Tuesday 10th May (2016)
For the past week or so, me and Ryan have really been flirting. I doesn't mean anything but where's the harm in a little flirt now and again. Not only that however, in every single one of my maths lessons, Mr Carter finds an excuse to come in. Whether that be he needs a spare workbook, or he's not got any whiteboard pens or... you get the gist, he's always poking his head in. And when he does, his gaze immediately finds me, and after he's stared at me for a little while it then finds Ryan. Depending on where Ryan's sat, or if we're in the middle of a conversation, he will either be really happy and thank Mr Travis for whatever equipment he's provided, or he will snatch it out his hand and slam the door on his way out. The majority of the time, he chooses the latter.
Year 7 tuition was still going ahead and still going strong, we were still laughing and chatting, and not at all teaching anyone.
So as I was packing up the books and pens from today's session, he dismissed the children early so they could have a break before next lesson, yet he asked me to stay and clear up.
"We've not really spoken this session Sir, how was your weekend?" I asked making small talk, avoiding the awkward silence.
"Okay thanks, how's it going with you and Ryan?" He glared at me, eyes full of rage as he spoke passively.
"You know Sir, you seem very concerned with something that has nothing to do with you..." I snapped back, bored of the constant lectures.
"My weekend has nothing to do with you, yet you still asked about that." He imitated me.
"I was worried about you, you seemed down Friday. You can say you're worried about me but if that was true then why haven't you spoke to Ryan huh?" I questioned his error.
"I don't want to speak to Ryan, I care about you Taylor, not Ryan..." He voice softened along with his eyes.
"Right okay, let's ask each other again then and be honest. How was your weekend Sir?" I asked nicer than before.
"Oh, you know, not bad. My Mrs was a pain in the back side, more so than my little boy... how's it going between you and Ryan?" He face looked tense with anticipation as he waited for a reply.
"There's nothing going on with Ryan." I put bluntly, still not sure why he cares so much.
"You know if you get involved with Ryan, you're gonna end-." He started before getting cut off.
A year 7 walked in the room, shocking the both of us.
"Hi Sir, sorry I forgot my bag..." She stuttered nervously before scuttling over to her table and grabbing her bag.
"No worries, you did great today. See you next week." He said putting on a fake smile, hiding the anticipation.
"Thankyou... I thought you were leaving Philippa? Lesson started 5 minutes ago..." The little girl warned me as she looked at me.
Realising the time, I packed my things away and rushed out the door with the little girl before turning round to close the door behind me. Saying to Mr Carter,
"Thanks Sir, we can finish this conversation another time yeah?" I asked, making sure he felt cared about, and that I wanted to hear his thoughts.
"My pleasure Taylor... and yeah I would like-." He said before I cut him off with the slam of the door.
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As I ran to next lesson, I just thought about what he was saying. He cares about me, he (for some reason) wants to know everything about Ryan when there really is nothing to know, and the fact he's like this has made it perfectly clear to me that he's not happy.
As usual, I went straight to the girls and told them EVERYTHING. At this point though, they're really not shocked anymore with what I tell them about Mr Carter, it's almost become the norm for them. However as a duty of being my best friends, they have to listen to me bang on and on about what he said, how he said it, and my theory on why he said it. I have a pretty good theory on what's going on in his head for him to do and say something like that.
Okay here it goes, he's not happy at home and when I came in, I treated him with respect and showed that I cared about him, so our friendship was already off to a strong start. However, his Mrs started to become disinterested and his little boy is probably going through the 'terrible twos' stage so he most likely enjoys work life more than home life right now - and who's at his work everyday, me. Leaving him to displace his emotions for her onto me. Jealousy, check. Protectiveness, check. Caring, check. So as soon as Ryan threatened our friendship, he went all authoritative and alpha male.
Fast I know, and a lot of things covered but once I told this to the girls their faces switched as though it was a lightbulb moment.
"Oh... my... god. He has the hots for you Philippa. I knew it! I told you he had a soft spot for you... what did I say huh?" Billie shouted with some sort of emotion. I don't know whether it was from happiness or the fact that i'd finally agreed with her theory.
"But wait - Philippa you have exams starting in two weeks, same as us, you can think about Mr Carter after our exams, you can't afford to get distracted. I mean that's the reason you left his class..." Nancy joined in, ruining the happy thoughts. I guess she had a point though, I did leave his class.
"I know, don't worry I'm only taking the piss with it you know girls? Do you really think i'd let someone distract me in exam season, nope." I said with enthusiasm, clearly not true but I had to get them off my back about it, I already feel guilty myself.
What am I getting myself into?