, listening to the headteacher talk about the school timetable and soon after, all the other forms left and it was just 7MIC left, but he hadn't turned up yet.
As first period on 7MIC's timetable was to have a talk in the hall with the headteacher, I started to speak to the other student helpers when I turned round the see him there. I literally took a double glance before watching him walk towards me with a smile on his face. Nerves got the better of me however, and I just sat down at the side next to some of his form.
Mr Carter made his way to the front and introduced himself to his new form, before standing at the side and listening to the headteacher begin his talk. As he started talking about expectations in September, I could sense a pair of eyes burning at me. I could see peripherally that Mr Carter was watching me, not even phased at the fact his boss is stood three metres away from him.
He slowly started to shuffle towards me, I felt sick with nerves as he stopped behind me, slowly leaning over my shoulders so his lips where next to my ear. I could feel his breath and smell his aftershave as he started to whisper something,
"Taylor... I'm so... I just wanted to apologise for... you know..." He stuttered nervously before taking a deep breath and carrying on.
"I take it the fact you've agreed to this means you're not mad at me or embarrassed by me."
"Sir, I'm here aren't I? I've been worried sick the past few months it's been awful not talking. How are you feeling?" I replied concerned but somewhat relieved.
"You know peaks and troughs, but that's life..." He carried on before getting interrupted by the headteacher - of whom we clearly forget was at the front of the hall.
"Miss Taylor, stop distracting my staff and get back to helping... Thank you." The headteacher said sternly, slightly intimidating me.
I smiled apologetically before turning my head to Mr Carter to see him smirking down at me. He winked and mouthed 'we'll finish this later', before scooting back to his original position.
So I carried on watching this talk, obviously not concentrating from that, whatever that was, that just happened. Did he really just decide to whisper in my ear to apologise for something whilst standing metres away from his boss, whilst his boss was doing a speech Again however, to bring me back out of my thoughts, all I could see from the corner of my eye was Mr Carter staring at me... again. Looking over, I was right and he was there looking right at me, when we got eye contact he mouthed 'it's so hot in here'. I mouthed back, 'I know its boiling' while fanning my face.
After that, we made our way to his classroom for our first lesson, before making the children line up outside, he asked me to go inside and 'read the names so I can put them in a seating plan.' I obviously agreed and headed into his classroom, looking round I saw my old mascot Wise Tiger, and remembered back to the last time and everything came flooding back - he's not happy, he's not happy with his life. I wanted to carry on that conversation but I knew he wouldn't appreciate me snooping so I guess for the time being I just had to be nice and let him know I'm there for him.
Coming back to reality, I saw Mr Carter at the door, waiting for me to read a name.
"Cameron?" I shouted.
"Hiya Cam, nice to meet you mate... will you take a seat on the back row please?" Mr Carter said the the year 7.
He asked for a few more names before looking in the classroom, looking me dead in the eye,
"Next name, miss..." He said before realising and correcting his mistake.
"Oh sorry, Taylor... not miss." He apologised as we exchanged a laugh and a funny look.
After the whole class was in and seated, the other helpers and I stood at the back of the classroom, watching Mr Carter do his trial lesson for 7MIC. As he kept getting up and down from his computer to teach the lesson, he sighed exhaustedly and asked,
"Can one of you sit at my desk and work through the powerpoint please?" He asked as he looked only at me - implicitly asking me.
Another helper quickly shouted 'I will' as Mr Carter gave me a disappointed smile and carried on with the lesson. All I could do was stare at him and think about how much I missed his lessons and how fun they were, I didn't regret moving classes but I just wished there was a way to have him teach me again like before. Whilst handing worksheets out, he passed one to me and said,
"Hey Miss Taylor, let's see how much you've remembered from my lessons, have a go at this." He laughed whilst winking discreetly.
As he started to finish up the lesson, he went round the class with a bag of sweets and gave everyone a couple. Whilst they were all putting their hands in the bag, Mr Carter said,
"Right don't go touching all the sweets, and keep them to yourselves. I don't think you'll want anyone else's fingers on your sweets."
Mid way through saying it, I burst out into a fit of laughter. Trying to contain it, he gave me a funny look before telling 7MIC to pack away, he then made his way over to me and asked,
"What did I say? Was it an innuendo or something?" He asked worriedly.
"No no, it wasn't an innuendo. You're just funny..." I replied giving him a sincere smile.
The bell rang and classes started to make their way out, as the helpers and I began to follow, Mr Carter shouted my name, I turned round to see a pack of sweets in his hand.
"Taylor, I not supposed to give you these... we're short on them in the department but I just wanted to say thankyou." He whispered making sure nobody heard the conversation.
"Thankyou? What for Sir?" I asked confused.
"Just for being Taylor... you're a star you know that? Hey I bet you miss this classroom don't you?" He said with a cheeky grin as he looked round his classroom.
"Like you wouldn't believe, I think about it everyday..." I replied sarcastically, imitating his grin.
"Anyway, you better catch up with my kids, 7MIC, that sounds good huh? Have a good weekend Taylor, I'll see you on Wednesday for Year 7 tuition." He said smiling with wide eyes.
"You most certainly will, thanks Sir." I said before walking out. As I reached the corridor, I heard a small voice.
"It was my pleasure Miss Taylor." He almost whispered.